The Scars that Memory Leave
by cnt spel and idc
Summary: AU and OOC. It's some VA characters in my own twisted world.T for language and stuff. I dnt own the names from VA or some lyrics, but everything else is mine so NO TOUCHY MY STORY. Thanks and enjoy
1. Waiting

Chapter 1

"7" I said, arching my eyebrow to show my uncertainty.

"I don't know... he might be an 8. I mean sure his hair is kind of little boyish, but still. He could always fix that. I'd say based on his face-"

"And his body. Don't forget the body." My best friend Lissa rolled her eyes and I laughed.

"Fine based on his face and body, he's and 8 and a half." I nodded in agreement, and then scanned for another guy worth ranking. We were sitting in a plain hall along with 98 other kids. _97, _I reminded my self silently, painfully. My mind was bombarded by thoughts I always tried to keep locked away. Far, far away. I didn't look up when Lissa went into the office, didn't even wish her good luck.

Images of me and Alex, my ex-best friend, clawed their way into my mind. Pictures of us meeting in the first grade, of him and me hanging out in the cafeteria, of us taking down a bunch of chumps, all swam before my eyes. Each image was more painful than the last, and I tried to stop the flow before the one that hurt the most surfaced. I failed however, and the memory engulfed me. I saw myself finding the note. Watched as I collapsed onto the floor, gasping for air. Right before the end of the 8th grade, he ran away. The note had said that he had "gone to find peace in himself". Scanning through it, I had found that he ran away to the Dami. They are the monsters that make the monster under the bed look like a kitty cat. He wanted to be one of them, and to do so he had had to commit one of the most unforgivable acts in the world. He had to ask to be transformed.

The worst part was that everyone thought we had been, well more than friends if you know what I mean. They had all expected us to start dating, or at least be put in the same pack. It's not like we had been, but I could see why they'd think that. He and I had been inseparable. We'd stuck up for each other as best as we could, never backing down from a fight. We hadn't always won, but we'd always been there for each other.

"Pierce Henderson!" The chilling voice of the Judge snapped me out of my memories, back into reality. Lissa ran down the hall too fast for me to see if it was out of excitement or embarrassment. I shook myself, trying to calm down. I had to move on, to be strong. He had made his choice, and I had made mine. Life was like that, and you had to push through it. I slumped back into the bench, suddenly overcome by exhaustion. Shaking myself, I tried to focus my thoughts.

I was a Strijder in training, or a Krijder. Strijders have the sole purpose of hunting down and killing Dami, the thing that Alex had been turned into. They were terrifying monsters that could transform into animals they'd killed. Dami got joy out of terrorizing humans. If I was a normal teenager, I would've been going into freshman year. Only I didn't go to a normal high school. I attended an _institute._ Littman Institute to be specific. It covered pre-school through graduation of high school, and everyone, even the faculty members, lived on campus. The thing was huge, to put it lightly. Of course, when you're training for war, I suppose you needed your space.

The younger kids (pre-school through 8th grade) took normal classes (math, lit, ect.), while the high school kids took some…extra classes. When you got to the 9th grade, the very first thing they did was Judge you. It was the Judgment that decided what klase you would be trained in, the Judgment that decided the rest of your life for you. Once put in a klase, they divided all the klasses up into packs. These Packs were made up of ten members, two of each klase, who had to go to class, eat, and sleep together for the next 4 years. They even took their finals together. So when a Pack was created, they were assigned to an apartment-like building that contained two bedrooms (a girls and guys) that had adjoining bathrooms, a living room, and a kitchen. There they lived, hung out, and just tried to bond as best as they could.

There are five klasses that Strijders are divided into, each of them holding unique abilities with which we fight the Dami. I won't get into the whole thing, but basically they're also each known for a talent and symbol that represents them. The first klase is Heks. They're known for their intellect and spirit, with the symbol of an owl perched on an oak staff. Second is Jaeger. They have a strong connection with nature itself, and have the symbol of a huge dog standing next to a tree. Next is Dief. They are known for dealing with stealth and shadows. Their symbol is two crossed daggers. Following that is Genezer, which deals with kindness and sunshine. Their symbol is a ray of sunshine coming down to earth. The final klase is the Guardian. They're all strength and passion. Their symbol is a sword over a shield with a wolf bane crest.

Pictures of what my Pack might be like raced through my head as I sat there tensed. Suddenly, an uninvited thought clawed its way to the front of my mind. _What if I never moved on? What if they deemed me so unstable from the incident that they didn't let me go to a pack at all? Or worse, they simply couldn't sense anything in me?_ It sounds silly I know, but it was every Krijders' worst nightmare. In extreme cases, they didn't let the mentally unbalanced go on that year, sometimes never. Other times, the Judge couldn't _see_ anything. Not because his eyes were muddled, but because nothing was there. No clue as to what that person would be, no signal as to how they would spend the rest of their life. Nothing. Any Krijder that didn't get put into a Klasse did finish school, but only the normal kind. From there they could decide whether they wanted to work on campus (as a janitor, lunch person, ect.), or go into the human world, and try to mingle with their society. But that wouldn't, _couldn't_ happen to me. I was just too…too confident, too ahead to fall so behind. I was at or close to the top of my class in every subject, and intended to keep it that way.

Pierce's emergence from the office jerked me out of my dark thoughts. I knew that I was next, but somehow couldn't make myself stand.

"Rose Hathaway" Oh no. I couldn't go in there. I couldn't move. My mouth was completely dry, and I saw people looking at me, wondering why I wasn't standing up. After all, I was Rose. I was a girl that everybody knew. Whether it was in a good or bad way, I had a reputation to uphold. So I had to get up. After all, there weren't any retakes for the Judgment.

So I told my brain and muscles to stop complaining, and got up. Striding towards the door, I tried to resume my normal air of confidence and disregard. I walked right up towards the Judge, and in my most sure voice remarked "Hope this doesn't take too long. I've got somewhere to be." I heard several sharp intakes of breath that reported how successful I had been about smoothing out the hesitation. But the Judge merely remained stone faced. I then traipsed through the door and into the office. As soon as the door was closed, I took a deep breath, and sent a quick prayer up to God, hoping for the best.


	2. Judgment

Chapter 2

"Please, have a seat." The Judge had a calm air about him that, for no apparent reason, pissed me off. "Sit still and try to calm your nerves. If you really do have somewhere to be, and that wasn't just a façade to make yourself look better in the eyes of your peers, you will want to cooperate."

My earlier statement popped into my head, and I now realized how stupid that had been. Of course he would have been able to see it. The key question here was whether or not my classmates had seen through the act. My temper cooled, and I followed his instructions. Although I didn't have an appointment or anything, I still wanted to be out of this guy's office ASAP. So I sat there and waited. And waited. The guy was just staring. It was really creepy, and I started to wonder what he saw. Obviously he would see my long, straight brown hair, my bangs which in the summer got natural blond highlights. I was tall for my age, 5'8, and had rich golden skin. I met his hazel eyes with my deep green ones, and felt my impatience start to get the better of me. After ten more minutes of him simply staring at me, I burst.

"Can't you see anything?" I blurted before I could resume my calm posture. I knew it was unlikely that he would answer, but I had to know if I was going to be one of _them._ The unsorted Krijders. Because they never finished the training, they never earned their full title of Strijder. They just kind of went away.

He merely laughed. "You just passed a very hard test. This particular test gets a lot of the weaker ones. We time how long you can wait before asking what I can see, therefore showing how much restraint you have over yourself."

"Did I do um…well?" I asked hesitantly. No wonder Pierce took so long if he had to sit through this.

"I'm afraid I'm not allowed to tell you that until the end." I could see in his eyes a calculating face, no matter how hard he was trying to conceal it, and realized that this had to be another test. Because I wanted to run up and snap his neck. And I was sure I that that wasn't the answer they were looking for. So I bit my tongue instead. Hard. The salty taste of blood filled my mouth, and I ignored the pain that accompanied it.

Neither of us talked for a good half hour after that, and I was just about to run screaming through the window, when he stood up. "You may go now." I did a double take.

"Aren't you going to tell me the results?" I was so confused. Forty minutes of my day had just been wasted, and he wasn't going to tell me what Klasse I would be placed into? What kind of moron did he take me for? "I mean, I just sat here for forty minutes while you stared, and all you say is 'you may go now'? What the hell?" I took pride in the almost perfect impression I had just done of him.

"As soon as you leave, I will call the administrators over in the Auditorium, and there you will be told your results. It does take a little time to make up my mind." A little time? The guy just sat there silent for forty minutes, and he wants a little time? But I held my tongue. Again. It took all of my self restraint, but I managed not to scream as I walked out of the office.

Stepping out, I almost forgot that there were eighty-something other kids in the hall. (Each grade contains one hundred Krijders, and I and Pierce were some of the first names on the list.) I turned up the swagger and strode confidently towards the opposite end. "So much for those plans," I said flippantly as I walked through the door at the opposite end of the ornate hall.

As soon as I was out of sight from the hall, I sprinted for the Auditorium. I was currently in the Administration Branch. This branch held, in order from left to right, the Auditorium, the Staff Living quarters, and, of course, the Offices. All the buildings at Littman were totally modern, with edgy metal railings and wood paneling and all. The buildings were also all separated, so that it created a kind of inside-out feeling. There were several offices, but one was separated from the rest by a long hallway. This hallway led to the Judge's office. I suppose he was like a principal for a normal school, except he could see into people's souls. Kind of creepy, I know. It really helps with the discipline.

If you went up a path to the north, you would have come to a split in the road. There were two other branches, each leading opposite ways, and then there was the original path continuing north. To the west (left) of the path was the Teaching Area. It contained the schools and utilities. There were archer fields in the middle of a track, a grassy field, some stables (yes the actual horse kind), and a fenced off training area containing human-shaped dummies. Next to that were the two school buildings. They both had doors facing toward each other, and although there wasn't a tangible wall, you could just tell that the inhabitants weren't meant to mingle. The school closer to the utilities was the high school, and the other was the K-8 school. The K-8 school almost _never_ used the utilities. If you wanted to get exercise or training outside of P.E, you had to do it on your own time.

The right branch of the path led to the housing area. They were apartment-like buildings and, like the schools, there were two of them, and they were also divided by grade level. The first was the K-8 building, and it held several large rooms that each held 20 bunk beds. This building was segregated into boys and girls, and each had a sort of matron that kept the dorms in check. The housing area also contained a pool, a cafeteria, and another track. I guess they just liked to see us running.

And no, I didn't forget to mention the church, there just wasn't one. At Littman, God was optional. I personally supposed there could be a God, but figured that until it was proven, I shouldn't have to have faith. So when I said 'OMG' or sent a quick prayer up, I was merely saying it out of habit. If you're one of those people who are _really _religious, I'm not trying to disrespect you or anything. You should find full respect right here. But anyways, back to the story. . . Littman was in California, but I'm not talking nice, sunny L.A. No, I'm talking in the freaking middle of nowhere Northern California, stuck in a forest and surrounded by mountains. I suppose it was a great view, but I think palm trees and sunshine would have been more welcome. The entire campus was surrounded by a huge, and I do mean freaking _huge_ wall. That wall must have been 60 feet tall and 3 yards deep. There was only one way through the thing and that was through the North gate. This gate led to an antechamber, where the main guard station was. They then passed you through to the campus. From the Gate, as it was commonly called, there was a path going south into the Institute, which is the same path we were just following north.

The Auditorium was two hundred yards away, so I was there in about a minute. Granted I was gasping for air, but I was still there. As I jogged up to the double doors of the modern building, a thought struck me. I was pretty sure that the other 4 Krijders that had gone before me had all taken less than twenty minutes. Mine had been forty. At least. Oh God. What if I was a Nothing? What if I hadn't made the cut and that was why it had taken so freaking long with the whole thing? _Pull yourself together Rose!_ I mentally slapped myself, and then passed through the doors.

I needed to stop running, to not appear out of air when I went up to the teacher, so I sat down on one of the benches that lined the hall in front of the actual auditorium. I rested there for five minutes, hoping for the best and dreading the worst, and then got up once I had my composure back. Walking into the hall, I noticed that there were several students just sitting there in the back, pondering what the news they had just received meant to their lives. Some of them were excited, others were sad, but all were completely dazed. Lissa was no where to be seen.

Gulping, I came up to the table that had been put up at the foot of the stage. "Rose Hathaway." I tried to always say my name with pride, so I winced when it cracked. Luckily, I didn't think anyone had heard.

The attendant there smiled, then handed me a packet. On opening the packet I removed a sheet of paper, and without a second thought, started reading. The paper read:

Rose Hathaway:

Congratulations! Here starts a new chapter in your life. The information that you receive today will determine the path for the rest of your life. A few words of wisdom: always try to compromise, listen to others, and with all power comes an equal amount of responsibility. After receiving this information, please report to your dorm immediately to meet your Pack.

This section was in printer ink, and I could just tell that this is what everyone got on their report. I therefore only scanned through it, quickly reaching the hastily scrawled note:

Underneath your mask of aloofness lies a real person, one that cares about her friends, and tries to always do the right thing. You have recently been through a severe tragedy, one that has left you with a greater understanding of how life can be lost at any moment. You are also extraordinarily patient for one so young, and this allows you to look at problems from all angles. Most adults can't quite grasp what you have learned so quickly. Take head in my advice though: Never let your guard down, for those who pick you up might just as soon watch you fall, and those who stand in your way may soon become a lifeline.

Pack: 2

Dorm: 32

Klasse: Guardian

I could hardly believe it. Me, a Guardian. Guardians were the leaders of the Packs, and had to try to bring peace in all situations. They were the captains and were revered for it. Unfortunately, because they had to learn how to fight with almost anything, and had to take leadership classes and such, they also went through longer school days, more training, and harder classes. I didn't mind though. I welcomed the extra work. It kept my mind from wandering onto certain subjects that I'd prefer not to think about. Like a certain Ex-best friend. It was everything I'd hoped for. My features were overcome with joy, and I almost fell over for the pure bliss that flooded my insides.

I dug into the bottom of the packet, and my hand hit some plastic. Pulling it out, I saw that it was an I.D card. The thing was pretty cool. It had all of my info (Name, age, Pack number, ect.) plus a really cute picture of me that was going in the yearbook and a weird barcode. The card was attached to a plastic bracelet, which I quickly slipped around my wrist.

The unbelievable part in all of this was that there were only, say two female guardians out of a hundred. They rarely got selected, and when they did, it was for a damn good reason. Female guardians almost always made history, whether it was a small thing, like leading a battle, or a whole ordeal, like killing thirty Dami in their lifetime. I felt high, and I got the impulse to move. I started toward the door, wondering what my new Pack would be like. I had to tell someone the great news. It took me almost five minutes to get back to the dorms, and I again pondered whether they just enjoyed seeing us work.

Crossing into the common area at the bottom of the High Dorms, as we liked to refer to them, (Everything K-8 was the Low whatever and everything high school level was the high whatever.) I thought about what my new Pack might be like, and again hoped for the best.


	3. Meeting

Chapter 3

I climbed the stairs with a mixture of doubt, hope, fear, and anticipation. Reaching the door, I took a deep breath, and then pushed through it. Immediately I was buffeted by a flurry of movement and noise as someone screamed "WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME!" I took a step back and started blinking. My eyes had just been blinded by three strobe lights. When my eyes finally cleared, I looked up at the door, thinking, hoping that I had gotten the wrong dorm. Standing in front of me was Matt Docent, the worst snob on campus. _Oh ya, _I thought. _This is gonna be great._ The fact that my thoughts had a sarcastic tone should give you an idea of how serious the situation was.

"So…um what's you're name?" I didn't know what else to say, and decided it was best to play dumb as to our identities.

"Matt. Matt Docent. And you?" He talked with a cold, controlled edge in his voice, and I could tell right away that he took offense to my question. Stupid right? Who cares if I don't know his name?

"Rose Hathaway. What's your Klasse anyways?" There was so much awkward in the air I could almost grab it. I didn't think I would be able to handle this guy being my equal. See, because each Pack has two of everything, and Guardians are supposed to be the leaders, they're sort of co-captains I guess. At least, for a couple of weeks. Then there's a vote, and an official and secondary leader was selected.

"Heks. I don't know how or why, but Heks. And you?" I almost cheered at his reply, but knew he'd probably slam the door in my face at that.

"Guardian." I replied as coolly as I could. I got the satisfaction of seeing his eyes pop at the whole I'm-his-boss-now thing, and had to fight a smile. He was about to reply when a tall, sandy blond haired guy tapped my shoulder. Turning, I quickly asked, in my most polite voice, "Are you with pack 2?" I was a little dismayed when his face didn't shift from the bored, dry expression he had been wearing.

"Unfortunately." He had a husky voice that sounded familiar, though I didn't know why. After the one word, he walked into the room, threw his bag into what was apparently the guys' room, and sat down on the couch. Before either Matt or I could ask him his name, he had a book open and his head inside it. I shrugged and shoved my way past Matt.

I had to go unpack, and Matt just _had_ to finish wiring the five other strobe lights. Ugh. Reminding myself to have a talk with him about that later, I strolled into the room Blondie hadn't chucked his bag at. That was his temporary name, I decided. The room was standard, with five single beds against one wall, and five dressers against the other. All of the beds had nightstands with lamps on them, and all of the dressers had mirrors hung over them. The walls were an ugly green, but you took what you got. The wall opposite the door was actually a balcony door, and I noticed a high tech-looking device on the wall next to it. I so wanted to check out the view. But first, I had to unpack.

The living situation was first come first serve, so I quickly took the lane closest to the balcony, and started unloading my stuff into the dresser. I clipped a note I knew I shouldn't have kept onto the mirror, as a reminder of the person who had written it. After a few moments down memory lane, I sighed and turned away.

The beds were so plain, I almost screamed. Sheets, pillows, and comforters were all white. Luckily, I had my own comforter from when I had first moved into the Low Dorm. All beds and accessories were a standard white, so as not to offend the owner of a bed, but they had comforters that you could get to make them a little more _you_.

When all of my stuff had been unpacked, I attempted to walk out onto the balcony, but the thing was locked. I searched the entire door, but couldn't find a switch. A thought struck me. I turned toward the little device I had seen before, and flashed my I.D card at the little thing. It beeped, and then a green light came on. When I tried to open the balcony door this time, it slid with ease. The balcony had a desk, two chairs, and another opening from the boys' room I assumed. The entire thing looked completely modern, with metal railing and all. The desk had a bunch of paper, and some writing utensils. But I ignored that, and turned towards the view. I gasped. The balcony, being taller than the wall, overlooked the forest, with the snowcapped mountains in the background. Oaks and maples, their leaves falling as I looked, stared back at me. The sharp scent of pine also greeted my nose, though I didn't see them out there. In the distance, my enhanced hearing picked up the sound of running water, and searching around, I spotted a little ribbon of water winding its way through the forest, the sun's rays gleaming off of the surface of the water. It was all so calm, I actually felt myself relaxing. I sat there, content for a while. Finally, I stood up, and turned around. Glancing at the desk on my way out, I noticed a sheet of paper that was separated from the others on the desk. There was a typed message here that read:

Guardians-

Obviously you have realized by now that your cards open the door, and I want to inform you that this balcony is for you two only. This is your private space. You two will make decisions, plan, and talk here from now on. Only your keycards work to unlock the door, and I suggest you use this area to your advantage.

-Judge Harks

I set the note back down, and continued my stroll back to the living room. So I now had a private place in the dorm. I supposed I should be grateful. When I passed through the bedroom, I was surprised to see that all of the slots had signs of other people. I didn't think I had been out there too long. Sighing, I put on my best poker face, and then walked out into the living room…and nearly had a stroke.

Matt had finished the other strobe lights, and the lace, much as I hated to admit it, looked great. The other eight members of the Pack were just hanging out. I wondered what I had missed, and was about to go ask them about it, but then thought better of it. Seeing as no one had noticed me yet, I decided to see how long it would last.

Blondie was still in the same exact spot on the couch, head buried in the same book, and I realized that the others were perfectly content to ignore him. I would have to fix that I thought, and sighed. I had a lot of work cut out for me. Next to Matt was a Barbie-like girl. Not that she looked young (or plastic), but she had the standard cheerleader blue-eyes and blond hair combo. Her long hair was pulled back into a sleek, high ponytail, and I felt jealousy roar its ugly head. Sure, I was pretty, but she was the stereo typical goddess. Standing at 5'6, she had a golden tan and a bright smile. It was as if she was always outside, which, I realized, she probably was. I marked her down as a Jaeger and moved to the next Krijder.

A shorter, paler version of Matt stood beside her, but his tall stature and serious demeanor sent the message that he was not to be messed with. He had the same blackish hair, but he had the sense not to gel it back like some sort of vulture. His eyes were a pale green, and his nose was crooked, like it'd been broken once or twice. For some weird reason, he kept glancing around him, as if he expected something to jump out of the wall. Strange, but I could work with that.

Standing opposite of him was a pale, bronze haired girl. She had a kind face with blue-grey eyes and white teeth, and stood at the average 5'5. Something about her made me relax, and I found myself thinking what a good friend she was. About how honest and nice she was. _What?_ I thought_. I don't even know her. _Mistrust filled me, and I promised myself to keep an eye on her.

The next person struck me as normal, and I wanted to run up and hug her. It wasn't like I had a thing against weird people. Hell, I was weird myself, but _someone_ in the Pack had to be normal. I didn't want this to be the place they put all the misfits. She had a fair complexion, which clashed with her jet-black hair. Yet it somehow looked okay on her. Her smile had a lazy tinge to it, but in her honey-brown eyes I saw that she was interested in everything that was said. Standing at 5'5, she wasn't the strongest person around, but at least she looked semi-smart.

My eyes shifted to a slightly-taller-than-average guy who had those long, yet still very strong muscles that were made for endurance. His light brown hair was short in the back, but his bangs were long and had been gelled to stick out in a way that reminded me vaguely of a hand fan. He had the same tan skin and blue eyes as the Jaeger girl, and I looked closely at the both of them; I gathered that they must be brother and sister. Twins even. Smiling, I wondered if they'd be arguing all the time like on T.V. I didn't have any siblings, so I wouldn't know. In fact, family was a rarity for Strijders, what with the war, so I guess we had a couple celebrities.

The dark thoughts in my head fell away when I spotted the guy on the couch. Hot didn't even come close to describing him, and I had to close my mouth before my jaw unhinged itself and fell to the floor. He had brown hair (with what looked like natural wheat-gold streaks running through it) that had been flipped to the front and then spiked. I couldn't tell how tall he was because he was seated, but hoped that I wasn't taller than him. That was always awkward, and I didn't want to make him feel bad or anything. He had on a fitted white muscle-T, a motorcycle jacket, and dark blue jeans. When he talked, I saw a perfect smile and white teeth.

As if he could sense me looking at him, he glanced over in my direction, and beckoned me over. Then he stood. He was at least an inch taller than me. Yay! "I'm assuming you're the other Guardian. I'm Dimitri. The whole Guardian thing makes me your co-captain. And you are?" The name fit him perfectly, and I resisted the urge to sit down next to him. And even though he said a lot, it wasn't rushed like he was a chatterbox. It was slow and drawn out, as if to imply a certain laziness.

Instead of diving down onto the couch beside him, I resumed my normal confidence and said, almost directly to Dimitri, "Rosemarie Hathaway, but you can call me Rose. I've already met Matt, but I don't know the others. And where's the last one?" We were a person short. He was about to answer when Lissa walked through the kitchen door. I squealed like a little girl and ran at her. As soon as she realized who it was, she hugged me back and we both started talking. This went on for a few moments before we remembered we now had an entire Pack to pay attention to. We turned, and they all introduced themselves.

The blond Jaeger girl was Kylie, and the similar guy, Nick, was indeed her twin. That bronze-haired girl that had filled me with mistrust was Jean, the weird mini-Matt was Paul, and the normal, fair-skinned girl was Abby. Blondie turned out to be Sam, and honestly, I was surprised he'd even given me his name. He looked so caught up in his book; I didn't know how he knew that I was here, let alone that we were introducing ourselves.

The twins were both Jaegers, the Heks were Abby and Matt, and Jean and Lissa were the Genezers. The two Diefs were Sam and Paul, and that left me and Dimitri as the Guardians. We talked for a bit afterwards, but after the initial introduction, everyone broke off into little groups. I saw Lissa getting into an argument with Matt, who was at the same time eying Kylie. After seeing Abby looking at Matt, I felt some pity and realized that she liked him, even though he would never go for her. I also knew that Kylie would never go for Matt, but that Matt probably knew that too. Jean and Paul were talking in the kitchen, and Sam was still reading. Sigh. This was going to be a long four years.


	4. Dimitri

Chapter 4

Glancing over at Dimitri, I saw him taking in the same conflicting picture I had just observed, and grabbed his arm. Startled, he looked at me questioningly. I shook my head and led him through the girls' room out to the balcony. Once we were out on the balcony, and definitely out of ear shot from the others, I turned on him, and had to force my eyes away from his body and up to his face. Even his _eyes_ were cool. The black pupils were surrounded by icy blue, which were then ringed with black.

"Is there any particular reason you dragged me out here?" His deep, dulcet voice jerked me from my ogling, and into the real world.

"Not really, just wanted to show you the view. This place is supposedly for our use only, so we can work on plans…and stuff." I don't know why I added on that last bit, and felt my cheeks start to show a rare blush. Before he could notice, I turned toward the balcony, and leaned on the rail. The sun was setting, and it lit up the sky in a way that should have been on a postcard. After my last idiotic comment, I expected him to shrug and go back inside. Instead, he stayed right where he was, and the next time he spoke, I could here a smile in his voice.

"So, you just wanted to get a head start on work, or you wanted to get away from that terrible mess in there. Honestly, I don't see how were going to get that sorted out." I risked a glance under the cover of my hair and saw that I had been right about his smile.

I didn't know what to say, and later wished I had something professional sounding, because right then, Lissa walked up to the doorway. I jumped away from him. It's not like I wanted to give him the wrong idea, but Pack members of the same Klasse were specifically forbidden from having relationships. Something about genes not mixing well for the same Klasse, but with Guardians, it was especially forbidden, because if the relationship ended badly, we still had to work well together. There was also the possibility that the relationship would cause us to make irrational decisions on the battlefield, and we couldn't do that. Anyways, I didn't want anyone getting the wrong impression. I clearly hadn't succeeded though, because she waggled her eyebrows at me over Dimitri's shoulder, and I blushed again. What was with me?

"Hey um, we were just wondering what you guys wanted for dinner. The pantry and fridge are fully stocked, so we can have anything from stir-fry to fish." I mumbled something about 'one minute', and looked at her with what I hoped was an explaining look. I wanted to stay out here with Dimitri, don't get me wrong, but my hissing stomach told me otherwise. She nodded and left, and this time I shut the door.

Turning back around, I saw that Dimitri also had a hungry look in his eye, and I silently cursed Lissa for ruining what had been some really good alone time with a really hot guy. Oh well. Sighing, I remarked with an unwilling voice, "We should probably go back inside." He nodded, and walked back in through the guys' room. I went through my room, wishing there were eight more Dimitri's in there.

We ended up having fried rice and spicy chicken for dinner, and I thanked God that we had Abby, who was a decent cook. Crowding around the coffee table in the middle of the living room, we all shared a little more about ourselves. Kylie was in an on-campus animal wellness club, Nick loved camping and outdoors activities in general (really what was with these two?), and Paul loved soccer. Littman didn't have a chalked field or anything, but we did have some goals set up near the Gate, and he and his friends had apparently bought a ball during some field trip. Abby spoke 5 different languages fluently (my overachiever sensor was screaming), Sam was the president of the book club, and Jean was on the student council, which didn't surprise me considering her natural 'charisma'. I already knew everything about Lissa, but she shared her love of music with the rest of the Pack. Matt knew a bunch of famous people (and by people, I mean humans. Talk about gross), and Dimitri played lead guitar in a band. Really, the guy had to be a demi-god, at least. When it came to my turn, I shrugged and said there was nothing special about me. They all looked at me like I was crazy, and I felt the need to ask "What?" at all of their stares.

"Nothing special about you? We all knew your name as soon as we saw you!" Kylie told me in exasperation. "You're like, legendary!" I was helplessly confused, and hoped that I wouldn't have to ask why. But after a few more moments of squirming in my seat, I cracked.

"Um, why? I know I have a reputation for getting in fights and all, but how's that cool as being able to speak 5 different languages fluently, or playing guitar or soccer? The biggest accomplishment I've had in the last few weeks is making Guardian. What does that have to do with talent?"

"First of all, because you're the first girl to make Guardian in like a 100 years, and second of all, you're not famous for your talents. You were best friends with that Alex kid. It was you who found the note right? Anyways, we want to know what he was like. I mean, you guys _were _dating, so I figure you could give us behind the scene details."

The happy meal had just taken a turn for the worst, and I resisted the urge to punch my new Pack member. I needed an excuse to go to bed, fast. My mind went through all of the possibilities before realizing that I had to tell the truth. Ugh. The truth made me look so weak. Thankfully, Lissa stepped in, excusing my weakness. "Um, that's still a really fresh wound, so could we like, change the subject or something? And also, they weren't dating. They were just friends." They skulked a little, but agreed to change the subject, and the rest of the night ended up being relatively enjoyable.

We stayed up late talking, laughing at each others jokes, and, get this, Dimitri couldn't keep his eyes off of me the _entire_ time. I was all, _Does he like me? But then, why wouldn't he like Kylie, or one of the other super goddesses? I mean, they do all this cool stuff, and I have this reputation for beating people up. He probably doesn't like me. But what if he does? We couldn't go out, but we could still have this connection thing in secret. That would be so awesome! We could be Romeo and Juliet with the whole forbidden love…_ on and on it went, the whole time my face completely animated by whatever joke was being told, not showing the flood of thoughts going on in my mind. I got the idea that maybe it wouldn't be such a terrible time after all. Things were looking up in my future.


	5. Firsts

Chapter 5

"Someone shut that stupid goddamn thing off!" I screamed into my pillow. It was five. AM. Why on Earth would someone get up at five AM? The school day didn't start for two more hours, and we had stayed up 'till one last night. Or was it this morning? My brain hurt to much to think about it, and I was about to scream at whoever's stupid alarm clock it was when someone walked over to my dresser and calmly chucked what was apparently my alarm clock at the wall. I sat up then, embarrassed. I had just yelled at my friends to shut my alarm clock off for me. This was going to be a _terrible_ day, I could already tell.

I apologized for yelling, and thought back as to the reason my stupid alarm would be set for five-freaking-thirty. When I remembered that I had to get up and go to conditioning, I groaned. The extra classes that I previously hadn't minded now pissed me off. Grumbling, I got up, showered and changed, then packed my bag and stumbled into the kitchen for a quick bite.

Flipping on lights as I went, I saw someone already in the kitchen, and recognized Dimitri. "You have the same conditioning class as me?" My voice clearly startled him, because he must have gotten a foot of air on that jump. Turning, he saw it was me and relaxed a little more.

"Oh, it's just you. Ya, we have the same schedule the entire day." At my questioning expression, he nodded over towards the door and said, "The schedules got dropped off over there last night. The last five periods after lunch we all have together, and the same Klasses have the same schedule the entire day."

Despite the blissful thoughts going in my head, my face showed no change in expression, and I calmly asked, "Will we get to come back here for lunch, or do we have to eat over at the cafeteria?" He shrugged at the question, and both of us shuddered at the cafeteria, causing us to laugh. My negative thoughts were completely subdued.

Dimitri had made some eggs, which we wolfed down, and then we took off. "Where are we supposed to go anyways?" I questioned. He was leading me over to the track, which I guess made sense. Next to the track stood a weight/exercise room and we ambled up to the door. We were early, but the door was unlocked, so we went inside.

The room had the standard equipment (benches, weights, treadmill, ect.), an office for the coach, and two doors leading to the girls' and guys' locker rooms. No one else was in the room, so we shrugged and went to get changed. I was about to leave my iPod, then thought better of it. Everything was better with music. On emerging, I found Dimitri standing there, looking around the room, examining the equipment. I started stretching, and was about to tune the rest of the world out with my music when the coach walked in.

Coach Dargan was a tall, bald guy with enough muscle to fit onto two other guys his age. I shoved my iPod into my pocket, and stood at attention. Dimitri ran over and stood next to me, as stiff as I was. Littman may have modern buildings and technology, but the teachers were all formal and old fashioned. "At ease" he said gruffly. "You two are the only ones scheduled at this time, so I guess you'll be training partners." Reading off a sheet, he then assigned me to the treadmill and Dimitri to the bike. "You may use that little iPod of yours Miss Hathaway," he said as he walked towards the door.

I colored, and Dimitri laughed. Coach Dargan turned on him. "Was that laughter I heard? Do you think it's funny that she's allowed to have music Mr. Belikov? Because if you think it's funny, I think fifty push ups would be hysterical." Dimitri murmured what sounded like an apology, and with that Coach Dargan left. Without a word, we went to our assigned equipment and started exercising.

Twenty minutes later, Dargan walked in with a clipboard. He looked at both of our machines, and then jotted some things down. "Alright, now work on the weights." We walked over to the benches, and he set us both up with fifty pound bars. The coach then walked over to the timer on the wall, set it for eighteen minutes, and grunted out our instructions. "Do as many reps as you can in five minutes, then rest for one, and repeat the cycle. I'll be back when the timer runs out." Seeing that we had started, he once again left us. Exactly eighteen minutes later, he pushed his way through the doors and once again jotted down our results.

This process repeated for the next hour or so, only with different exercises, and when the bell finally rang, signaling the start of school for the other Klasses, my muscles were screaming. I felt slightly light-headed, but ignored the pain. Soon enough my body would be used to the routine, I figured, and I wouldn't have to go through all of this. The fact that Dimitri was breathing just as heavily as I was at the end of conditioning told me he had the same thoughts as I did running through his mind.

Once we were both outside in our normal clothes, I asked, "So…what's next?"

"Leadership Theory" he replied, and off we went. The rest of the morning continued like that, and by lunch I'd knocked out Conditioning, Leadership Theory, Martial Arts, and Weapons Training. On four hours of sleep. It was a wonder that I was still standing.

Dimitri and I headed back to the High Dorms, looking forward to just chilling after such a grueling morning. We figured that we could use the balcony for homework over a nice lunch. As we jogged up the stairs leading to the doors, I brushed into a short, blonde girl with doll-like features. The only reason I noticed that she was even there was that I thought she might be from the Low-dorms, lost.

I opened my mouth to tell her so, but she shut me down with a quick, "Watch where you're going, bitch." My eyes popped, and I had to tell myself deliberately to slow my breathing. It took me half a second to process that I had caused her to spill a drop of coffee on her fake designer sweater, that she was clearly a prissy girl from an older Pack, and that I could stuff her in the trash can five feet from us with ease.

But I was nice, and instead replied, "Who you calling bitch, Prissy ass? Did I spill coffee on you're oh so precious, _fake _sweater?" Dimitri, of course, had just realized that something was wrong, and was now watching with amusement.

"At least I don't shop at Salvation Army!" She smirked, and I wanted so badly to hit her that my fists started to tremble.

"At least I don't shop at a Doll-house" At that point, she froze, and I saw her fists start to tremble. I walked confidently away, saying as I passed, "Names Rose. Just remember that I have thorns, and you'll be fine."

When I got to Dimitri, he opened his mouth with a questioning look, but I just said, "Just keep walking. That was an older girl." He nodded and followed, and we were both laughing by the time we got to the dorm. We made some sandwiches with Kylie and Nick, who showed up a bit after us.

Our next class was math, which was a breeze for me. I finished my 'homework' within five minutes, and was doodling for the rest of the class, zoning in and out. English and Science were the same, and I was starting to wonder how boring high school was going to be when our history teacher walked in.

"Good afternoon class. I am Mrs. Dearborn, as it says clearly on the board. I didn't want to bore you all on you're first day, so I decided to tell you guys a story." She sat back on her desk, into a relaxed pose, and then began.

"Long, long ago, when the Netherlands had just sent over their first colony to the New World, there were no Strijders, no Krijders, not even any Dami. No, there was only the natives there- the Unami Indians- and the Dutch settlers. The Dutch, being haughty and thinking that they had the rights to the land, tried to force the Indians to leave. One thing led to another, and suddenly the settlers were at war with the Unami. Of course, with their superior weapons, the Dutch easily took the lead, and started to overpower the Indians in every battle they fought.

"The chief of the tribe, Kanunuwaka, new that everyday the tribe came closer to death, and so went to Camicasis Cliff, a very spiritual, wise place for the Unami. He sat for three days, unmoving, and prayed to the Gods with all his might that they would send something to help his people survive. On the third day, a wolf happened to wonder out to the Cliff top, and Kanunuwaka was forced to move and defend himself. The chief won the battle, and a thought came to him. He too out his deer skinned pouch and scooped up as much of the wolf's blood as he could. He then proceeded to drink it, and as it came down his throat, he felt as though he was suffocating. The air left his lungs, the spittle his mouth and he collapsed.

"For hours he lay there, unable to move. When he finally got up, he noticed that he was lower to the ground. He looked down and saw that he was on all fours. Not hands and feet, but wolf's paws. Alarmed, he looked around for the body of the wolf he had killed. It was gone, and he realized what had happened. He had become the wolf. Running as fast as his newly furred four legs would let him, he darted down the mountain. As he came upon the village, he thought of how great of a weapon this would be. The strength and stamina of a wolf. It was perfect. And if he could turn into other animals as well, so much the better for his tribe, so much the worse for the settlers, the pale faces. But just at the entrance, he realized that in his wolf form, he might scare the tribe. Kanunuwaka had no idea how to change back into human form, and so he was self exiled. Another three days he stayed outside, until finally, as he thought of his family, his kids, his whole life as a human, he turned back.

"His thoughts of humanity, and his will to turn back allowed him to, and he ran happily back to his village. Once he told his subjects where he had been and what he had found, they were overjoyed. They started to turn into bears, wolfs, even the moose. These were the first Dami.

"Understandably, the war took a sharp turn, and the pale faces were suddenly losing men by the hundreds. Finally, they realized what was going on, and their mayor, Sweedenhouff, decided it was time to take action. None of the machine like weapons was having any effect on the Dami. The guns wouldn't fire, grenades wouldn't blow up, and all of the compasses would suddenly spin out of control. He figured that since the chief had gotten his powers from the blood of animals, he would take blood again. Start fighting the war the old fashioned way with swords and all. So the mayor set up a trap for a wolf-dam, and when he had caught them, he cut the throat of the Dami into the goblet that he had ready. Downing the goblet, he turned and stumbled. Because the blood of the wolf was distilled by that of the Unami, the mayor didn't faint, or even become the wolf. No, he became the first Strijder. Realizing what had happened, he picked up the sword he had also brought with him, and headed out for battle.

"He had become the first Guardian. He started to mow through the lines of Dami, and the other pale faces caught different Dami, gaining different abilities. Soon the Settlers had won, but the Dami had a knack for coming in at the worst times to haunt the Strijders. So it has been for generations, so it will continue for generations more."

There were a few claps that quickly died down to silence, when she looked around the room. The bell rang just after she said, "That is our history, so I hope you paid attention." My day was great, understandably.

The rest of the week passed by with nothing of note, and the Pack fell into a sort of routine. We would meet for lunch, eat up, and then break into groups to talk. Dimitri and I would go out onto the balcony and discuss the most random things, and then we would go as a Pack to our classes, which I was acing. After, we would go to the pool, the field, the auditorium, and just hang out. We would stay up late, and then get up in the morning wondering why we had just done that again. The process would start again, forming a complete cycle. And I started to forget the painful things in my past, and just live in the now. It was a first, and it was great.


	6. Bones

Chapter 6

One day, Dimitri and I decided to go to the dorm while our team went to the cafeteria. I had wanted to get to know him better, since we would, ideally, be leading the team together for the rest of our lives. We were laughing at something ridiculous Mia had said today as we walked up, but sobered as soon as we saw that our dorm door was ajar.

I motioned for him to open the door on my signal, so that I could get the jump on whoever had opened our door. I counted one, two, three, and then jumped forward. Dimitri swung the door open just in time for me to leap through the doorway. No one was in the living room, probably because their job was clearly done. The place was trashed. Lamps were shattered on the floor, the couch pillows were cut open and tossed around, and the couch itself was overturned across the room. Picture frames were shattered on the floor, but the pictures were nowhere to be seen. In the first week we had been here, we had made sure to take a couple of fun photos to hang around the place. Now some stranger was getting off on the sight of young girls. The thought sent a chill down my spine.

Dimitri came through the doorway after me, and whistled at the sight of our wrecked apartment. "You get the girls bed and bath, I'll get the guys." I nodded and walked off, clearing the closets and dressers as I went.

"All clear!" I shouted to Dimitri.

"Same here!" I was just wondering what kind of sick bastard would do this when I walked into the bathroom and froze.

Oh God, I needed to get Dimitri, but I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. I couldn't breathe. I needed to snap myself out of this, but I just couldn't do it. My lungs were about to burst when Dimitri finally came up behind me. "Rose? Rose? Rose, look at me!" But I couldn't do anything except point. Point, and silently scream.

His eyes moved up to the mirror, and for the first time he noticed the bloody message. I had found it 2 minutes ago, and the scary part was that it was still fresh. We had come home for lunch, and found the dorm in shambles. The place was trashed; the door was off its hinges, and now this in the bathroom.

I saw his eyes widen in shock and horror, and thought that was probably how my face looked. I needed to get out of here. I had to run. This note, this whole damned apartment was suddenly reminding me of someone that should've been forgotten long ago. The note read:

THORN,

YOU SHOULD HAVE COME; IT MIGHT HAVE SAVED YOU SOME OF THE PAIN. BUT I'M NICE, SO I'LL GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE. FIND ME, OR THE PEOPLE YOU CALL YOU'RE FRIENDS ARE GOING TO SUFFER.

-BONES

You see, Bones was Alex's old codename. We had shared info that no one else was meant to read by a system that I now thought was extremely immature. My codename had been Thorn, and his had been Bones. Everyone we knew had had different names as well, so that when teachers caught us passing notes, they and the rest of the class couldn't tell what we were talking about. But I knew exactly what this note meant, and it frightened me.

Alex had always been skeptical of everything, kind of like how I was skeptical of the whole religion thing. But as graduation grew closer and closer, his skepticism had moved onto more dangerous subjects…like how bad the Dami really were. No one questioned that, yet he had. He had even gone so far as to talk about leaving, of us going to them together. I had always thought he'd been joking, but after the incident, I blamed myself for not trying to talk him out of it.

So what the note really said was 'You should've come with me…come find me or I'll make your Pack pay'. Ya, kind of a depressing message. What was even more depressing was the thought that Alex had access to my dorm, and by relation, the school itself. This meant that he had somehow breached the Wall. He couldn't have gotten through underground, or just through the gate, and since there were no giant holes in the Wall, I knew that he hadn't broken _through_ the Wall. Which only left…the air?

I looked back at the door, and saw the answer. There was a dead dove, nailed to the door at eye level. He left it as a clue, I was sure. He must have _flown_ over the wall. Strijders had never had to worry about this before, because very few Dami ever killed a bird. Most of the time, the Dami had to kill it, and then drink the animal's blood. But birds never died easily, and when they did, there wasn't that much blood to drink. Unfortunately, this created a major crisis in the whole structure of the Institute. Going around, we tried as best we could to clean up, and were extremely thankful that none of our Pack members had been there at the same time as the attackers. Neither of us said anything, and we scoured the whole place. Dimitri and I found the same note in the guys' bathroom.

Once we had gotten everything back in order and recorded all of the items beyond help, we went down to the Judge's office. The secretary stopped us for a while, but after a bit of my, well, more _persuasive _attitude, she caved and let us in. We explained him to what we had found, and then he was sitting in front of us, with that same calculating expression I had seen at my Judgment.

"Oh, dear. Do either of you know anyone who would do this?" I told him my theory about the Dami birds, and his face got paler and paler as I spoke. "Well, we will order the replacements for any damage. The Administration will take care of this. You have nothing to worry about. In the mean time, I believe its 6th period is it not?" We nodded, and he sent us on our way.

Walking out of the offices, Dimitri and I conversed about what might happen because of the attack. "I mean, it's not like they'll just take this lying down. They'll have to put a roof in. I know it'll suck that we have to stop seeing the sky, but really what are they supposed to do? There's nothing else we can do." We arrived at the classroom we were assigned to, and the conversation was cut off suddenly. There was a silent agreement that no one besides our Pack would know.

"Oh, look. The lovebirds decided to join us. That's so nice of you, the big bad Guardians to grace us, the lowly class with your presence." Ugh. Mr. Fargh had a reputation for loving to torment students. Seriously, it was like his favorite pastime. I wondered what his kids (hypothetical obviously, the guy probably won't ever get married) would be like. Probably sullen and dead looking. "I saw that you were excused from your 5th period class, and I was just wondering what kind of activity would get you excused from class. You must have gotten in trouble, and the class is just dying to know what you've done to get in that much trouble." Ugh. Again. Nice guy isn't he?

Swallowing my fear, I said in my cheeky way, "We put snakes in your apartment. So, what did we miss?" I added the question as an afterthought while Dimitri and I took our seats. His eyebrows rose in anger, and it took him a minute to recover his snide air.

"Tell the truth. Or I'll be forced to give you a detention." He said it like he _wasn't _looking for an excuse to give me a detention, like it would be a tragedy for him to give me one. If I hadn't been so worried by the whole attack, I would've rolled my eyes.

But I _was_ worried, so when I rose from my seat, looked Fargh right in the eyes, and said "We were gone because we found our dorm ravaged at lunch, and had to clean up the whole damn place," I said it with a mix of anger and unresolved fear. I noticed my Pack members looking up from their desks with shock, and Fargh looking up with his nails in disgust.

"You two think that lie is going to cut it? Both of you have detention with me Saturday. If either of you is late, both of you will repeat the detention." The more mature, calmer side of me knew that there was no point in arguing. I mean, that would just prove his point. So I resigned myself to sit down. However, Dimitri didn't have the same intentions, which was evident when I saw his face light up in rage. To avoid any unnecessary conflict, I quickly said "Yes sir," And took the air right out of his balloon. He looked at me questioningly, as if to ask _why can't I hurt him?_ I shook my head, and he sat down, that fuming look still on his face.

We were clearly going to have an animated little chat after class, but right then, Dimitri and I had to sit through a lecture on the correct way to format a business letter. Ugh. Why was it that all of the mean teachers taught the driest subjects? I asked myself this question as we listened, and then my mind shifted to other topics. For the next hour, I played with the question of how to make Mr. Fargh pay. I could spurn him in the eyes of his peers, or I could go for the physical approach. Hmmm, but then I would have to take a secretive action, and stealth was so not my thing.

The bell rang, cutting my train of thought off. "It's not like I don't want to punch him in the neck as well, but it isn't wise to force a conflict that he clearly wants. Plus, I'm sure we can get Harks to clear up any questions Fargh might have." I said as we walked out into the halls. I knew that he knew that I had a point, but I could see in his eyes this fire, and knew what was burning his soul.

"You have the same anger. The same fire chasing you." The abashment in his eyes was the only conformation that I needed to go on. "You snap just as fast as me. Wow. I didn't think anyone could snap as fast as me." I was talking more to myself, but the shame on his face was too much, and I saw that he was looking away in order to prevent me from seeing his face. I knew he wanted me to stop, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop myself from rolling on. "But somehow, it's different from me. It's like you can't let go. When I snap, I go off like that." I snapped to show what 'that' was. "But you, you hold on to it. It's almost as if you like the feeling of that fuel in your stomach. You do don't you? You enjoy that invincible feeling. That feeling where you've forgotten what's stopping you."

Every time I spit out a sentence, a random stab in the dark, he confirmed it by little telltale signs. A twitch in his face, a slight tremor in his hands gave me the affirmation. "It's not good for you. I snap fast, but I at least put some effort in controlling it. I hate the feeling of losing control. That's what leads to darkness. To evil even. You need to let it go. Or you'll end up, like, like _him_." At that admission, Dimitri looked up at me in astonishment.

That shut him up, and we walked the rest of the way to History in silence. It was a lecture, and I took notes distracted by my comparison. I didn't think I would be able to handle it if he really did turn out like Alex. After class, Dimitri came up and apologized, and said he had come up with a proposal. If I would help him calm down when he got riled up, then he would calm me down too. I smiled, and agreed.

We walked the rest of the way back to the dorms, and where we found new furniture and an administrative slip:

"Two days from now, the Vote will begin. So train hard, and start to think of what you'll think. Immediately after you're Pack votes, the new leader will report to Judge Harks. Strive for excellence in everything you do."

Great. Because I really needed more pressure.


	7. Fights

Chapter 7

The next day was to be the vote. The vote that decided who would lead the pack for the rest of our lives, or until the leader died.

Dimitri and I were the only contestants, and there was some noise about the news. We were both loved, sure. I mean, Guardians were picked for their social flair too, not just their ability to hack at things. But I didn't know which of us was loved _more_.

The Vote was split into two parts. The first was a test, meant to show which of us was more competent in the field of battle and as a tactician. The second was a speech. Both Guardians tried to win over the Pack, and then they voted while the Guardians waited on the Balcony.

I was the better tactician, but he was the better fighter. The differences were only marginal, of course. But that difference could mean someone's life in the future. And as I already pointed out, we were equally social. So I guess it really depended on what the group valued more.

The note sent said that after the Pack had decided, the new leader was to report to Judge Harks to get a new keycard, one that let them through the gates and into the land beyond. The land of the privileged. They were allowed to leave campus on the weekends. Leaders also received better food, nicer clothes, and more amenities, like pools and movies. The leader's life was always more stressed, and the Adults tried to make up for that with privilege.

We went to class the day before, like it was any other day. But I could tell there was something different. All of the Guardians were hitting harder, focusing up, thinking more; they were trying to get any edge they could over their partner. I looked over at Dimitri, and realized that he saw the same sight. His gaze met mine, and there was a question in his eyes, one that asked _are we really going to compete like they are? _I shrugged as if to say _Why not?_

He smiled, and ran up to the wooden dummy he was supposed to be striking. We were practicing with swords right now, and he had a flair for it. Deftly, he spun his sword once, making what would have been a painful cut across the dummy's "arm". He then twisted to the side, as if dodging a blow and lunged at what I imagined was the opponents exposed side. He continued trading blows, and eventually, with a certain art, he decapitated the Dummy. Yes, he had a flair for it. But I could beat that.

I stepped up to mine, focused in, and blinked. What had been a wooden dummy was now a Dami, standing in front of me, a rearing bear. It stood eight feet tall, and I narrowed my eyes. Its claw came at me, a side swipe. To any human, it would have been a death blow. But to a Strijder, a Krijder even, it was clumsy. I ducked, and stepped forward into the bear's side, cutting it while I moved behind it, all the while taking graceful steps, avoiding, cutting, and swiping. It got to the point where its fur was matted with blood, and I was sweaty. The bear got angry, and charged with its remaining strength. I jumped as high as I could, tucked my legs, and flipped over the Bear/Dummy. I then turned, and in one fluid motion, took off its head. Sweating, I walked past Dimitri, murmuring in a voice almost inaudible, "Bring it on Comrade." He smiled and shook his head.

The rest of the day passed the same way, and before I knew it, we were at dinner, smiling and laughing over a nice lemon salmon dish that Abby had prepared. I blinked, and I was in my bed, everyone else asleep. But I couldn't fall asleep, couldn't get my muscles to relax. So I pulled myself out of bed, got on a robe, and walked out onto the balcony.

I stared up at the moon, wondering if that was the same moon that Alex saw wherever he was. Then my thoughts shifted to him completely, wondering where he was and what he was thinking.

It took me a while to realize that I wasn't alone on the balcony. Dimitri was there, looking amused as he watched me. "You know, spying isn't very nice."

He merely replied, "It's not spying if you're in plain sight." I shook my head and turned to go back inside. "Rose, wait." I paused and turned back to face him.

When I looked, I saw a completely serious face. He paused, like he hadn't expected me to stay. Then he thought for a moment, and I almost went inside.

Right when I was about to go back, he said in a quiet voice, "You know, I don't care whether or not I win. I just want our Pack to do well."

Surprise almost took over my features, but that wasn't what I was known for. So instead, I merely winked and said, "'Course, Comrade." Then I turned around and stepped back inside. I liked the name Comrade on him. I wasn't sure why. Maybe in a different time, in a different universe, he could have been a cowboy.

I slept peacefully after that, and smiled when I woke up, a ray of light peeking through the blinds covering the balcony. And then I remembered what today was and sighed. Oh well, better to get it over with early.

On the days of the Vote, the Guardians went to normal classes, but unlike normal days, the rest of the Pack came with them to evaluate each of the Guardians. This would explain why the rest of the girls were out of bed and apparently dressed for the day. I got up, and dressed in my favorite black skinny jeans and lacy red tank top.

Just as I was pulling on my cappuccino-brown boots, Lissa walked in. "Hey I just wanted to, you know wish you good luck and all that. I hope you do well." I nodded and smiled, but she knew that it was a fake smile, and gave me a pat on the back before walking out. I parted my hair really quickly, and then followed suit.

First up was conditioning. I was the faster runner, but Dimitri could bench press more weight. Again, the difference was tiny. We went through our usual routine, and the Pack took notes.

Next was Leadership theory, where we took a test and the Pack got to see our results and what questions we had gotten wrong. Both Dimitri and I got a perfect score, making us smile.

During Martial Arts, Dimitri and I sparred with each other. We both landed a couple of solid blows, but in the end, I was the one that got knocked down. So far the score board read Dimitri 1, Rose 0. I would have to get him back.

And that happened in Weapons Training, when we had a free for all session. We were placed on a field with a bunch of weapons, and were told to defeat our opponents, in this case each other. The weapons were real, but they expected us to stop before anyone was seriously injured. I picked up a sword, and waited for him to attack. He had chosen a two handed axe, his best weapon.

As he charged, I saw a playful glint in his eyes. Like this was just a game but no body else knew. I smiled, and when he was almost to me, I stepped out of the way. "Come at me bull, and meet your match." I said when he missed. He laughed, and then charged again. This time, I stepped out of the way and gave him a push. He stumbled onto one foot, which he planted and used to push back towards me.

I was expecting this though, and was able to side step again. This time I took a swipe, cutting his dominant hand. It wasn't a deep cut, but it was going to scar, and cuts on your main arm _always_ hurt. A lot. He breathed in deep, and I knew he felt it. But he smiled, and we began to circle each other.

Every time he struck at me, I parried. And every time I jabbed, or sliced, he blocked. This process went on for a while, until I finally decided to make a move. But he made it first. He leapt into the air and in a perfect imitation of me, tucked his legs and flipped over me. He then turned and struck. Into thin air.

The thing is, that was my move, and I knew how to counter it. As he had gone over me, I had turned with him, so that as soon as he landed, I had slid underneath him through his legs, with timing such as that he didn't see me in front of him. I gracefully came out of my slide, kicked him in the back of the knee to incapacitate him, and then pushed him over. When he felt my sword point on his neck, he surrendered. Both of us were breathing hard, but my breath was that of a winner.

I turned and went back to the locker rooms, like it was nothing. Meanwhile, he was still laying there, tying to figure out how I had done that. The Pack members, and the rest of the Guardians for that matter, were applauding my move. I smiled and dressed out. Time to deal with the speech that I hadn't written or practiced. Fun.


	8. Vote

Chapter 8

After lunch, all freshmen were excused from class. We were supposed to go to our dorms, and give our speeches, then let the Pack decide who to choose. So we went to the dorm. Dimitri and I sat on the loveseat that I had first seen him in, and the rest of the Pack sat facing us, waiting for one of us to o first.

Dimitri stood up, and cleared his throat. "My family, for that is what I consider you after this past month; a family. Today you have the tough decision of deciding whether it will be Rose or I who leads us in battle, and in life. In this decision, I suggest that you remember our ancestors. Our great ancestors made decisions that led us to get to where we are today. They weren't always the right ones, but they led us to achieve greatness. We started as a colony, and are now a worldwide race. What was once a speck on the radar of civilization now blots out the screen. So I ask only that you think of them, and make the right decision. Trust your heart, go with your gut, and lead with your instinct. Make the right decision." He nodded and sat back down.

The Pack clapped as was appropriate, and then looked at me expectantly. I got up, wondering why Dimitri had phrased his speech like that, so as to frame us as equals. Then I shook myself, preparing for the speech I was about to give. "History shows that female Guardians, though few, have shaped our society, our world today. It was Elena the Great who once said that if women stayed home all the time, humankind would be dead today. Women are vital in society. They are the link in the Circle of Life, the leaders of the family, and, I hope, the Leaders of the Pack. I hope that you follow Dimitri's advice. Trust your heart, go with your gut, and lead with your instinct. Choose me." They clapped, and after we had each marked down our votes on a chalkboard (we both voted for ourselves), we were excused.

Stepping onto the balcony, sighed. That had been tough. I wasn't really a good speaker, or at least not a god speech maker. So the speech had taken me nearly 2 weeks to write out. Dimitri came up beside me at the railing, looking out across the land that I was too spaced out to really see. "You did great." He said it lightly, like it was still all a joke.

I turned on him, frustrated at his lack of concern. "This is our _life_ at stake here. And you seem to be taking everything like one huge joke. Well I have news for you. It's not funny!" I immediately regretted my outburst, and took deep, calming breaths.

But he seemed unfazed. "Does it really matter which of us leads? We're equally matched. We both have our assets, sure. But we'll both do a good job. So they can't go wrong. That's why I didn't say anything about them making me the leader. I have complete faith that you'll do just as good of a job." I was taken by surprise, and felt bad for not thinking of it.

We were quiet for a while then. "Here take my jacket." He offered his motorcycle jacket to me, apparently having noticed my shivers. It was cold in the mountains at this time of day. I accepted, grateful, and slipped it on. The jacket had a pleasant aroma, like a forest that just got rain. I smiled at him, and he seemed to relax a little.

I turned to him, thinking about the balcony last night. "Dimitri, I-" Jean walked up right then. She really did have the worst timing.

"Hey you guys, we made our decision." I nodded, and gave back the jacket. I didn't want to, but I did. It would look bad if I walked in with his jacket on. He looked like he didn't want to get it back either. Weird.

They were gathered up, and when we both sitting on the loveseat again, they showed us the chalkboard. The board showed the tally marks that symbolized a vote. I quickly counted them. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. That meant that Dimitri only had 4. Which meant- I smiled and stood up. "Thank you guys so much. I realize it was a really close call. And I just wanted to let you know that I'll do my best to give our Pack the best survival chance."

Dimitri stood up, standing within centimeters of me. "With me at your side of course." I blushed, and stammered. Then I realized what he meant, and felt stupid. Of course he would be the Co-Leader. If I was the alpha, then he was the beta. I gave up and just nodded. The rest of my Pack laughed, and I sighed.

"Got to go." I said as I made for the door. Time for me to go see Judge Harks. I practically skipped all the way to his office. Rose Hathaway was a leader. I smiled again.

I was expecting a wait, but the hallway was empty. Either my Pack was really late, or really early. The Secretary let me into his office, and I sat down with a sense of déjà vu. The chair turned around, and Harks smiled. "How am I not surprised?" He asked the question with an air of haughtiness, like he was always right. I decided then that I didn't really care much for Judge Harks. Oh well. You weren't supposed to like your boss. I smiled tightly, and looked expectantly at him.

"Of course, you are expecting your new I.D. card, which is," He rummaged around on his very messy desk, finally producing a small plastic card, identical to the one that I already had. "Right here." He handed it to me, and I stood up, thinking it was over.

"Rose, sit down. I have not excused you yet." I sighed. Administrators. Ugh. He also handed me two papers. One of them was a new schedule for me. It had a new class that replaced Leadership Theory. It was called Tactical Maneuver. It was taught by Mr. Marken, who also taught Leadership Theory.

The second paper was Dimitri's new schedule. It also had a new class, called Social Manipulation. It taught the Betas how to network, as they were to become a sort of Communicator with the rest of the world. Dimitri would do well in that field, I knew. With the papers and my new card, I set out the door, a smile on my face.

When I passed by the stables, I felt a strong urge to go inside. I had always connected well with horses, and stepping inside, I heard a choir of whinnies. I smiled, and went to find my favorite horse. Blackjack was a black Azteca male, with a white stripe on his head. He was a very agile horse, and always listened to me. Blackjack was my horse. So I cleaned out his stable, gave him water and food, and then curled up and watched him eat. His calm demeanor had me drifting between sleep and reality before long, and I gratefully let myself fall away.

I awoke to the sound of scared horses and the smell of burning wood. Looking around, I saw that the stables were on fire. Fate just always had a way of ruining my days. Sigh.


	9. Battle

Chapter 9

The first thing I heard was the crackling of burning wood, and the stamps of hoofs on stall doors. My instinct kicked in, and I opened the burning door in front of me, ignoring the pain it caused. I put my hand out, and then ran to the supply closet. Grabbing the thickest horse blanket I could and wrapped myself like a burrito. I then ran low to the ground and burst through the crumbling wood, leading the horses out one by one after that.

By the time I was finished, I was deaf, dumb, and blind. I noticed a big crowd right after I came out with the last horse. A muddled figure came forward, and I collapsed gratefully into their arms, coughing out smoke and slipping into darkness.

The darkness opened up, but not to the sterile hospital room i thought i would see. Instead, i found myself standing on a cliff, thousands of feet above the ground. The air was red, matching the color of the cliff, and filled with smoke. To either side of me, there were piles of bodies. Clearly, i was having a nightmare. Then I noticed the throne behind me. it was built upon the dead bodies, which was disgusting and sickeneing. But the worst part, by far, was seeing Alex sitting on it, ruling over his dominion of death. He was laughing, a low chuckle. I looked around, trying to focus on something else. That's when i saw who the bodies were. The throne was on top of my mother, father, and brother. He had killed all of them. I knew this, but it was still hard to swallow. So i did the only thing i could think of to get me out of the dream; i turned and ran straight off the cliff.

I came to with a start. I was in a white bed, dressed in a white gown, laying on white sheets and a white pillow. I wanted to blow my brains out. Until I saw Dimitri, sleeping in the chair at the wall closest to my bed. Then I smiled and blushed.

"Why are you blushing?" I looked towards the other wall and saw Kylie, Nick, Lissa, and Abby looking at me curiously. Then I blushed even harder.

"No reason, probably just the medication." Abby, Kylie, and Nick all accepted this without a second thought. Lissa, on the other hand, waggled her eyebrows over their shoulders, again. I sighed, and asked, more to myself, "What happened to me?"

Of course, Kylie didn't get that, and answered, "Well, you saved all of the horses from the stable fire, which was really cool and brave, and then you stumbled out, coughing and saying something like, 'Blackjack'. You fell right into Dimitri's arms, and then he carried you all the way here. All the girls were totally jealous. All of the horses have been caught and are safe. Everyone thought it was really heroic. What were you doing there anyways?"

"Oh you know, just visiting my horse. So where are they now?" I was still cursing myself for feinting and missing being carried here by Dimitri, but I tried not to show it.

"They have a sort of temporary stable right now. Judge Harks gave you a medal or something and then said that the new stables would be built by next week." I nodded, and then spotted the medal she was talking about.

It was a small gold medallion on a simple silver chain, reading: Bravery in the face of enemy fire. Kind of ironic I know. But hey, when things work out, you don't question it. So I slipped it over my head and tucked the medallion into my shirt. It was oddly warm, and I was grateful.

We chatted until a nurse came in with sign-out sheets a couple of minutes later. The plus side of having medical healers was never having to worry about long recoveries. Once I was dressed and ready, we set off. It was early the next morning, so I wasn't going to miss any of my new classes. Which turned out to be awesome.

Tactical class was amazing. In leadership Theory, the attention had always been split between communication skills and tactical maneuver. I had always felt unchallenged by the other students. They only ever made the obvious, teacher approved moves. They never took any risks, which made them predictable and easy to defeat.

But in Tactical Class, I was able to really push myself, thinking up new ways to do things that had already been done 15 different ways. It was exhilarating, and I thrived. After two days of this, it was clear that I was the best. We were informed then that Battles would start next week.

Battles were fights between the Packs. It was a one-on-one war. Each Pack was given an assignment, an objective that they had to complete, and made aware of what the other team's goal was. The goal could be anything, from capturing a flag to capturing a person, to infiltrating and destroying a building. The list was endless. The Alpha of the Pack (that's me) had to plan a defensive and offensive strategy, and then tell their Pack how to execute it. The first Pack to accomplish their goal was declared the winner. The more enemies that you took out, the higher your rank went.

The wins and losses of Battles were recorded, and shown to the rest of the school on a giant scoreboard in the Cafeteria. Standings and ranks were based off of the Battles. Battles gave a purpose to the school, and the students treated rankings like a religion. Your rank made or broke your reputation in the eyes of the students, and even some teachers. I intended to be the best.

Naturally, when the class was told about the Battles, there was groaning and grumbling. They weren't ready. But I was, and so the next week passed in a flash. Monday morning, I jumped out of bed like a Pop-Tart from a toaster. We all went through class like normal, since we had a Night Fight, or a Battle held while it was dark. The minute classes were over, I made the Pack go back to the dorms to rest before the Battle. They would need their strength.

The Night Fight was scheduled for eight o'clock. At seven thirty, I led the Pack to the Arena, a huge stadium on the West side of the campus. I checked in with the Referee, Coach Dargan, to receive the Battle information. Our goal was to capture the opposing Pack's Alpha, Pierce Henderson. And they were supposed to capture me. This was going to be fun. Dargan gave me a map of the field and sent me on my way.

My mind raced as I explored the map. It would be completely dark, with only moonlight to see by. The terrain was mostly forest, with a river running through the middle and little clearings dotted throughout the Arena. So minimal visibility and maximum chance of getting lost. There was a camp on either side of the river, where we were supposed to take the captive to end the game. A thought popped into my head, and I ran back to my team.

I quickly showed them the map and explained my idea. They all agreed with my plan, trusting my judgment. "So Kylie, you'll be with me, Dimitri with Nick. Sam you're with Abby, Matt, you're with Lissa. That leaves Jean with Paul. Is everyone clear on the plan?" They nodded, and took off for their positions just as Coach yelled "The Battle has begun!"

Kylie and I started walking through the forest, in the vague direction of our position. We never got too close to the rest of the Pack, but we went as close as we could without disturbing the plan. Before long, I heard the metallic clang of weapons, followed by screams of pain. The fight had officially begun.

We continued wandering, alert and tensing at any sign of movement. After about 15 minutes of aimless walking, we stepped out into a clearing. A couple of leaves rustled, and I immediately drew the short sword that I had chosen, and Kylie notched an arrow. I motioned for her to hide in a tree. Just after she was hidden, Pierce stepped out of the trees and into the clearing. He appeared alone, but so did I.

Seeing me, he tensed. "You know that I have to take you to the camp right?" What a stupid question. Of course I knew. Idiot. But I merely said, "If you can." He looked around nervously, and I almost laughed. He'd brought a friend, but I wasn't concerned. How had he become an Alpha?

He drew the spear that he was holding, and I was almost impressed. Few were able to master the strength of a spear, and this proved to be true. He was gripping it too tightly, locking up his muscles and limiting his mobility. This would be easy. The inevitable fight ensued, and within a minute I had my sword point at his throat. "You know that I have to take you to the camp right?" I mimicked him.

Then, at the front of my throat, I felt the cold bite of metal. It was a Dief. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." His breath shifted the hairs on the back of my neck, and I shivered. As he took my sword, I scanned the trees. Kylie was nowhere to be found.

They walked me through the forest, and over the river. As we walked, my eyes darted around, searching the trees. Where was my Pack? When the enemy camp was within sight, I sighed. My risk hadn't been worth it. I should've known not to come out of the camp.

A movement to the right caught my eye. It was subtle, but my eyes were trained. Suddenly, Paul and Sam flew out of the tree above us, landing on either side of the Dief. Then Matt and Abby stepped out of the surrounding trees, helping subdue him. Lissa was healing any and all of their wounds. Dimitri then dropped right in front of Pierce, who had stopped in his tracks. He turned, about to run, only to find the twins behind and to the side of him, bows raised with arrows notched. We had him.

Dimitri stepped forward. "Dief 1 and Genezer 1 eliminated." He said it smugly, and I fought a smile. Next was Sam, who said quietly, "Jaeger 1 and Guardian Beta neutralized." Then Paul, "Jaeger 2 and Heks 1, out cold." Matt coughed. "Heks 2 and Genezer 2 unconscious." And then Kylie skipped up. "Dief 2 subdued, Guardian Alpha captured." I nodded, pleased.

Then I turned back to Pierce, whose jaw was on the ground. "You set me up!" I smiled at him. "Told you that you couldn't take me in. Time to go big boy." With that, my Pack formed a tight ring around him, and walked him back to our camp. When he was inside the door, Coach Dargan blew his whistle. "Pack 2 wins!"

That night we celebrated, staying up until 4 am. We partied, and part way through the night, beer appeared. I took a cup, but drank none of it. If I only got 1 hour of sleep that night, I would be hung over enough. I didn't need beer on top of that.

After about two hours, I looked around and noticed that Dimitri wasn't there. I crept toward the balcony, and stood there silently. Dimitri was sitting there, strumming an acustic guitar and singing:

Steady hands just take the wheel

Every glance is killing me

Time to make one last appeal

For the life I lead

Stop and stare

I think I'm moving but I go nowhere

Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared

But I've become what I can't be, oh

Stop and stare

You start to wonder why you're here not there

And you'd give anything to get what's fair

But fair ain't what you really need

Oh can you see what I see?

I took a sharp intake of breath. I had never heard him sing, and he was amazing. He stopped and looked around, clearly hearing my breath. "You know, spying isn't very nice."

I recalled our night on the balcony, and replied, "It's not spying if you're in plain sight." He smiled, and patted the chair next to him. I sat, and he started strumming again. We sang next two hours away, until we had to go to sleep or we wouldn't be able to function tomorrow. It was pleasant.


	10. October

Chapter 11

Our first month of high school was officially over a few days later, and we celebrated with a day in town (Once a month the high school kids were allowed off campus to shop for clothes and such). We played, had fun, laughed a lot, and pretty much just bonded. It was like a clichéd, cheap day in a bad family movie. Which, knowing my karma, had to be ruined. So of course right when Dimitri and I are having a moment (the clichéd type where we both reach for the same thing at the same time and our hands touch for a few seconds longer than necessary) , she comes into the store and says, very loud, "OMG it's my bestie, Rose!"

Let me tell you something right now. We were not besties. Over the weeks, we had name calling, rumor spreading, and general typical girly-behind-your-back-cattiness. So when she said this, she was being over sarcastic and letting her disgusting perfume spread over everyone like a gas cloud. I told her so, and she stormed out of the store with a huff.

Dimitri was across the store by this time (he didn't like to get involved), and the moment had been totally shattered. All thanks to Mia and her bitch gene. I'm not saying I don't have one, because believe me, I do. But I'm not _that_ bitchy all the freaking time. Seriously, it was like she was permanently PMSing.

Other than that, October went great. My team had one all of its battles, putting us at the top of the standings. We had gotten better at flowing together, due partly to the practices that I held, and partly to the experience and bonding going on. All of us were gaining new skills, the most important part being the addition of two new members to our Pack. The twins had each gotten a pet to tame and then train to do battle. Right now they couldn't fight because they weren't trained well enough, but Kylie said that her bear (that's right, she had a bear) Bowser would be ready by the end of October. Nick said that his wolf, Boo, would be ready around the same time. I intended to use them well. We had battles once or twice a week, adding up to a total of 5 battles by the middle of the fourth week. We only had one more battle that month, but it was a big one.

At the end of each month, the top four packs in every class had a sort of mini tournament, as a test of what we had learned. We had already made it through the first round, and were going into the finals tomorrow. Kylie and Nick both agreed that their pets would be ready by then.

It was a day battle, something that no one was very accustomed to, but no one was complaining. When everyone was ready and in one of the planning rooms at either side of the Arena, I went to get the map and our assignment. Coach Dargan was completely stone faced when I asked him about the weather, so I just shrugged, took my paperwork, and went back to the room.

Our objective was to destroy the enemy's base after retrieving the data (flag) and then returning safely with the flag to our base. Simple enough. Their objective was to 'kill' all of us before we got the device and destroyed the base. Also simple. The map was set up so that our base was a hidden camp somewhere in the area (their map never told them exactly wher they were, and we were never told exactly where they were), and theirs was an elaborate fortress. The field on there side was completely open, with short, trimmed grass, and our side had thick forest in which we hid. I had a plan in my head already, bu knew that they weren't going to like it very much.

The battle started, the whistle was blown, but there was no movement whatsoever from either side. My plan was simple: we were going to wait them out, 'kill' them all, and then take the flag and destroy the flag, maximizing our points.

It happened slowly, over hours and hours. Most of the audience left by the time we had killed their third member, and were now watching the filmed version in their dorms on the T.V all Packs were issued. It had been five hours when we finally killed their fifth member. After another two hours, when no one had emerged, I realized that they were going to try to wait it out. They couldn't afford any more deaths when, to the best of their knowledge, we still had everyone alive. We did, and I called everyone into the biggest tent in our camp. It was time to act. I sent out Sam and Paul to infiltrate the east side of the base while Dimitri, Nick, Abby, and Jean attacked the west side, and Kylie, Matt, Lissa, and I provided the big bang on the front door.

We moved out, Dimitri and my groups charging loudly while Sam and Paul went slowly and cautiously. Dimitri's group got to their side first, and we heard shouts of surprise when they made the first attacks on the building. "Alright guys. Our only objective right now is to be louder than them." They all nodded in agreement, and we went full force at the door. Matt propelled me to the top while Bowser attacked the door, and Kylie and Lissa backed us all up. Once on top, I found that the building had no roof. I smiled, jumped down, and had made two kills before even opening the door for my friends. We had rounded them all up, killed them, checked in with the Diefs, and trashed the place beyond recognition within an hour.

It had been the longest battle so far, but we had won. We celebrated, and Dimitri and I again met on the balcony when the beer appeared, playing music. The next day was the big Halloween Party, and everyone was giddy with anticipation. They separated the classes by grade, and then put them in different quadrants of the school. Each part was filled with mazes, horrors, ghouls to chase you, and of course, carnival games and food stands.

In fact, the only thing that felt wrong throughout the month of October was a sensation slowly building in my gut, like something big was about to happen. But nobody else knew what I was talking about, so I tried to dismiss the thoughts.


	11. Halloween

Chapter 12

I looked in the mirror, trying to tame my hair. Kylie called, "Are you ready yet? You've been in there for, like, ever." I yelled back coming, finally yanked all of the knots out, and then ran quickly by my nightstand for my little EnV 2 phone.

Tonight was the big party, and everyone was freaking out with anticipation. No one at our school dressed up in costume; everyone had a school issued one. For formal events Packs were required to wear special uniforms (color was the Guardians' choice, thank god) that showed who they were. The uniforms also came with individual badges to show what the Pack and individual had accomplished. Our Packs had deep, forest green ones, and wore two awards that no one else had. One of them was the tournament winner sash, which we got to keep until next month when we had to compete for them again. The other was a shiny medal bragging to everyone else that we were the only undefeated Pack in the books.

My personal uniform also came with an Alpha badge, a fancy short sword to show my authority, a patch showing my Klasse, and another patch showing my year. I was proud of how sharp my Pack looked in their uniforms, and once we were all assembled, I directed them to the Auditorium. Before the actual party, all of the years gathered for a big Banquet, which was held every month as a sort of celebration for the tournament. That was why we had to wear the fancy suits.

Once their, we realized that we were one of the last Packs to arrive. We also realized that we had special seats. Because we were the freshman tournament winners, we sat at a table positioned at the head of the Auditorium. The different year winners were all sitting there as well. I found out that I was supposed to give a speech when the pleasant Judge Harks started announcing the other winner's Guardians. He then announced Dimitri, who was supposed to give a speech and then hand the mic to me. I stood up in awkward silence, and then coughed once or twice. I said a few words that came to mind, and then sat back down to scattered claps.

The rest of the dinner was bearable, with minimal awkwardness considering the fact that I was sitting at a fancy dinner with a sword at my hip. Soon we were released to our parties, and everyone was laughing and playing around. We were sufficiently scared by all of the mazes, and decided that they were not for us when Jean broke down sobbing. She was comforted, and then we all went to the big room where the dance floor and music was.

It wasn't really party music, but all of us knew how to Waltz and ballroom dance, so it wasn't a problem. I danced with Nick, Sam, and Matt (ew), before I finally ended up in the arms of Dimitri. We twirled around the room, and danced far longer than any of the other couples. I had just settled in on his shoulder for a slow dance, when an old face caught my eye. I froze, and Dimitri stepped on my feet. He apologized frantically for about two seconds before he realized that I had barley noticed. Following my gaze, he saw an empty corner.

"Rose? What's wrong? Did I miss a step or something?" He asked the question jokingly, but got a little more worried when I didn't respond. "Hello? Rose?" He waved his hand in front of my face, and I broke free of my memories.

"No ya, I'm fine. Just uh, just thought I saw someone I recognized. Everything's fine." I got him to stop worrying, and then we started dancing again. The memory was soon gone, erased by Dimitri's smooth dancing, and we danced the next 2 hours away.

"Do you wanna go somewhere?" Dimitri asked uncertainly. And then there he was again. Alex had just ran, turned to face me, and ran through the next room. This time I wasn't going to let him get away. I blitzed, knocking Dimitri on his ass in the process. But I didn't ask him if he was okay, because all I wanted was to catch, literally, the one that got away.

I lost him in the crowd outside, but spotted him a little while longer by running in a straight line. We ran, I chasing him, all the way to the forest near the west wall in two minutes. There, I lost him in the darkness. I was creeping around, trying not to trip while still keeping my senses alert for his first misstep.

And then there he was, behind me, his arm around me in a choke hold. "You know, Thorn. I could choke the life right out of you now, and then just leave. No one would find you, and I could finally get you off of my damn mind. But I'm going to be nice. I'm going to let you come with me. Isn't that nice?" I kicked him in the shin, suprising him and loosening his grip. I twisted out of it, jumped forward into a front flip with a twist, so that I was facing him again.

Except that he wasn't there. And his arm enclosed my neck once again, this time with his legs spread firmly apart so that I had nothing to kick at. "Nice move! You really have improved, you know that? They've trained you well, brainwashed you, and even tailored you into a nice little Alpha. What great people!" So he had noticed the outfit. He could've had this, could've celebrated with me, maybe even made Alpha himself. But he left, and threw it all away. I would have told him so, but I was currently being strangled, and as a result had lost my speech capabilities.

He heard me gurgle, trying to talk, and loosened up just enough to the point where I could breathe. I got in two breaths before he kicked me in the back of the knee, causing me to fall to the ground, my legs going dead beneath me. He turned me around, and layed me out on the ground. "What a shame that you would throw away my kindness. Now I guess I'll have to leave you to your mother's fate." With that, I saw him transform slowly, sickeningly, into a mountain lion. He fell to the ground, sprouted a tail, grew fur, and shed his clothes. The cat in front of me growled viciously, showing 2 rows of sharp, pointy teeth. Just when I was about to run, finally snapped out of my paralyzed state, he pounced on me. I cried out when his claws made contact with my chest, quickly tearing away cloth and skin. His mouth opened, and he bit down, hard, on my left wrist. I again cried out in agony, my body twisting and bucking in pain. He was thrown off me, and only then I remembered the sword at my hip.

I drew it, and faced him, circling. My arm was spewing warm, sticky blood fast, and I knew that I was going to faint soon. So when he pounced, I side stepped, and then used all of my strength to swipe at him. I cut his side, and he fell to the floor. He transformed back into a human, curled up on the floor. The last thing I remembered before I fell again into the blackness was a noise, and his figure getting up and disappearing into the darkness. I had let him get away. Again.


	12. Cliffs

Chapter 13

I woke up for the second time that month in a hospital bed, surrounded by white. I looked over at the wall where Kylie and them had been, but saw only empty chairs. Looking out the window, I saw that I had either recovered very quickly or very slowly. Then I saw that although Kylie and them weren't there, Dimitri was staring at me from the same exact chair he had been sitting in.

"Hey." I said weakly. Then I got a little embarrassed. Who said hey after being found unconscious in a forest in the middle of the night? Only idiots like me.

He smiled and said, "Hey, yourself. You really gave us a scare this time. Not that emerging from a burning building with third degree burns isn't scary, but you know. What happened?"

"Um…I saw an old friend, we had a little bit of a fight, and then I feinted." His eyebrow was cocked in a way that I had always wanted to do but could never pull it off.

"So you got a giant bite mark from what, falling?" I nodded, and his eyebrow went even farther up. He knew I was lying, but not why. I didn't know either. I just wasn't ready to betray Alex. I still believed that he could somehow be saved. "And the punctures to your chest? Those were from really sharp rocks?" I nodded again, looking away this time, and he sighed. "You know, we're going to face a lot more than this in the real world. I need to know that I can trust you to tell me the truth. So I'll ask one more time. Is there anything that you want to tell me?" I shook my head this time, and he let out another long sigh.

"Fine Rose, whatever. It's your business. Just know that you don't have to do it alone." With that, he got up and left. I thought for a while. I wanted to tell him, but at the same time, how could I? _Oh ya, by the way. My ex-best friend who's a Dami found and attacked me last night, threatening to kill me. But don't worry, I just feinted._ Oh ya, that would just go great. So I kept my mouth shut, checked out, and went on with my day.

I had only been out for about two hours, so I woke up with plenty of time to get to classes, again. The word that Rose Hathaway had been found unconscious in the forest in the middle of the night spread quickly, and rumors quickly appeared as to what had happened. I just tried to ignore it, but my famous temper flared up when a chubby boy in my math asked if it was because the guy I had been with last night, Dimitri, had 'hit it and quit it'. I punched him in the face, hard enough to knock him into and over the next person, so that he was lying where the person had just been scribbling down the notes.

Naturally, I was sent to Harks' office, which was extremely uncomfortable. His gaze was on me for a long time, until he finally said, "What made you so frustrated? When I Judged you I didn't think that you would snap so quickly."

I looked straight ahead, past his annoyingly calculating face, clamped my jaw, and answered through my teeth, "He claimed that I slept with my Beta, and then my Beta left me there." His face turned into one of a grimace, and then said in a stern voice, "While that is aggravating, you, as an Alpha, shouldn't let it affect you. Go on now, and I don't want to hear about this. Your punishment is dealing with the rumor yourself. If I hear that you have used threats or violence to deal with it, you will automatically serve three weeks of detention. Dismissed." I got up, turned around, and left. I didn't have to deal with that bull shit.

When I had finished storming down the hall and out the door (which I slammed), I realized that I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to be here, but I didn't want to really talk to anybody. So I decided to go visit Blackjack.

He was waiting for me, perfect and strong. He shook his mane and whinnied, calming down when I petted him and gave him a carrot. I then proceeded to clean his stable, give him a wash, clean his hooves, and was just about to saddle him up when Dimitri walked in. Of course by now I looked like the classic clichéd horse girl. My hair was pulled back into a pony, my plaid flannel had the sleeves rolled up to my elbows and was unbuttoned to reveal my grey undershirt, and my jeans were very slightly dirty with sweat and mud. Then I realized I was self conscious about these things, and mentally slapped myself. He was my Beta after all.

"Where were you? I had to run practice without you." Oh ya. I had forgotten about that. Oh well. I told him that I had been busy and motioned to Blackjack. He sighed, rolled his eyes, and then, as if deciding not to be angry, said, "Do you ride often?"

"When I can. But he's a good horse, so he often gets ridden by beginners learning to ride." I nuzzled him affectionately, and Dimitri walked up to pet him. Blackjack licked him, and I laughed. "He likes you. Then again, his judgment isn't very good."

"Oh you just think you're so funny don't you?"He said it playfully, so I nodded, and he laughed. I joined in, and for a while we just talked. He was of course a transfer student, but his old school had had more of an equestrian program. When he moved here they wouldn't let him bring his horse, Bruno. His dad had died when he was little, and his mom wasn't around. I didn't push the subject, and we didn't talk about it much. I told him about my situation, which was ironically the opposite of his. I told him how I had been here since I was born, and that my mom had been killed on the job (I left out the part about it being my best friend) and my dad had never been around for us. He asked when, and I was forced to answer awkwardly, "Over the summer."

"I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it must be hard. I never really knew my folks, so I guess it's not as bad. I bet you miss her."

"Everyday." I said, and he put his hand on mine, which was petting Blackjack. My hand froze, and then I said, "Well, I better get going if I want to get a run in before sundown." He broke off, looked at the ground, and then replied, "Um ya. You go do that. I'll make sure the Pack does their homework and what not." I nodded, and turned away to finish the saddle. He took this as a queue to leave, and over my shoulder I saw him go with a sigh.

I decided that instead of the normal lap around the outskirts of campus, I would go and explore the mountainous areas on campus. Blackjack was a master in the art of hopping over trees, and we quickly navigated the forest area. The ground slowly grew into a hill, which grew into a slope, where I had to get off and lead Blackjack for a little bit. But we made our way to an upper level, and the ground leveled out. Looking around, I saw that there was a cliff at the edge. It had a perfect view of the campus and beyond, and was stable enough to walk on. I tested it out, always ready to jump back to the stable part when it got unstable. It was like the balcony but 50 times better, so I decided to sit down and think for a little bit.

Alex was very clearly serious about the whole bringing me back thing, so I had to keep my guard up around him. And as far as I was concerned, if I got Dimitri involved then it meant getting the Pack involved, which meant distracting them and letting more people into my bubble than it was ready for. So for the time being, Alex's secret was safe with me.

Then there was the whole topic of Dimitri. There was definitely something between Dimitri and me, but it wasn't anything that I could act on. So that left Matt (ewe), Nick (eh), Paul (NO), and Sam (I don't think he would ever pay attention to me) as my prospects for boyfriends. I sighed and decided that for right now, I wasn't going to get involved with any guys. It was probably better for me to focus on school anyways.

That brought up school, and I realized that as well as I was doing, every win was building pressure, like if I messed up, no one would forgive me. They all respected me so much, but it was like the better I got, the less I was their friend and the more they expected of me. The more it was like a business instead of a friendship. But there was nothing that I could do about that, so I just let it go, and decided to stuff that emotion inside a sock deep in my skeletal closet.

By the time I got up, the sun was setting, and I was totally and completely relaxed. I decided that twice a week, I would come up here and unwind. It felt good. I took Blackjack back to the stables, and for the first time in a long while, I slept through the night. There were no nightmares, dreams about what was or what could've been. There was only peace and calm and quiet.


	13. Wednesdays

Chapter 14

My Wednesday sucked. To start it off, I had to skip breakfast to blow dry my hair because my alarm clock didn't go off. Dargan made us run laps in the track in the rain without any jackets, so my hair was immediately soaked. Then, while running from conditioning to Tactical Theory, I passed Mia in the halls. She saw that I was freezing and drenched, and was kind enough to oh so sweetly _dump her burning coffee on me._ I was running so late that I didn't have time to dump her in the trash where she belonged. I promised myself that I would have my revenge later, and then arrived, late, smelling of coffee, and drenched, to me tactics class.

I had pop quizzes in nearly all of my classes (I aced them all but still I mean really), and when I tried to go get Blackjack to go to the cliff, I found that they were moving the horses to the nw stables, so I wasn't allowed to see them. I went to the movies, hoping to use my Alpha in to help my mood. It didn't. The movie sucked and I wanted the money that I didn't pay back. I sat fuming, waiting for my Pack to get back from wherever the hell they were. Then I thought about what day it was, looked at the clock, and remembered that we had practice five minutes ago. I sighed, got up, changed and went to miss them.

Dimitri and I had started to condition them before every practice, and they were still warming up when I got there. I jumped in the front of the line, blew through all of the exercises, and then spent the next hour trying to explain to Matt that in order to effectively gel with the group, he had to learn their fighting styles and then be able to judge what spell would best help them in battle. For example, if they were an up close fighter, like myself, setting them on fire wouldn't be good, because it would set me on fire as well. For the end of practice I split everyone up into partners and then pitted them against each other. I fought with Matt against Dimitri and Abby. I had just taken out Abby (I had knocked Dimitri back for a moment) and had just tackled Dimitri when he spontaneously burst into flames. He yelled, and I had Abby put him out, and then Lissa heal him. I then rounded on Matt, who was sitting on the floor, looking ashamed but angry.

"What the hell were you thinking? That was literally exactly what I told you not to do. Plus, You actually set your Beta and Alpha on fire at once! I mean how stupid are you?" I was outreaged, but knew that I was taking my anger from today out on him. I tried to reign myself in. "It's fine, just learn from your mistake. You're not stupid, just try and think before you act next time." I said in a much gentler, if forced, tone. He nodded, not looking at me, and then, still frustrated, dismissed practice. I told Dimitri and the others to clean up, and left.

I needed to relax, but couldn't go to the cliff. So I went to the next best thing. I got on the balcony, drew the blinds, and just stood there for a while. I knew that I shouldn't be upset. Judge Harks had specifically said that I needed to control my anger. Then, I started to think about what it would be like to be able to fly. My train of thought was a dangerous one, and before I knew what had happened, I was perched on top of the railing, ready for take off. Dimitri walked out just as I was coming to my senses, and shouted, "What the hell are you doing?" He rushed over, pulled me down. For some, obsourd reason, I started to cry. I didn't even know why. I just knew that it felt good to release my emotions. My life was so normal, so depressingly average. And then I started to laugh while the tears still fell down my face, smudging my make up. I was fifteen, preparing for a war, and crying because I thought my life was too normal.

What a twisted train of thought. I wasn't even normal for my race of warriors. My ex-best friend had become a monster and threatened to kill me in the eighth grade. I had almost just commited suicide. I had a seriously dangerous crush on my Beta, which would get me fired. I was thinking of getting fired when I was fifteen. What kind of sick kid was I?

Then I realized that Dimitri was still looking down at me concernedly, my head in his lap, laying on the floor. I stopped laughing, sat up, and murmered something about being fine. He didn't buy it, but eventually left when I wouldn't say anymore than that.

For a while I just sat there, watched the sunset and the moon rise. I sat and thought, looking at the stars, which were everywhere in the sky. When the moon was directly over my head, and I was shivering, contemplating going inside, I heard the door slide open.

Dimitri walked over, and lay down beside me. "You have a headache too?" I nodded, glad that I wasn't the only one. He seemed to be studying me, and I took the opportunity to do the same. His dark blue T-shirt had a small V-neck, and showed off his muscles. He wore long white plaid shorts. His hair was slightly wind blown, making it look amazing. His tan skin almost glowed in the deck light. The icy blue eyes that I loved so much were still studying me, and I wondered what he saw; if he liked what he saw. _Stupid. You shouldn't care about that. He's not an option._ My stupid conscience was right, and I walked to the balcony to avoid the temptation of his eyes.

We stayed like this for a while, and still I felt his eyes on me. I made an effort at small talk, but every question asked was answered in one word. Until he asked me a question. "Why were you about to jump? What drove you to that length?"

"I don't really know. I mean, my life is sure twisted, but that isn't why I got up on the railing. It was more like my mind tricked me into believing that I could fly. I was really about to come back down when you got there. I promise."

"I don't want you to ever die Rose. Because I don't know what I would do without you. I was wrong when I said that the Vote didn't matter. You're clearly the much better choice. Don't ever leave."

"Dimitri I- I won't" I was unsure as to how the conversation had gotten so serious so fast, but lost that train of thought when I felt Dimitri's breath on the back of my neck.

He had walked up right behind me, and placed his hands on the railing to either side of mine. I turned around, and his face was inches from mine. "Rose- I- your beautiful." His words were left behind as I closed the distance between us. Our lips met, and it was bliss. He moved closer, putting his hands on my back, my neck, deepening the kiss. My conscience was overruled by the pure joy that came with the kiss. And then it was over, and I remembered all of the reasons that we couldn't be doing this.

"I have to go. We can't- we shouldn't be doing this." He nodded, and I turned to go back inside. Only to turn right back. "Comrade." He turned at the sound of his nickname. "I'm not one to kiss and tell. I hope you're not either." It was a not so subtle hint that we couldn't tell anyone. At all.

My Wednesday sucked. Because I was faced not only with the daily trials of life, but also with the realization that we could never be together. That was sad for me, because I was seriously starting to think that I was falling in love with him. How that kiss made me feel. It was like a drug, and I didn't know how long I could go without another dose.


	14. Falling

Chapter 15

Another week passed, and another two battles were won. The teachers gave us Thanksgiving off, so we celebrated as a group in the city. It was fun, but the next day was back to our boring routine. We were still undefeated after two months of school, and I believed that it was mostly due to our intense practices. They were held in the one of the open fields that surrounded the campus. There were bleachers off to the side, where other kids could stop and watch. The more people we beat, the more people showed up at our practices. I guess they wanted to see what made us tick, but I just tried to ignore it.

I had the Pack practice synchronized attacks, using two or more people to defeat a common enemy. They practiced going solo, and being in groups of up to 6 at a time. Then I would have them split off to take out different enemies at the same time. It was hard, but they learned, and we were all the better for it.

I gave everyone a rank within the Pack. I assigned leaders and followers, and although there was controversy at first, the tactic proved to work, for in Battle, everyone always knew who was in charge at any given time. The list was as follows: 1. Me. 2. Dimitri. 3. Kylie. 4. Abby. 5. Matt. 6. Nick. 7. Sam. 8. Paul. 9. Lissa. Jean didn't lead. Ever. I just didn't trust her to make good decisions. I couldn't explain it, I just couldn't trust her.

The next day, Dimitri and I were called to see Judge Harks. I stepped into his office gingerly, Dimitri right behind me. When we were both seated, Harks spoke. "Tell me how you have done these past weeks." I looked at him, curious.

"We've never had more than two Krijders taken out of the battle, and we've never lost. Half of Pack 2's members make the all time top Krijder list, and Dimitri and I each hold a top five position." He nodded, taking in this information.

"And what has been your strategy for say, a Battle in which you must destroy a camp and all visible remains, while taking out all of the enemies? The enemy's objective is to capture your Alpha." It had been my most recent battle, one of the few in which we had lost a person. Lissa had been downed at the last battle. She had used up to much strength, and hadn't been able to see the fireball coming at her. The hit only knocked her out, but she could have easily died. She got lucky.

"Send out Pairs of complementing classes that can also work solo to draw the enemy to the front of the target building. Have a fight ensue, healers staying out of sight, while having a Dief slip away with a Heks and a Genezer to destroy the building. The Genezer surrounds them with a Bubble of Protection, and the three walk alway unharmed. The rest of the Pack receives a warning shot, and they escape before the explosion. Hopefully the enemy is subdued enough to be caught in the explosion. If not, we know because the game isn't called immediately, and then we just run clean up." Jean had been the one to accompany Abby and Sam to the building, leaving Lissa to heal the rest. It had been bad planning on my part, expecting her to heal so many. I didn't intend to make that mistake again.

He nodded, and then handed me a sheet of paper. "Here is your next Battle assignment. Good luck." I looked down at the paper, and then turned back to him, enraged.

"This battle is tonight." He nodded, and i raised my voice a touch. "My Pack just had practice; they're going to be tired. You can't actually expect me to fight this. It's not fair."

He merely looked at the clock, and then said, "Life isn't fair. Now I suggest you call your Pack." I jumped up, ready to tell him what he could do with his Battle.

But before I could say anything, Dimitri started pulling me out the door, murmuring, "Yes sir." He pinned me against a wall when the door was closed. Then to me he nearly shouted, "Rose. Calm down. Focus. Fight the fire Rose. Come on I know you can." I looked into those icy blue eyes that I loved so much, and suddenly became aware of how very close he was. I nodded, completely entranced. His eyes were just so blue. Like diving into a crystal clear pool of water, I fell into his eyes. For a moment, he seemed to realize how close we were too, and I thought that maybe something was going to happen. I hoped that something would happen. But then he let me go, and the trance was broken.

"Now let's go. We have to get them resting." I nodded meekly again, and then shook myself. Why was I acting this way? I stepped up and led the way back to the training field, where Kylie was wrapping things up as third in command.

I called the Pack over, and showed them the paper. There were different comments, namely that it was a battle on a practice day. That was unheard of. Abby and Matt just kept going on about not having the necessary 'energy'. It had something to do with Heks and Genezers, but I didn't know much about it. All I knew was that they needed it to cast spells. I calmed them down, and then said roughly, "Well, grab your things and let's go. Everyone back in the Dorm in 15 minutes. I'm going to go review strategy. Dimitri, make sure they all follow orders. We'll worry about the rest later." With that, I turned and walked to the stables. I had to see Blackjack. Blackjack always made me feel better. I would take a quick ride, and think how the hell I was going to win without my Heks.

I looked up to find the new stables in front of me. Quickly, I found Blackjack and started saddling him up. When we were just about to set out, I saw Dimitri come through the door. I double checked my watch. It had been more than 15 minutes. He had disobeyed my orders. Jackass.

He spotted me, and I took off, yelling, "Catch me if you can!" I heard him asking for the fastest horse there and smiled. I was already riding the fastest horse there. And I knew the area around here better than anyone. He had no chance. After riding for about thirty minutes, him still trying to find me, I decided to let him. I rode to my favorite place on campus. The cliff.

I stopped, and tied Blackjack to a tree a little ways from the edge. I then took out a blanket I had brought, and sat down on the edge, dangling my feet into nothingness. The view was so relaxing; all of my troubles seemed to melt away. And then a branch cracked. Dimitri was here. "It took you long enough." He came and sat beside me, just close enough to feel the electric current that I always felt around him, but not close enough that we were touching.

Dimitri, I know that you just want to help me. So i'm going to tell you every sad sob stroy of my life. Starting with what really happened with Alex." He looked suprised, but not in a way that said stop talking, so i continued on. "He and I-" My sentence was interrupted when something grabbed my foot. I stopped, looked down, and then was dragged off of my favorite place on campus: the cliff.

I thought about my life, about all of the sad things I had been about to tell Dimitri, and then something occurred to me: Maybe falling wasn't such a bad thing.


	15. Triumph

Chapter 16

I thought about my life, about Alex leaving, seeing my mother's murder, and how much emotion I had been bottling up for years. It was so hard to keep that contained all the time. So when I thought about it, falling didn't seem so bad. Just when I had accepted falling to my death, two giant Andean Condors came swooping in, catching me by their talons. These birds had just saved my life. Why would they do that to me? Really I had just accepted dying, and then these birds come and ruin everything. And for what? So that I could continue to go about killing things. Granted Dami were considered monsters, but they had once been respectable people. It was still taking a life, no matter how justified it was.

These thoughts went through my mind, and I started struggling. "Let me fall you stupid birds!" Then the lead one looked down at me, and I saw intelligent, deep brown eyes. These were not birds. These were Dami. And that particular bird was Alex. "LET ME GO! HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!" I screamed, my voice going hoarse. These birds were strong, but my weight was making them fly lower. We were close enough to the ground that a fall wouldn't kill me, and someone might hear me. But no one was outside.

They were holding me by my arms, just above the elbow. I had an idea. It would be painful, and probably destroy my favorite jacket, but it was necessary. I started throwing my feet in front of and behind me, swinging my body wait so as to rock myself back and forth. When I had gotten as high as I could without alerting them as to what I was doing, I through all of my wait upward with my legs, while throwing my legs behind me . I flipped in mid air, tearing the sleeves of my best jacket and shredding my skin where they had been holding me. It hurt. A lot. But it worked. I was free falling again, but this time only 20 feet or so. About a two story building.

I rolled as I landed, in an effort to absorb some of the shock. It still hurt like hell, but I didn't shatter any bones. I got up as quickly as I could, sprinting towards the dorms. The birds were following me, and quickly gaining. I ignored the pain in my legs and shoulders, and ignored the wet, warm life seeping out of my arms. I focused only on running. 10 steps from the dorms, they started clawing at my back, trying to gain purchase. 5, they had me, but couldn't lift me. 3, I was starting up the stairs, which was giving them upwards momentum. 2, my feet had left the ground, but I was still moving towards the door. 1, they let go of me, and I flew inside of the dorms.

I turned back, searching the air for them. They were there, circling the campus twice before heading southeast. Safe from danger, I looked at my arms. My jacket was soaked, and the black fabric was completely ruined. Moving my arms created an excruciating pain. But I suffered through it, taking off the jacket and preparing my self for the sight. It was gruesome. The flesh was torn, dangling from my arm. Taking a deeper look, I could see just a little bit of bone peeking out through the blood. I had to find a healer, fast.

Stumbling, I arrived at our dorm room. Everyone should be in there. But my vision was fading fast. I had to let them know I was there before I blacked out for lack of blood. I crashed into the door, and then fell into the wall behind me. The door opened, and Lissa was there. She saw my arms, and screamed. Then everything went dark.

I woke up in the hospital. Again. It wasn't even second quarter yet. Sigh. My arms were almost completely healed (thanks to the fact that we have healers) and I got dressed. It was seven. I had to get to my Pack and get to the Arena. I went to the front desk, filled out the proper forms, and then left. Alex had horrible timing.

I found Dimitri waiting for me, outside of the dorms. "Everyone already went to the Arena. Let's go." When we got to the stadium, there was only 10 minutes before the Battle stared. I found our assignment, and grabbed two short swords (I had recently been practicing duel wielding weapons) from the rack. We were to capture their Alpha, while making sure to neutralize the Genezers. They had the same goal. My mind was slower than usual, but I was able to draw up a plan before the whistle. "Alright. Remember the first Battle we had? Were going to use that outline, but with a twist. Same pairs, but this time, I'm not risking getting captured. So we still meet, at the front, but this time their Guardian is out of the picture. Then it should just be clean up." They nodded, and I sent them to their positions. This strategy would only work if they either didn't know it, or didn't think we'd be stupid enough to use the same plan twice.

That fight was close. At the end, it was just me and Dimitri against a Jaeger, a Dief, and their final Genezer. We blocked and jumped, swiped and stabbed. The Dief was taken out by Dimitri, who was then taken out by the Jaeger. And then there were three. I was facing the Genezer, about to go for the kill when I heard the arrow. It was coming from behind me. I ducked just in time, and it flew into the Genezer. Then I turned and proceeded to take out the Jaeger. That being finished, I went and made the motion of killing the Genezer. We had won, barely. I would have died had I ducked a millisecond later.

But we won, and just like after our first Battle, we went home and partied. This time however, I made sure not to go out onto the balcony. That had been a mistake, I kept telling myself. Eventually, as the party started to simmer down, I noticed that Abby wasn't there. Telling the others that I was going for more food, I left. Halfway down the stairs, I found her, curled up in a ball. She was crying, which I hate dealing with. But I was the Alpha, so I felt it was my responsibility to comfort her.

I sat down next to her, and tried to think of what to say. Finally, I asked the only question I could think of. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" I used my most ginger tone, trying to calm her down.

"What's it like, knowing that you won't ever get to be with Dimitri? Knowing that Kylie, or Jean, or Lissa will get him?" I was taken aback, and started stuttering, "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb. The whole Pack can see that you're in love with him. And it doesn't matter that he might return the feeling, because it's against the rules." In love with him? Where had she gotten that? Seeing my shock, she added, "You're always looking at him, asking him what he thinks; you straighten up when you see him, try to act more, I don't know, important around him." I bit my lip, and knew that she was right. I did act that way. But that didn't mean that I loved him. Because I couldn't love him. She and I both knew that you couldn't love the member of the Pack in the same Klasse as you.

"It feels terrible." I finally said. "Terrible that I can't be with him as more than a friend. Is- are- do you feel that way for Matt?" She nodded, and I let her lean her head on my shoulder. We sat like that in silence for a while, bonding over our love for someone we couldn't have. Although I still wasn't sure that I was in love with Dimitri. After a while, we went back to the Dorms. Everyone else was already asleep, so we went to bed.

The next morning, I caught Abby looking at Matt with a longing expression. She looked at me then, and I gave her a small, comforting smile. She blushed, and then smiled back. Then I looked at Matt. And to my surprise (and Abby's anguish), Matt was checking out Kylie. I walked past him, whispering, "She's way out of your league." He looked at me, surprised and annoyed. Oh what a twisted Pack we were. Everyone wanted someone they couldn't have. Kylie had told me the other day that she thought Sam had a mysterious, dark look that she thought was hot. Everyone else thought she was crazy, but she merely said, "The heart wants what the heart wants."

I noticed different people looking at each other, and finally had the Pack mapped out (romantically anyways). I liked Dimitri, who (I hoped) liked me back. Abby liked Matt, who liked Kylie. Kylie liked Sam, who liked Lissa. But Lissa liked Paul. Paul liked Abby. Jean liked Nick. And Nick liked me. Basically, my Pack was doomed romantically. But oh well. The heart wants what the heart wants.

There were times when I contemplated breaking the rules, asking Dimitri out. But then I would be no better than Alex, breaking rules that were there for a reason. So I didn't act on the crush that I knew was blooming into something more. He was just so intense about everything he did. And he loved life. One time, when I was hiking up to my cliff again (this time I wasn't going to it so close to the edge), I heard someone singing.

"Heaven can wait up high in the sky. It's you and I. Heaven can wait deep down in your eyes. I'm yours tonight. Lay your heart next to mine. I feel so alive. Tell me you want me to wait, forever 'cus heaven can wait." It was Dimitri, drawing a tree he had found in the forest. Then I realized that it was the tree that I was hiding behind. I ducked away, but not before Dimitri saw me. He took off one of his headphones, saying,

"No wait. Go back the way you were." I peeked out again, and he started drawing. After he was done, he showed me the sketch. It was amazing, a flawless picture of myself. When I told him so, he laughed, and gave it to me. It was now hanging on my mirror, along with the note. The other girls asked me about it, but I just shrugged, saying that I had found it there. If they realized that I was lying, they didn't say anything.

The next week, I nearly got suspended. It had to do with a fight that I got into, though I still maintain that I fought out of self defense. I had been walking around the halls, reviewing for the third time that hour the list of reasons that I couldn't be with Dimitri. Then Mia (of course all of my fights just had to do with Mia) tripped me in the halls. I brought her down with me as a fell, and we ended up in a tangled heap, which quickly turned into a wrestle that I won.

We were both sent to Harks' office by a teacher that broke up the crowd around us, and we each got our own private lectures. From what I could hear of hers, she had Judge Harks wrapped around her finger. She whined a bit, sucked up, and basically schmoozed him into giving me a suspension that I had to debate my way out of for at least and hour. I ended up with a severe reprimand and a severe punishment: My Pack couldn't practice that week. That was bad, because the monthly tournament was coming up, and we were expected to have some tough competition.

I took what I got though, and went back to my Pack with the news. They were angry at first, but with the help of Dimitri, I got them calmed down. I apologized and then told them that while we couldn't practice as a Pack, we could still practice on our own, and I expected them to do that at least twice that week. They sulked a little, and then Abby changed the subject. I nodded gratefully to her, and she smiled.

Through some miracle, we won, and I almost laughed when I saw Judge Harks' pouting face at the banquet. It was clear that he didn't like me. That was okay, because the feeling was completely mutual. I smiled my way through the dinner, and celebrated with my Pack afterwards. They now completely trusted my judgment and leadership, for which I was glad. We were finally becoming a Pack.


	16. Depression

Chapter 17

We kept fighting Battles, always winning. It got close at times, but we still won. One day, I decided that if we were going to get ahead far enough to not have to worry, we had to get ahead physically. So I had offered to train the Pack early in the morning. They had all agreed, trusting in my judgment. Every morning, Dimitri and I went to the training complex every morning at 5 AM to set up. The Pack was there by 5:30, and we were in class by our 6:30 classes in the morning.

Our extra training showed halfway into December, when we eliminated all of our opponents while not taking a hit ourselves. The Pack was laughing, and so was I. I wanted to freeze that moment in time, box it up, and keep it in my pocket for when I was down. Life seemed perfect, and I had forgotten my worries, completely carefree. Then I looked at Dimitri, and the moment was shattered. He was looking right at me, and our eyes made contact. The electric current came over me, and I shivered. How did he have that effect on me? We weren't even close to each other, and yet he had the power to do that to me with a glance.

I tried to shrug it off, but it was like an itch that wouldn't go away. So I started to avoid him. I pulled away from him, and in doing so, removed myself from the Pack. I started to notice laughter dying when I walked into a room, the jokes stopping, and a more serious air of business take over. It hurt, that they were starting to cut me out as a friend like that. But I was their Alpha, and I decided that if that was the type of leader that they wanted, then that was the type of leader that I would become. I through myself into my studies, said the minimum to my Pack, and spent more time than ever on the balcony.

I guess that some part of me had expected them to fish me out of the leadership role and tell me that I had just been imagining things from the start. But the month of December passed by, and our Pack was getting close to becoming one of the best in history. Our stats were improving, if that was possible. We were becoming more efficient, a well oiled machine. They respected me enough to follow my orders without a second thought, and our times, mechanics, and execution grew as close to perfect as I had ever seen a single Pack's.

I grew depressed. It wasn't gradual either. It happened one night after a particularly good battle. The rest of the Pack was laughing, joking and running around. I looked at them, and realized how hopelessly isolated I had become. I didn't understand any of their jokes, and thought of their playing as immature. Then I grew angry. I hadn't just become this isolated. They had let this happen. They had watched me grow more and more separated, and had done nothing to fix it. They had watched me grow up; skipping what was left of my childhood. Why? Why hadn't they helped me?

_Because it's better for them for you to be isolated._ The little nagging voice in my head spoke to me, and I crumpled. Of course. I had never been their friend. Just an asset that led them to victory and trained them up. Just a coach. Just a parental figure to guide them through high school. Just a tool.

My downward spiral was fast, and dangerous. I was moody, my attention split between being angry, being sad, and avoiding Dimitri, the only person that probably would've understood what I was feeling.

In my isolation, I had watched him spiral into the opposite of what had happened to me, but with the same effect. The Pack had started surrounding him, using him for everything. They confided in him, got advice from him, asked him for help; they used him too. And he realized it. But they needed him, so he couldn't show the emotion to them. In fact, I was the only one that he showed. When we were alone, training or setting up for training, he would crumple into a tired heap of bones, the life leaving him. I acted similarly, and between the two of us, the workout room was dead silent. So he showed only me, but I pretended not to notice. It was easier for both of us if I just avoided him. Then we wouldn't have to work to stay separated.

The Pack had put us on our own lonely islands, separated by miles of shark infested waters.

Both of us kept up our jobs: he continued to support them, and I continued to guide them. And we continued to be miserable.

Lissa approached me in the last week, when we were still preparing for Christmas and the tournament. I had been deep in thought, mentally quizzing myself. What do I do if this person does this, or the map is like that. She knocked on the balcony door. I opened the screen for her, and then sat back down. "Rose? Do you uh-Do you have a minute?" She asked timidly. I felt myself crumple again. My best friend had just acted like my subordinate. She seemed to notice, and continued on at my silence. "It's just that uh, you uh, you asked everyone to gather for a meeting." Had I? I didn't remember right away. My curious face must have given me away, because she reminded me, "Something about attitude?" Ah yes. I was going to give them a pep talk before our battle. I told her to give me a minute, and she went back inside.

I sat there, willing myself to get up. I had a job to do. I had to go in there and lie my face off about teamwork and how much I appreciated each and every one of them, and how our teamwork would beat the opposition if we could just remember our synchronization training. But I found that I was tired of lying. I did not want to go in there, and my body knew it. So it stayed seated until Dimitri came out, and called me in. I got up, but ignored his holding open the door for me, and use d the other entrance. I was still giving him a healthy distance.

I gave my speech, rallied them up, and had them get on their suits (Admin. had recently given everyone suits that resembled our Pack Uniforms, but were made for battle) for battle. We trooped out, mopped the floor with our competition, and were back in the dorm celebrating twenty minutes later.

My ten minutes of 'celebrating' with my Pack was up, and I was about to go to the balcony, when Lissa caught my arm. "Stay here. It's much more fun than moping on the balcony." I was about to tell her off, when I realized how bitchy that would be. Here she was sticking her neck out for me, and I was about to chop it up. So I stayed for the rest of the party. At first it was awkward, but eventually I loosened up, and ended up having more fun than I had had all month. I actually smiled, and laughed. I was off my island, and it felt great.

The next morning, Dimitri and I were early for Conditioning. I was setting up for some punching, just to play around, and saw Dimitri looking at me curiously. I ignored him, finished setting up the punching bag, and started to stretch. My stretching turned into a warm up, which included the punching bag. I let all of my negative emotions flow, and within eight swings, the punching bag had been knocked off of its chain, into the wall behind it. Dimitri jumped back in surprise, and I laughed. He stared at me for a minute before he too laughed. We had a fit of laughter that ended five minutes later. Looking at the clock, I saw that we still had ten minutes before Coach was supposed to arrive. I smiled at Dimitri, who was on the floor next to me. "I bet you couldn't do that." I nodded towards the punching bag that I had knocked into the wall, and he grinned.

"Could too." I told him that I doubted it, and he bounced up, set up a bag, and was at it. On his sixth swing, the bag's chain snapped, and it flew across the room. Only this time, it didn't fly straight. It came right at me. I couldn't move, couldn't breath, and watched as the bag sailed towards me.

Right before it hit me, the bag stopped. It was inches from my nose, and I was amazed. Then it swung in the opposite direction, and I saw that Dimitri had caught the chain and swung it around. Only by throwing it behind him, he threw himself at me. He fell on top of me, and when I looked up, my mouth open to make a sarcastic comment, I found his face inches from mine. Thankfully, Coach walked in right then, saving us from another mistake. I really had to get my life straightened up.


	17. Psyche

Chapter 18

We won the tournament, got our third tournament badge, and then it was Christmas. I was perplexed as to what to get everybody. We set a tree up in the living room, and decorated it by catching tiny fireballs in little jars, then hanging them. Matt set up some other, holiday strobe lights (honestly how many did that guy have?) and then Abby hung some mistletoe. We all looked around nervously, but the mistletoe stayed. Classes were dismissed Christmas day, so we all slept in until 9. Then we made breakfast, and finally sat down to open presents.

Nick went first. He pulled out a new soccer ball for Paul, who smiled and politely thanked him. Next was a sketchpad for Dimitri, who thanked him with a winning smile. Nick didn't return it though. I think he had picked up on my crush for Dimitri. Then he gave Kylie one of those Swiss Army knifes. She hugged him, and then he pulled out a webcam for Jean, a charm bracelet for Lissa, a new book for Sam, set of new earphones for Abby, and some hair gel for Matt. Then he turned to me, and gave me a new Horse brush. "I know that you like your horse, so…" I got up and hugged him, which surprised everyone, me included. So I sat back down and pretended like nothing happened. After a few moments, we continued.

Then went Abby, who gave all the girls bracelets, and all of the guys watches. She then explained that each of them came with ear pieces, and speakers were embedded in the bands of her gifts. Hidden walky-talkies. She was a genius.

When it was just me and Dimitri who hadn't given out the presents, Jean got up and made everyone a second batch of coffee. Then we sat down again. I went first, distributing my gifts. They all liked them, but Dimitri had the best gifts by far. He gave Nick and Kylie decorated quivers. He gave Abby a small skiing statue, made in Alaska. To Matt, he gave a special comb for his hair, one that 'brings out the shine' in the hair. Whatever. To Jean he gave a little picture frame, decorated with little rhinestones. Dimitri gave Lissa a belt that she had been eyeing in the store last time we all went. To Sam he gave a collection of Western novels that he had read and were his favorites. He handed Paul a soccer jersey (apparently it was his favorite player's). Finally, he turned to me, saying "Close your eyes." I did, curiously, and waited while he went to get something. When he had it, he said "Now open."

On my lap was one of the finer swords I had seen in my life. The sheath was a deep purple, with the sword's name engraved on it. _Psyche_. It had a strap that attached two different ways. It could be worn on the back or hip. Everyone watched as I unsheathed the thin blade. It was shiny silver, so shiny that I could see my own reflection in it. The blade itself was slightly curved, with inscriptions written on it. Dimitri said that they translate roughly into a legend about an angel come to earth to deliver the humans from all evil. She used the sword, and while she was on earth, good reigned. While he told the story, I looked at the hilt. It had what appeared to be purple leather wrapped around it, the same shade as the sheath. It had a cross guard, wrapped likewise. The pommel was purple, with a metal spike coming out of the bottom. There were also spikes coming out of the ends of the cross guard.

This was a blade that could kill in one stroke. This was a blade meant for war. I finally noticed everybody staring at me, including Dimitri. He smiled. "So do you like it?" I nodded, finally out of my original state of shock. "I-I can't accept this." I stammered. "It's way over the 20 dollar limit." Just to be safe we had set a 20 dollar limit, to make sure no one was bummed if their gift wasn't as expensive as someone else's.

"Actually, it was free. This was my great-grandmothers. She never lost a fight with that sword. Finally, after all of her Pack member's died, she committed suicide. Using a different blade though, she had already given _Psyche_ to my grandfather, who never lost a battle with it. He however, did not commit suicide, and died of old age. The sword went to my mother, who recently gave it to me. Now I am giving it to you, as I think that you can do so much more with it." I just kept on stammering thank you. That afternoon, while everyone was doing there own thing, Dimitri and I went to the training complex to break in my new sword.

We went, throwing snowballs and yelling. No one was out, seeing as it was winter in the mountains. When we arrived at the training complex, Dimitri drew two regular swords, I drawing _Psyche_. He lunged, and the battle began. We ducked and dodged, moving around the whole building, while still circling each other. My sword arm was parrying and cutting, I disarmed his main hand, but he switched his other sword, and we continued the fight. 5 more minutes, and we were both sweating. He disarmed me then, from a careless move on my part. He smiled, triumphant, and I tackled him, knocking away the sword. We wrestled for a bit, but eventually he had me pinned down.

Both of us were breathing hard, smiling and our faces inches apart. I was looking at the ceiling, and noticed a little plant hanging upside-down. "Mistletoe." I pointed it out with my free hand. Before he could look up, I kissed him, letting out all of the emotions that I had for him that were bottled up. It was long and passionate, and after, looking at him, I realized that I couldn't stop myself from loving him. "No one can ever know." I said solemnly. He nodded, and we continued kissing, lying there on the floor. What can I say? Addictions are hard to kick.


	18. Rising

Chapter 19

New Years Eve was fun. Dimitri and I went out on the balcony and kissed at midnight, something we weren't doing just because it was New Years. We did that a lot. But this time we had the excuse of it being midnight on New Years. Not that we needed it, but still. THe whoel group partied, and Matt had all twenty of his strobe lights set up for the occasion. I was suprised that no one had seized yet.

The next day, however, was not so fun. We were at our normal Monday practice, when an office worker came up and called us into Harks' office. I followed reluctantly ( I just really disliked the guy.), Dimitri on my tail. When we got there, he went over our statistics with us, asked us how we were doing, even started off with some small talk like we were good friends. As if. The whole time Dimitri handled the talking while I tried not to glare too much. I had just gotten him tuned out nicely to some OneRepublic when he said something that caught my attention.

"...effective immediatley. Understood?" Dimitri nodded, a shocked look on his face, and I, with all of my poise and grace, asked in a dull voice, "What?" Harks looked down his nose at me in disapproval, and then repeated himslef: "Your Pack is being entered into the Sophmore system, effective immediatley. Did you get that?"

"WHAT?" I said with a little more enthusiasm.

He sighed, and explained himself. "Well, since none of your year can beat you, you are all getting straight A's in honor classes, and have started coasting, we decided to move you up in line. We think it best to challenge you a little. So you will play them, take classes with them, become one of them. Go and tell your Pack that they, as of now, have graduated from their Freshman year." I gawked at him, and he made a shooing motion, making it clear that his previous sentence was a dismissal. I stood and took the schedules that he was holding with the hand that wasn't motioning for me to get the hell out of his office.

I then stumbled out of his office, down the hall, as if i was drunk. He couldn't move us up. That wasn't fair. Sophmores were bigger, faster, stronger, and smarter than us. They played the game better and knew more about the rules to begin with. They had more experience. We couldn't beat them.

But at the same time, some part of me knew that it was the right way to go. We had gone through all of our classmates three times, not once losing more than two people. We had won all of the tournaments, were undefeated, and had the best times in the school. If they hadn't moved us up soon, i probably would've ended up asking for it anyways. So why was i fighting it?

Was i one of those people that felt the need to fit in? Did i not want to move up because no one ever did? Or because it would just add more stress to the heap building up inside of me?More bang to the bomb i was building. Whatever the reason, i decided that there was nothing i could do about it, so it was best just to move on with my life and start training harder.

I looked down at the schedules to gadge how hard the semester would actually be. Dismay crossed my face when i saw my class load.

1: Conditioning  
2: War Strategy H  
3: Tactical Theory 2 H  
4: Leadership 2 H  
5: Martial Arts 2 H  
6: Weapons Training 2 H  
Lunch  
7: Equestrian Skills H  
8: Physics and Pre-Calculus H  
9: English 2 and World History H

Aside from Equestrian Skills, which would be easy, i had the hardest classes in all subjects. I also had two more classes than the average Sophmore, and didn't get home from school until 5 PM, wchich meant that Pack practice would also be moved back to 5:15 and cut short. We were going to be squeezed and stretched until we broke, i realized. And then i thought, _I don't want to be broken. I won't let them break me._ I would rise to the occasion and show them what i was worth if it was the last thing i did. I made it a personal goal to win the monthly tournament and went home.

When i told the rest of the Pack, their jaws all dropped. Then i handed them their schedules, and their faces fell to meet their jaws. "They can't be serious. I mean, we didn't even finish our regular training. How are we supposed to beat them while trying to do all of this advanced stuff? What were they thinking?" Abby asked.

My face hardened, and I told her, "They want to break us, Abby. They're mad that we're better than the rest of them and they want to make us feel bad. So they're going to squeeze, and stretch, and bend us until we break, all the while saying it's for our own good. We just have to rise to the occasion. We just have to prove them wrong." She nodded at the ground, clearly unfazed by what i thought was a pretty good speech.

It was getting late, and we had a big day tomorrow. We had to adjust and learn and try to not get killed. So i told them it was lights out, got ready for bed, and then waited until the rest of the girls were asleep. Then i walked onto the balcony, and stared at the moon. I wondered where Alex was. If he could see the same moon as me. It was a question that i often asked myself at night, but this time it lead to a different train of thought. I started to wonder if my mom and her Pack could see the same moon as I, if maybe they could see it from the heaven that my mom always believed in. I would've liked to think that she could, but i never could quite get myself to believe that there was a god up there so twisted that he would let my life shatter into a million pieces in front of my eyes. I went to sleep after a while, and dreamed of a heaven that my mom would be happy in. It was a good dream, the first i'd had in a long time.


	19. Sophmores

**Okay so I haven't added in any authors notes at all so far in the story. So here goes. **

**I appreciate all of the viewers, but especially the people that take the time to tell me how i can do better, by reviewing. I appreciate people that Favorite story me, or add a story alert, but that doesn't do me as much good (or make me want to write more) as a review will. Also, I don't own VA's characters or the song lyrics for Heaven Can Wait by We the Kings and Stop and Stare by One Republic, but i do own this story that i am now writing out. I always have claims to my content, which translates into NO TOUCHY MY STORY. So there we go. Thank you for being patient enough to read this, and here is chapter 20.**

Chapter 20

Conditioning was te same as always, with an annoying coach and a super hot workout partner, who was now officially my off-the-books boyfriend. But the rest of my first day as a Sophmore was scattered and stressfull. I was 3 months behind on all of the tests and most of the content. They actually expected me to take all of the quizzes and tests that had been taken so far. What a joke.

War Strategy, or wars as we liked to call it, was frustrating, but fun. It was basically learning how to plan a war, so that all of the individual battles eventually led to your victory. Instead of just focusing on burning down a building and killing ten people, I had to focus on burning down two buildings, capturing two people while killing eighteen others, and doing things like refraining from using a Heks to save power for the next fight, or stealing supplies for the next fight before burning down the building. I felt like i was seeing doubles.

Tactical Theory 2, or Tac 2, was just a more advanced Tactical theory 1, so it wasn't going to be that hard. But it wasn't going to be fun playing catch up on a class that had a three month lead on me. In fact, my stress level rose so much that i had to consciously calm myself down.

Then came Leadership 2, which wasn't too hard, since i had a Pack that followed me without a second thought on the field. The only problem that i had was the class was the teacher, who attacked me verbally as soon as I sat down. I deflected most of his comments, but got reprimanded a couple of times for being to sharp with my words. i would have to do some serious sucking up for that class.

In Martial Arts 2, i was accidentally paired with the top student. I survived a couple of rounds with him, then got knocked to the floor. Once the teacher woke me up, he told me about the mistake and then paired me up with a medium skilled kid, who i beat after the third round of sparring. I walked out of the class with a black eye and my pride. Weapons training 2 was similar to Martial Arts 2, except that my teacher didn't pair me up with a total badass so i was able to sparr with two people, who i beat soundly. I was still one of the best kids with a weapon.

During Lunch the Pack got together at the Dorm and started comparing bruises. I ended up winning with my black eye, which was already swollen mostly shut. Dimitri and i were sitting together, and i saw some exchanged glances that made me think that maybe some of them (Kylie and Abby) had a feeling that Dimitri and I were together. Ignoring them and keeping my feelings for Dimitri hidden took most of my energy, and that plus my hard morning made me eat a lot.

The Pack left the Dorm at the end of lunch and got to the Stables, which were now behind the track instead of to the side where they had been, for Equestrian Skills H. We waited until all of the class was assigned a horse (those that didn't own one like me were assigned a school one to train with. If they did well enough together, the horse was sometimes given to the student at graduation) and then we mounted up. This showed me that only four of us knew how to ride a horse well. Coincidentally enough, only four of the people need to be good enough to go into honors for the whole Pack to be assigned to it. So Dimitri, Kylie, Nick and I mounted up while Lissa, Sam, Paul, Jean, Matt, and Abby awkwardly stood by their horse, awaiting instructions on how to get up. When the rest of the class started riding off to the horse area, i took pitty on them and had Kylie, Nick, and Dimitri help some of them, while i helped the rest. I then gave them basic riding instruction and told them to try and keep up. I led them to the area, and found that the class had already received instructions and had started a little course.

There were four jumps (tree logs) and a bunch of obstacles (trees) in our way, and we had to wind our way through the course without injuring our horse in as little time as possible. People were getting a little under a minute (it was a short course), until Abby started off. She tripped twice on her horse, nearly fell off at one point, and skipped all of the jumps. Her final score was somewhere around five minutes. The other five that couldn't ride got a similar time, and then Kylie was up. She did all right, getting the average 55 seconds. So did Nick. Dimitri got 50 seconds, the best in the class. I smiled, rode up to the starting line, and guided Blackjack through the course in a stunning 40 seconds. I was applauded, became an immediate teacher's pet, and then it was time to leave.

I understood most of what we covered in Physics and Pre-Cal, although some of it was just plain gibberish. I didn't participate or anything like that, but i wasn't lost either. Next was English 2 and World History 2, or CORE, as we liked to call it. I couldn't tell you what we studied then, because i was asleep for over half of it. It was close to 5 PM, and i hadn't gotten much sleep last night anyways. I saw Kylie's notes after, and sighed. I really should have payed attention, it was just so boring. Dimitri smiled, winked, and promised to tutor me. I rolled my eyes and laughed, hiding my heart's flutters.

At the end of the day, i really didn't want to practice. But we had our first battle tomorrow, and i _really_ wanted to win. So i ignored the groans and evil looks i got when i told them to dress out and meet at the practice field. We got through it, and all got a _very_ good sleep. I was out before my head hit the pillow.

**So what do you think? Tell me by reviewing. If you're going to take the time to Favorite story me, at least say a few words of encouragement in a review. I appreciate criticism and positive input the most.**


	20. Andre

**Okay...so who here had a good Halloween? I know i did. mmmmmmm candy. But onto my story... can anybody believe that it's already ch. 21? it feels like i just started rewriting a week ago...time flies...here ya go**

Chapter 21

Our first Sophomore battle went alright. Kylie and Nick were the only two standing by the end, but we won. Jean, Lissa, Sam, Paul, Abby, and Matt had all been taken out in the first ten minutes of the battle, based on some poor planning on my part. Nick, Kylie, Dimitri, and I then went through the easy part of the battle (taking out the enemy base while stealing something from inside) and had to deal with eight members of their Pack (the others had taken down a Genezer and a Heks). Kylie and Nick fought off the other Jaegers, leaving Dimitri and i to deal with 6 Sophomores on our own.

They surrounded us, and we quickly went back-to back. He killed the other Heks and a Dief, but then one of the Guardians that i hadn't killed (yes, I was pro enough to take on two Upperclassmen Guardians and a Dief on my own) made a stab that i dodged, forgetting the Dimitri was behind me. He "died", falling on and killing the other Genezer. I then focused my attention on the Guardian and Dief. I stabbed and parried for my fake life, and after 5 minutes of nonstop twirling and swiping, I killed the Dief. Then the Guardian and I circled each other. He had an angry look on his face, like he couldn't believe he hadn't killed me yet. _Ya, thats right you arrogant douche. I can fight, _I thought just as i stabbed him. I stood up and turned around, just in time for a stray arrow from Nick to hit me square in the forehead. Just perfect. That was going to bruise. But then he fired at the right target, killing the last one (our other goal).

He ran over, appologizing with a concerend look on his face. He helped me up, and I told him not to worry about it. In my head, I was telling him to get his freaking target right the first time, but that's not a very encouraging thing to say to your Pack member, so I didn't say it aloud. Coach Dargan blew his stupid whistle, and I lead the Pack home, asking Lissa about the symptoms for a concussion. She assured me that I had one, then healed me with a laugh.

By the end of January, we were leading the stands again. We won the tournament, and I relished in Harks' face when he saw me sitting at the head table yet again. Our formal uniforms were starting to fill up with badges and medals. We had our Freshman and Sophomore badges, five badges for each of the months that we had stayed undefeated, five medals for each of the end of the month tournaments we had won, our respective Klasse badges, our honor roll badges, my Alpha badge, and our Year Patch, which had changed from 2014 to 2013. Honestly, I didn't know how long I would be able to hold the weight on my shoulders.

Slowly, as February set in, i noticed a change in other people's behaviors. They started coming to sit by me at lunch, and all of our practices were watched. Most times, the bleachers were full and people had to stand off to the sides. I allowed them, but as soon as a notepad came out, practice ended. They caught on about the notepads after the second time it happened, and the notebooks disappeared the next practice. Halfway into February, I looked over and saw a senior standing there, clearly curious about what everybody was watching. He saw that it was just a practice, and was about to turn away when i split the Pack into groups of six and four. I then asked who was in charge in each group. The Pack yelled the answer out in unison, "ROSE AND KYLIE" I nodded my approval, and then split the groups a different guy turned back and asked his neighbor something. The person pointed at me, and the guy turned to look at me. He then noticed me looking at him, and gave a half smile. I looked away, embarrassed. I then dismissed the Pack and left. Becasue I knew that guy. His name was Andre Dragomir. He was 5'8, with trimmed black hair and hazel eyes. He had a smile that could light up a room, the best social skills I've ever seen, and girls falling at his feet. He was Lissa's older brother, whom i had had a crush on since i met him. And the sad part was, I still did. But I had to get over that, because I had a boyfriend now, and couldn't swoon every time I saw him like I used to. So I had to get over him and his amazingly hot body. Sigh.

As I was breaking down all of the equipment, he walked up behind me. "That was quite some practice. It's too bad I only got to see the end. It seems like it's been forever since we talked." I put on my best smile, set my teeth, and turned around to greet him.

"Andre! What a nice surprise! When did you get back?" I hugged him (in the process feeling his rock hard abs), wondering why he was back form his training. In the spring of senior year, each Pack was sent out to intern with an older, more experienced Pack for two months, to see what it was like. So why was he back halway into his first month?

"Well, I flew in this morning. My mentors had some meeting with Judge Harks, so I got to visit my baby sister and her best friend. And may I just say, you look gorgeous." I blushed, and realized that he was still holding my hand from the hug. I pulled it away, and he let go reluctantly. Then, out of the blue, Dimitri walked up and punched him, knocking out his lights.

Don't you just love it when guys fight over you?

**Okay so that was ch. 21! ch. 22 coming soon**

**The thing that will make me want to write more is a box of reviews, delivered to my doorstep. But i guess i'll settle for some on my laptop too. Review plz!**


	21. Nine

**Okay guys so I am officially the worst person ever. I realize that most of you probably just stopped reading after a while, but hopefully you'll still like it. It's been a while since I wrote, so I'm probably going to have to shake the cob webs off. Tell me how this goes. **

Chapter 22

"Dimitri! Why the hell would you do that?" I yelled at him. He looked at me with puppy dog eyes; the jerk knew I couldn't resist those. But it didn't matter. Rules were rules, and the fact that we were preparing for war did not make it okay for people to punch each other randomly. I gritted my teeth to prepare myself for what I was about to do. "Get to the Dorm. I will deal with you there." I said the words quietly and threateningly, but with my eyes closed. He nodded and left quickly, knowing that I was not to be trifled with in this state.

I squatted down to check Andre's injury. He was completely unconscious, but the black eye hadn't even started forming yet. Wimp. I thought back to how hot it was that Dimitri had been jealous, so he had just punched him, even if it wasn't that hard. Then I looked down at Andre, unconscious and whimpering slightly, and realized something. Dimitri was so much better than Andre would ever be. I laughed at myself for ever liking the guy. But then, compared to perfection, everything looks bad. And as soon as my little crush was gone, I saw what Andre really was. A selfish, jackass with good charisma.

I sighed and hoisted him up, carrying him over my back fireman style. He was heavy, but nothing I couldn't handle. The dead weight slowed me down a little, so it took us a good ten minutes to get to the Administration buildings. When we did, I simply dropped him off at the nurse's office and left. I didn't want to have to deal with him anymore.

On the way back to the dorm, I stopped at the stables and rode up to the cliff. I needed to think about what I should do about the whole Dimitri thing. Regulation was house suspension for three days; meaning he couldn't be in any practices, Battles, school, or go off campus. For three days. Any sane Krijder would quickly become crazy with boredom. But missing a Battle probably meant defeat for us. I weighed my options the whole time, trying to decide between what was right and what was best. I finally decided that even if it meant losing one battle, I had to do what was right.

When I got back to the dorm, everyone was just lounging around. Kylie and Nick were helping each other with science while Sam read on the couch. Abby and Matt were in the kitchen talking, and I waggled my eyebrows at her. She blushed, and I chuckled a bit. I asked around and Paul had taken Lissa and Jean to watch him play a bit of soccer, and Dimitri was chilling on the balcony.

I stepped out as gingerly as possible, but I knew he heard me. When he turned, his face was a mask, completely unreadable. I took this as a bad sign, but I had to give him the punishment. He knew it too. I started slow. "So…about earlier." He kept his face blank, which totally freaked me out. After a bit of silence, I decided to plow through it in my official voice. "What you did was not right. As per regulation, I hereby sentence you to three days of in house suspension, including all extracurricular activities and Battles." I noticed his eyes widen a bit, like he couldn't believe I'd actually do it. To be honest, neither was I.

"You're kidding right?" His smooth voice sounded rough, which meant that something was seriously wrong. "I was just protecting you. I mean, you saw the way he was holding your hands. It was clear you didn't want him to." I just stared at him, disbelieving.

"I don't know what you saw, but it sure wasn't that. I mean, just admit it. You were jealous. It's okay. Just serve the time so we can get back to reality."

"No. I'm not going to let you ruin our perfect record like this. Just- no." I felt my mouth drop. He was disobeying a direct order.

"Dimitri, I'm sorry. But don't make this any harder than it already is. You did the crime, and now you have to do the time." He just shook his head, his eyebrows knitting together in frustration. I could tell that he was trying to fight the fire again. He took a couple of deep breaths and I walked up to him. Dimitri noticed and motioned me to stop. I did, trusting him. After a minute or so his face relaxed and I walked up to him, giving him a gentle kiss. "Don't worry. I won't let us loose. I'm too proud for that." He chuckled a little and then pulled me back.

"I know. I just wanted an excuse." I laughed at that, and we spent the rest of the night comfortable in each other's presence. At the end of the night (or early in the morning depending on how you look at it), I decided we both needed our rest, me a little more than him. So I turned to say goodnight. He was just staring at me, his arm draped around my shoulder. He looked so god like at that moment, it was amazing.

"I love you Dimitri." Once the words slipped out, it was too late to take them back. I closed my eyes, waiting for the awkward response. Instead I got another kiss and an "I love you too." I smiled, and then had an idea. "Go get your comforter and pillow." I instructed him. He looked at me questioningly, but did. I did the same and we made a sort of large sleeping bag, with his comforter on top and mine on bottom. We snuggled, and eventually I fell asleep.

I woke up to the rising sun, which meant I was late. I jumped up, shaking Dimitri to get my comforter back. I snuck inside. Thankfully, all of the girls were still asleep, so none of them had to know. I made my bed and then hopped in the shower. Today I would be going through the first four periods alone, which was alright for everything except conditioning, which sucked. Dargan made me do twice the running I normally did to make up for Dimitri's absence, which made me late to my next class.

The rest of the day passed by, if slowly. When I went home for lunch, Dimitri was sitting on the couch, just staring into space. I sigh and go over. We snuggle with each other for a bit before the rest of the Pack gets there. Then I laugh with them and pretend like nothing's happened. Towards the end of lunch, I tell everyone to go ahead, I have to print something. They leave, and I go sit on Dimitri's lap. He hugs me, and I sigh contentedly. "I love you." I say again, just to make sure last night wasn't a dream. "And I love you." He says, kissing my neck. I'm about to turn around when there's a knock at the door. I groan, but go to get it.

"I can't get it-" I start to say to one of my Pack members. Then I realize that it's the last person I want to see right now. "Hello, Andre. Can I help you?" My voice sounded as tired as I felt. He seemed to realize that something was wrong, because his arrogant smile faltered.

"I- uh- just wanted to see you. You're not busy are you? They're not making me take any classes so I have nothing to do all day." I just stare at him. He just wanted to see me? He knew I had classes.

I sigh when he doesn't get the message. "No Andre, I have classes. Which I'm going to attend like a good little girl." I hated stating the obvious. But he still didn't get it.

"Oh okay. Maybe I could just wait here for you."

I rolled my eyes. At that point, Dimitri chose to stand up and cross his arms menacingly. I held back laugher and then added, "Ya. I'm sure you and Dimitri will get along just great. Have fun with that." I start to push past his now half-cowering body. He turned and started walking with me. This guy just wouldn't take a hint.

"Well maybe I could come with you to your classes? I'm sure your teachers wouldn't mind." I shake my head, looking up at the sky to ask the God I didn't believe in what I did to deserve this silently.

"No, I'm pretty sure they would." He sighs and stops. I keep walking, not really caring what he does. But the stupid guy suddenly lit up, and ran to catch me.

"I'm sure if I ask politely enough, Lissa will let me stay. She can grant me permission." I sighed again, knowing he was right.

"Fine. But so help me if you distract me or any of my Pack members at all during your visit, I will kick your ass so hard you won't be able to sit for months."

He smiled like the jackass he was and said simply, "You're so pretty when you're angry." And then he had the nerve to reach up and tuck some of my hair back into place. I threw up in my mouth and slapped his hand so hard he stumbled back. Then I said in a low voice, "Next time, it'll be ten times harder and at your face." He visibly gulped, and I strode off, leaving him standing there.

The rest of the day was boring and annoying. The one upside was that Valentine's Day was that week, and then Dimitri would be off of suspension. I kept that in mind as I went through the boring arithmetic and notes.

February fourteenth was an interesting day to say the least. I woke up to a kiss from Dimitri. I smiled and pulled him closer. Kylie and Abby both giggled, and I remembered that they existed. I stopped and pushed him away. Kylie sighed and Abby said in an exasperated voice, "Oh, its okay. It's not like we didn't know already anyways. And we promise not to tell." Dimitri looked at me and shrugged. I laughed and then pulled him in again. Kylie laughed, "Isn't young love nice?" After several more minutes of them spying on my and Dimitri's moment, I had to get up for school. I quickly threw on my black skinny jeans, a blue tank top, and a black leather jacket. I rolled the sleeves up and then added a big heart necklace. Satisfied, I went to smear on some make up. When that was finally done, I went to meet Dargan for another fun filled day of running.

During lunch, Dimitri and I ate a picnic at the cliff. It was very romantic, and I made sure to show him my appreciation. The rest of the day I ignored my teachers, trying to strategize for playing with only nine people. It was going to be tough, but I thought I might be able to manage if we didn't get some ridiculously hard Pack or Objective. Battle time came, and I was giving my Pack a not-so-convincing pep talk back in the dorm. To top off the great mood, Andre popped in. I would have yelled at him as soon as he set foot inside the place except for the fact that Lissa ran up to him, hugging and laughing. He grinned at me over her back, and I made a gagging motion. Classy, I know.

"Just wanted to tell you all that I'll be rooting for you. Hope none of you die." He said the last part with a little laugh, like it was funny. No one else laughed.

"We're kind of busy." My cold voice was like a slap in his face, but he just nodded and smiled.

"I figure you'll be even busier later." That joke got a laugh out of Matt, but no one cared. It was Matt. "Anyways, see you later. Good luck." And then he was gone, and I lightened up again.

"So let's get down their and kick ass. I will not let this guy," I pointed at Dimitri affectionately, "ruin our winning streak." Everyone cheered and laughed, and then we trooped down to the Arena, one member short.

It was another night fight, only this time, when we stepped out onto the Arena, there was nothing but tall grass. The trees had all been cleared, the bases were gone. Just tall grass blowing in the mountain's wind. I could even see where the other Pack's gate would be open about a mile away. I run up to Dargan, not liking the looks of it at all. Sure enough, Dargan didn't even hand me a map. All he said was, "Death match," right before he sent me away. I grimaced and looked at the other Alpha. He was a big, buff guy; probably one of the bigger sophomores at Littman. Just great. A death match was a simple fight. Last Pack standing won. Dimitri was our best fighter. We were doomed.

I went back to my Pack with the news, and they groaned. "Don't let this get you down you guys. We still have a chance," I lied through my teeth. Without the canopy of trees, I was able to see Harks in his booth way up high. He was grinning evilly, and I knew that this was his doing. Harks was sick of us winning so he was putting an end to it. Plain and simple. I sighed and turned back to my team.

"Alright guys. Here's the deal. I've seen these people practice. They're tall and good, but we can take them." Another lie. "If we match their weaknesses to our strengths, it won't even be a competition." _What weaknesses?_ I asked myself. "So Kylie, you take one of the Guardians. Nick, you take a Heks. Abby and Matt take the Genezers. Paul and Sam, you take the Jaegers. Jean, take the other Heks. Lissa, you're with me. I hope you're all ready. It's gonna be a hard match." They all nodded, my fake plan seeming to have given them hope. Too bad it was about to be crushed.

The whistle sounded, and their Pack started running towards us. The Diefs disappeared quickly, and the Genezers and Heks stayed far back. The Jaegers sent their pets, a dog and a mountain lion, charging ahead of them, standing just in front of the Heks and Genezers. The Guardians were a little behind the pets, but still coming fast. I made a few hand motions, whispered a few things, and then we split up. In a few moments I had 'killed' the dog and ran ahead. Paul and Sam were no where to be seen, and Lissa was following me as I charged the Alpha I had shaken hands with.

He charged just as fast, so at the last moment I tucked my feet and slid. This was the wrong move. The thick grass stopped me almost immediately. Luckily, he was running to fast to counter my immediate stop with more than a slice to the shoulder. His heavy axe could have done a lot more than that. I had nicked his thigh. In a moment, I felt a cool sensation where I had been injured. I looked down for a split second and saw that Lissa had healed the scratch. "Save your strength for the bigger stuff." I called without taking my eyes off of my opponent.

After a few clashes and many cuts, I had bested him. I was amazed by my own strength. Suddenly, Lissa screamed. She had been cut by an unseen Dief. But I saw him as he made his way back into the shadows. Quick as I could, I whipped out a small knife and thrown it at the air right in front of the place I had seen him vanish. It tumbled end over end, but found its target with a low thud. The Dief was suddenly visible, and fell out of the shadows onto the ground.

I ran over to Lissa. She had been 'killed' by a stab in the back. Then I went over to the Dief. She had been hit in the same place as Lissa, only in the front. Both of them would survive thanks to the more experienced Genezers that would get them in a few moments. I quickly left so that they could come.

My eyes scanned the area, and I saw too many things, and too few things to know what had happened. So instead I screamed, "Report!" at the top of my lungs. It took me a few moments to realize that no one was going to answer. I gulped. "Regroup!" I yelled. They did respond to that. Within 30 seconds, I had the survivors of my Pack around me. Kylie and Nick were both alive (though Bowser and Boo had both been subdued), as Abby.

"Guardian Beta neutralized!"Kylie said. "Genezers one and two done. But so is Matt." Abby whispered. "I saw Sam and Paul take out both of the Jaegers, but then Jaeger 2's pet got Sam. Paul was finished by two." I nodded, trying to take it in stride. "Heks one and two are both finished," Nick said. I knew that Jean hadn't survived. "Lissa was killed by Dief 1, who I killed. Guardian Alpha is also gone. Dief two is still out there. Which means it's just him and the Jaeger's pet." They nodded, and I felt some sense of pride. We hadn't died. Yet.

I had us form a ring facing outwards so that if any of us were hit, we would know where the enemy was. We all just stood at the ready. It took two hours of suspense before a knife was lodged into the bone in my shoulder. I grit my teeth to avoid screaming. Kylie and Nick both noticed immediately, shooting arrows like crazy to the area where the knife had come from. The sky flashed behind us and we all heard a boom of thunder. "Jaeger's pet is dead. I hope I didn't actually kill it." Poor thing. That means that the Dief is the only thing standing between us and an impossible victory.

Suddenly, another knife comes at me, this time into my thigh from the side. This time I can't help it. I look down, gasping in pain and keel over. The pain is unbearable. There's an even brighter flash of light, followed by more thunder, and then I see a Dief lying on the ground, our eyes meeting. He smiles, and I laugh. Smiling when you've just been struck by lightning is like giving Karma the finger. Or Abby I guess. The thought makes me laugh again, and then I black out from the pain.

When I wake up, I'm in the hospital wing. Again. The first thing I do is laugh. We won! Our streak was intact and I'm grinning like a stupid kid. I go home to tell Dimitri. But he's already heard the news, and we celebrate with the rest of the Pack. I let everyone onto the Balcony, and we party like there's no tomorrow. I actually intake some alcohol, but not enough to make me drunk. We celebrate and cheer, because that was all we had to get through, and everyone is fine. We got through it.

The doorbell rings. I open the door, and Andre is just standing there, smiling. His arms are extended like he wants a hug. I laugh and slam the door in his face. What a great day. Dimitri is waiting for me with open arms, and I spend the rest of the night snuggling with him under the stars. The Pack lets us have our night, and in the morning I feel like nothing can break or beat me. I feel invincible.

**Okay so to make up for how horrible it is that I said I was going to post this chapter soon and then didn't, I tried to make it extra long. The next chapter actually is coming, just after Christmas. Reviews please, even just to tell me that it's horrible that I didn't write sooner. Merry Holidays! (Can't offend haha)**


	22. Broken

**Here's the deal. It was really hard for me to write this chapter. You'll know why when you read. If you hate it, review and tell me. Just know that it was necessary and that I **_**do**_** know what I'm doing. Read on.**

Chapter 23

Did I ever mention how much I _really hate _Wednesdays? I mean seriously they're like the evil villain of my week. Everyone always says that Mondays suck but they're wrong. It's Wednesdays that are the worst. They're not even important to the week, just fillers. I mean who would come up with the idea that there needed to be another day in between Tuesday and Thursday? Seriously the week is already long enough. My Wednesdays were never easy, but the one after Valentines Day sucked even more than most of them ever do.

Dimitri and I were watching a senior Pack practice. Actually, they were _the_ senior Pack. They were the oldest Pack in the school and had the best rankings in their year. The practice was boring, and they didn't do anything that we hadn't already done or thought about doing. So I was mainly just focusing on Dimitri. He looked so hot right then. But we couldn't do anything in public, not even hold hands. And I shouldn't have been staring at him. I just couldn't help it. As I looked at his face, I noticed that there was a knot in his jaw. He was clenching it. I studied the rest of him and realized that he was frustrated about something. Come to think of it, he had been frustrated all day. I guess I just hadn't noticed.

"Dimitri, what's wrong?" I asked in a voice that was concerned in a controlled way. I didn't want anybody to think that I cared for him any more than I should.

He turned his head slightly, gave me a cold look, and said, "Nothing." Then he stood and walked away. I felt as though I had just been slapped. I didn't understand why he was so upset. I didn't think I had done anything, but couldn't be sure. Maybe he was just stressed. Chewing my lip, I decided that it was best to give him time to cool off. I watched him go, and waited a reasonable time until getting up and leaving myself. There was nothing to see here.

The stables were cool and calm, but I felt little of it. I saddled Blackjack, only to unsaddle her again on impulse. I hopped on and rode him bareback to the cliff. When I made the final turn, I saw that getting onto the cliff would be impossible; it wasn't there anymore. I saw the view, but the thing had been destroyed. Almost like someone blew it up. I yelled in frustration and then decided to just go back. I gave Blackjack a carrot and then left.

The scene at the Dorm was not at all good. First of all, Abby was crying in the hallway again. I sat down next to her, resisting the urge to sigh. "What's wrong, sweetie?" She turned and started crying on my shoulder. I again resisted the urge to sigh and started stroking her hair. She slowly calmed down enough to tell me that Matt had been tactless enough to ask her how to ask out Kylie. He had apparently asked it in a way that put emphasis on the fact that it was Kylie he was asking. Jackass. Making me deal with this. I shushed her and offered some words of comfort. After a while we went inside.

That was when I found the dorm in complete and utter chaos. It felt like the first day again. Sam was reading on his own, Nick was arguing with Matt using wild hand gestures, Paul was kicking a soccer ball at a wall, Dimitri and Kylie were both missing, and Lissa looked about five seconds away from slapping Jean in the corner. I sighed and went back into the hallway. I really did not want to deal with it just then. Just as I shut the door, Dimitri rounded the corner from the stairs. He looked at me, his eyes as cold as they had ever been.

"Dimitri, what's wrong?" I asked nervously. He stopped, looked at me for a minute, and then turned and walked away. I was suddenly so angry. I knew it was the fire, but that didn't help at all. What had I possibly done to make him so angry? He had said he loved me. You couldn't love someone one day and hate them the next. It just wasn't fair. It wasn't right. It pissed me off. "Dimitri, what the hell is wrong with you? Did I do something wrong?" The anger left my tone at the last part. I was already having a bad day. I didn't need this on top of it.

He turned to me, clearly frustrated now. "I don't know Rose, did you? Did you do anything that you haven't told me? See something? See some_one_?" I looked at him blankly for a minute before getting even angrier.

"I've already told you! Nothing happened with Andre! I hate him okay? Why don't you get that?"

Any hope I had that the other Packs wouldn't hear our raised voices vanished when Dimitri shouted, "I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT ANDRE! WHAT HAPPENED ON HALLOWEEN ROSE?" He lowered his voice, trying to calm himself down. "You need to tell me the whole story. What really happened between you and Alex?"

I was at a loss for words. For a moment I just stood there. Then I said, in a voice that I hoped would hurt him badly, "Nothing happened before that the entire school doesn't know. Halloween, he came back and tried force himself on me. He wanted me to go back with him. But I held him off and he left when you came. I didn't tell you because I didn't want my sick, twisted life to be open to the whole school again. Do you know what that was like; everyone knowing the worst possible parts of your life? No, of course you don't. You're life isn't a horror book. And until you know what that's like, _don't judge me._ You have no idea what the hell I've been through."

I turned away and left him standing there. At the door to our Dorm, I turned back. He looked regretful, but I was so mad at him for bringing back all of those thoughts, for not trusting me, for being an ass. I put the final nail in the coffin. "You were gluing me back together. Piece by piece, you were healing me. Why did you have to break me again?" His whole face dropped, but I didn't care. I went through the door, fighting the urge to cry. I had to be strong. I had to make it to the balcony.

When I walked into the girls' room, I saw that Kylie was crying tool. What was up with us girls today? Stupid guys were messing us up. The reason behind her tears was much more superficial than Abby's and mine. She had caught Sam checking out a junior girl walking past. I sighed and told her it was nothing. I couldn't handle it right then. I needed to be on my balcony.

She looked at me for a moment and then told me that I must be right. Then she went into a full blown one sided conversation about how Sam _couldn't_ not like her because fate couldn't be _that_ cruel. I was snapped out of my self-absorbed thoughts when she asked, "Rose, what's wrong? You seem distracted."

"Just tired." I lied and then forced a smile. "But I'll get over it." She nodded, not noticing that clearly, something was very wrong. But then, that's the life of a leader. Always the one helping others through weakness, never showing their own. I told her I had work to do on the balcony and went outside. I drew the blinds so she couldn't see that I was just trying to get away from her. I slumped into my chair, trying not to focus on anything in particular. I knew that I was in serious danger of falling into the clutches of self pity.

But how could I not? My life sucked. Even when I thought it didn't, it did. My mom had been murdered by ex-best friend, who had tried to force himself on me and kidnap me on the same night. The cliff that offered me solitude was gone. My boyfriend, the last remaining good thing in my life, had just exploded on me for not sharing my gruesome past and no one cared. I realized too late that I had just drowned in it. Tears started plopping onto my lap. _My life sucked_.

Just when I let the tears start really falling, I heard a tap on the glass. I ignored it until it grew too loud. I wiped my tears, hoping I wasn't too much of a wreck. "What do you want?" I nearly shouted at Jean. She was confused, and then it vanished.

"You and Dimitri broke up." It wasn't a question. But how did she know when I didn't?

"Whatever," I said, turning away. I thought we were just having a fight. Did he think something else? Had he been telling them that?

As if reading my mind, she answered, "No. I just knew." I turned and stared at her. Sheepishly, she admitted, "I have a confession to make. I can sense things, like emotions, in other people's thoughts." I stared at her. I didn't need this. She had no right to be going through my mind. Then I thought about my first day with her, how I had felt all warm and fuzzy about her. "And I can kind of affect people's moods."

I shouted at her, "Get out of my head! It's private!" She shook her head.

"I wish I could. It's not something I can control. The people I read can control what I see, but I can't stop the flow. I see what you output. Your emotions are out of control right now, so it's like I can actually read your mind."

"If you can't control it then just get away from me!"

"No! I want to help you." And I did feel better. Until I saw that her face was a mask of concentration and realized that she was doing this to me.

"Stop it!" I yelled. She did, and the pain crept back in. I slumped down to the ground, backing into the corner of the railing. "Just get away from me," I whispered. She obliged, and I was left with myself again. My lonely old self I had kept myself company when Alex left. I could survive on my own. I _would_ survive on my own. As I sat there, huddled in the corner of my balcony, I built a wall. A wall that I would let no one past. Ever. Again.


	23. Song

**Okay…I know I haven't been posting lately but I swear I have a good excuse. I have sports and school and NO SOCIAL LIFE AT ALL! But oh well…you guys don't care about that. In fact, most of you won't even read this. But that's okay because I like to hear myself talk **

**Disclaimer: Don't own VA, wish I did**

Chapter 24

I waited a long while before going in to bed. My tears had dried long ago, but I still hadn't been able to stand. The fact that _he_ came out onto the balcony after a while finally made me stand. I ignored him, just wanting to get away. My bed was waiting with open arms, and I fell asleep quickly, despite the thoughts raging in my head.

The next day was tinged with awkward, everyone treading on thin ice around myself and Dimitri. Everyone except Kylie had heard Dimitri and my argument, and she had been filled in after our one sided conversation. She apparently felt really bad. Oh well, not like I had expected any different. I threw myself into my work, not caring about what they or anyone else thought. Andre left, but I didn't say goodbye. He had caused enough trouble as it was, and I didn't want Dimitri getting jealous over my talking to Andre. I hadn't been talking to Dimitri except when it was necessary, but our scores hadn't reflected it.

We still hadn't lost a battle, and had gained three more badges for the end of month tournaments. People were starting to talk about moving us to the Junior League, but Harks and I both knew we weren't ready as a Pack. He seemed to sense that something was wrong with me, and called me to his office.

The hallway was silent, as usual, but today it had an eerie effect. I felt like I was in a horror movie, like someone should be yelling at me not to go through the door. As I lifted my hand to open the door, I heard Harks talking. He was on the phone, and didn't seem happy, so I listened decided to listen in.

"I don't care what it takes, we can't give any hint that something's wrong…No, I don't want to have to tell you what to do! You should know! …Alright. I expect this to be sorted out by the next time we talk. Goodbye." His call ended abruptly, and then I heard him stand. Startled, I sprinted backwards and turned around just in time for him to open the door. I tried to look like I had been walking in.

He was straightening his tie, looking like he needed a glass of strong scotch. "Rose, just in time. Please, come in." He stepped aside, allowing me entrance. I sit down in the same seat as I did when he 'tested' me to become a Guardian, when he moved me to Sophomore League, and when I just about killed him for holding me late right before telling me we had a practice. I was waiting for the worst.

"So, how's your life going? I know you're doing well in studies, but how is life outside of school work, with your classes going? I trust you're getting along well with your Pack?" I knew this wasn't a usual meeting between a Guardian and Judge, so I figured something was up. I decided to play it cool.

Because honestly, what was I going to say? 'Well, I broke up with the boyfriend I wasn't allowed to have because the jerk that I used to like made him jealous and then I overreacted and even though I'm doing the best anyone has ever done at this school and have all the friends and am acing my classes, I'm unhappy and it's not even because I'm PMSing, I'm just like this permanently.' Yeah, that's going to go great.

"Ya, everything's great!" I said as brightly as I could without being sarcastically happy. You know what I mean. Anyways, Judge Harks sighed, and leaned forward, as if sharing a secret with a friend.

"Rose, you don't have to lie for him. We've been watching you, and know what he did." I did a double take. They knew? Crap! They were going to take Dimitri away again, something I didn't think I could handle, no matter how angry I was with him. I tried not to collapse, to lie it off.

"I don't know what you're talking about. He never did anything."

"Rose, it's okay. Andrei's gone now. He can't hurt you." Andrei? Oh, right. I resisted the urge to let out a huge sigh of relief and just put on a blank face.

"No really, I don't know what you're talking about. Can I go now?" Harks sighed, but nodded.

"If you ever want to talk, Rose, we're here." I nod and leave. The flood of emotions at the thought of Dimitri being gone confused me. So I did the only thing I knew how: tried to tuck my chin and bottle it up. To effectively block out the thoughts, I went to the on-campus movie theater. The film being played was some cheesy animation about an evil genius who adopts three little girls. It was supposed to be funny, but I wasn't really paying enough attention to get the jokes.

Halfway through the movie I walked out, tired of being startled out of thoughts by other people's laughter. I needed somewhere I could go alone, but they took my cliff. I ran through a list of possible places and finally settled on the Performing Arts Center. It was usually deserted, so I wouldn't have any trouble.

The first clue that something was happening came when I saw that the door was open. I didn't really notice, consumed by my own thoughts, and opened the door before I realized that there were also sounds coming from inside.

It was Dimitri, strumming his guitar and singing a song that just about broke my heart:

_You whisper that you're getting tired,_

_Got a look in your eyes, looks a lot like goodbye_

_Hold onto your secrets tonight; don't want to know,_

_I'm okay with the silence. It's truth that I don't want to hear._

_You're hiding regret in your smile,_

_There's a storm in your eyes I've seen coming for a while_

_Hang onto the past tense tonight,_

_Don't say a word, I'm okay with the quiet, the truth is gonna change everything_

_So lie to me and tell me that it's gonna be alright_

_Lie to me and tell me that we'll make it through the night_

_I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart,_

_Just look me in the eye, and lie, lie, lie_

His voice was beautiful, despite the hurt inscribed there. I gasped at the melody and the music cut off. He had heard. For a moment, everything was dead silent as our eyes met. Then, he got up, turned on his heel, and walked away. I could have sworn I saw a tear in his eye.

The jumbled thoughts in my mind swelled, but I refused to give them the stage in my mind. They would just have to deal with my subborness.


	24. Talks

**Okay so I've had writers block for a while now but today I hope to conquer it. So here we go. **

Chapter 25

As confusing as finding Dimitri was, I couldn't let it phase me. He had broken up with me behind my back after going crazy jealous on me. I was better off without him. Right? Over the next few days I tried to convince myself of that and stay strong, which wasn't that easy when you spent every minute of every day with him. Not to mention the fact that our hands couldn't help but brush in the halls when we weren't breathing down each other's necks sparring.

A week later, after one such occasion, when he had actually fallen on top of me, I was walking back to the dorms alone. I needed to take deep breaths and focus on the jerk he had been. As I passed by the commons, I heard a horrendously high giggle. I held my breath and turned back. Mia was sitting in Dimitri's lap, her hands all over him. He was smiling his lazy smile, which made the whole thing so much worse. The little bitch looked up at me, her smug eyes taunting me. I realized she didn't even really like him. She was just trying to get to me. So I did the thing I thought would annoy her most. I smiled, gave her a thumbs-up like we were best friends, and mouthed the words good job. Her smile faltered and I stifled a laugh while climbing up the stairs.

I held it together until I got to the balcony, then fell apart again. All thought of my getting back together after the song vanished. I didn't even know if he had been talking about me then. Who else had he been with? How long had that been going on? I didn't know what was happening to the world around me. I allowed myself a single sob and then bottled the rest of it up. So when the Pack and Lissa came home, they saw only the mask that I had glued on. Kylie and Lissa knocked on the glass door to the balcony. I opened it but kept myself positioned so that they couldn't come out. There was something about this being my safe place lately, like it was something sacred, and I didn't want it disturbed.

"Us girls are thinking of going shopping this weekend. Come with?" Lissa had a look on her face I couldn't quite place for a minute. Then I realized it was like she was talking to someone fragile. She was trying to extend on olive branch. How far we had grown apart since the beginning of the year.

"It'll be super fun we promise!" I smiled at Kylie's obliviousness. She obviously didn't understand that as her Alpha, I wasn't supposed to go out with them. Then I thought, _Screw that. I've been isolated long enough._

"Sure, sounds fun." I made my smile a little more genuine and told them we could go tomorrow. Lissa brightened, as if she had been expecting a no. They went to go fix dinner and I sat back down. The sunset was brilliant on the horizon. You could just see it over the tips of the trees, making them glow while setting the sky ablaze in a flurry of pink and orange.

I needed a way to connect with my Pack that wouldn't tear my wall down. I decided to hold a meeting before dinner.

"Okay guys. I know I haven't been here that much recently, but I feel like we've grown apart a lot. I don't want to be just your Alpha. I want to be your friend. So after dinner I'll call each of you out to the balcony and we'll talk about whatever you want. Sound good?" Everyone nodded, the most excited Lissa, the least excited Dimitri. We finished eating the chicken, rice, and green beans, the conversation a lot less strained than usual.

I decided to start with the least painful and work my way up the scale. "Lissa," I called. She came out onto the balcony and gasped at the sight of all the stars and the near black forest below us. "It's quite pretty, right?" She nodded and I smiled. "Sit, please." She did and I turned to her. "What do you want to talk about?"

She went into a discussion about how amazing Nick was and I smiled. I told her that he was great and then said I thought maybe there was a future for the two of them. She squealed, hugged me, and then went inside.

Paul talked about soccer and how his team was doing. Kylie talked about Sam, who read the entire time. Abby talked about Matt who talked about Lissa (what a girl hahahahaha).

When Nick came out, I knew it was trouble. He brought a flower. "So Nick…what do you want to talk about?" I just hoped it wasn't me.

"I know you and Dimitri had a falling out, and I just wanted to let you know that I'm always here for you." He scooted his chair a little closer, and inside I shuddered. I so did not need this right now. "I'm really glad you gave us this chance to talk, Rose. I've always kind of felt like maybe one day, we would end up together." And then he kissed me. I so did not need this right now.

I grabbed his neck and arm and flipped him over roughly, pinning him to the ground face down. "No offense, Nick, but I really just can't deal with that right now. Dismissed." I turned away so I didn't have to read his face while he left.

He sent Jean out. She looked a little scared, clearly picking up on my frustration with Nick. I turned around, taking a deep breath. "What do you want to talk about, Jean?"

She looked at the ground, got a determined look on, and said the last thing I wanted to hear. "Dimitri. Dimitri and you, I guess. You two need to get back together. The Pack was working fine, and then you broke up and now Lissa is inside crying because she saw what Nick did and Nick's angry that you embarrassed him and Matt's mad because Lissa's crying which has made Abby cry. Sam's not even here anymore, Kylie's sobbing, and Dimitri's just sitting there, completely blank. The whole place is falling apart!" Her voice had picked up speed and volume. I turned away, leaning on the railing.

"It's not that simple." She started to protest, then picked up on the image of Mia and Dimitri, the song, and my mixed feelings on the subject. The whole shebang. She fell silent.

"You still have to try, if not for the Pack then for that half that wants you to," she said quietly. I nodded at the moon. When I turned around, Dimitri was looking at me instead of Jean.

He also had a determined look on his face. Oh boy, this would be fun.


	25. Break

**Okay so I kind of left you on a bit of a cliff hanger there but don't fear, imam try to update more frequently now. I'm also looking into entering another story for Maximum Ride that I've been working on more recently along with a story that I will co-write with one of my favorite authors on this site. Very exciting stuff. Without further adieu, here is the next chapter.**

Previously:

_When I turned around, Dimitri was looking at me instead of Jean. He also had a very determined look on his face. Oh boy, this would be fun._

Chapter 26

"Listen, Rose…" he struggled to find words for a moment, and I used the time to brace myself against the words that were to come. "I know you heard my song the other day." I was careful to keep the emotions I felt from showing on my face. The confusion, sadness, anger, and regret that I'd been fighting the last week didn't appear on my face, but he made a strange expression anyways. I wondered if he had seen it in my eyes. Carefully, he said, "I just wanted to make sure you didn't get the wrong impression. The song was written by the drummer, not me. I was just rehearsing my part in it."

I nodded, feeling more than a little stupid at my reaction. Here I had been, having a moral battle about wanting and not wanting him, when he had never even been trying to get me back. I swallowed down the tears threatening to form in my eyes. "Of course you were. What else would I get from that? Is that all?" He made that face again, but I couldn't decipher it before he turned away, giving a small "Yep," before going through the door.

Did I miss something? I sat down in shock, trying to figure out what just happened. He never really wanted to get back together. He was just playing a song for his band. He didn't mean it. The realization wiped any conflicting thoughts away. I didn't want him. He could have Mia, or whoever the hell he wanted. His love life was no longer my concern. With that mind frame, I could allow myself to be civil with him. He hadn't been toying with me, and, after all, I _was_ the one to break up with him. We could even be friends, if he still felt like it.

Something in the back of my mind was whispering, _You can't be friends with him. You don't want to be just friends. He means more than that to you. This isn't going to work. _

I squashed the thoughts quickly. _**You're wrong. I don't care about him like that anymore. He hurt me, and I don't need him anymore.**_

The voice scoffed. _If you don't care about him like that, then why did you put up a fight after the song? And you need him more than you think._

On that eerie note, the voice was gone, and I was left alone in my head again. I went to bed more easily that night, with little conflicting thoughts and no major problems.

The next day, Lissa, Jean, Abby, Kylie, and I all got dressed in a hurry, wanting to get to the stores early. When we were past the security gates in the school, we started using our respective abilities to travel quickly through the forest on the side of the road. We didn't have a car at the ready, and this was more fun anyways. I ran, my Guardian skills allowing me faster speeds than any of them. Kylie road on Bowser's back, the huge dog keeping pace with me easily. Abby, Lissa, and Jean used their magic to fly along, slowing down to stay with us. The mall was only a few miles away, so we were there within ten minutes. I was breathing hard, panting almost as loudly as Bowser. "I feel you, buddy," I said as I sat down heavily on the bench at the door. Kylie, Lissa, and Abby all laughed at me. "Sick 'em," I said playfully, petting his shaggy back and scratching his oversized ears. This only made them laugh harder.

"We missed you, Rose," Lissa said with shining eyes. I smiled big and said sincerely, "I missed you guys." We walked into the mall with the moment of fuzziness surrounding us. All of the stores were fun, and by the end of the day, each of us was carrying at least three bags. We walked back, taking our time and enjoying the moment. I have to say, it was one of the best days I had all year. That is, until Mia ruined it.

We got back and decided to grab a bite at the cafeteria. Mia and some of her Pack members were sitting at their table, which was right next to ours. As soon as we enter, they giggle and glance over at us, clearly laughing at us. I tell the girls to ignore it and we take our seats. Determined to piss me off, Mia gets up and walks over.

"Rose, I was wondering if we could talk. See, I need advice." Her voice was mock-friendly.

"And what makes you think I would give it to you?" I asked in a bored voice, trying not to let my complete disgust with her general personality show through.

"Well, I figure since we've both gotten it in with Dimitri, we might as well be friends." There was a loud crash and my chair fell down as I jumped up and slapped her. Oops. So much for self control.

"How dare you, you little bitch. First of all, I would never do that, he's my second in command. Second of all, he would never, ever do something as disgusting as you." She just laughed and walked away, clearly happy with the reaction she got from me. When she was about to sit back down, she murmured a word, and my drink splashed itself on me. At this point Abby and Jean were keeping me from strangling her while Kylie and Lissa calmly walked over and knocked her lunch off the table, kicked her out of the chair, and then walked away. They dragged me out of the Cafeteria while I shouted profanity at her.

Happy mood shattered.

Two days later, our fourth battle of the month, was against Mia's team. Our objective was to capture their Genezers but kill the rest of the Pack, and blowing up the base was bonus; theirs was to infiltrate and destroy our base. They didn't have to kill all of us, but it was the usual bonus.

We had almost all of them killed, with one of the Genezers trapped by Matt and Abby in a special Magic bubble that stopped him from healing any of his own Pack. Their base was long gone. The last Genezer was guarded by Mia, the sole remaining target. Nick, Kylie, Jean, Sam, and Paul had already been taken out. Dimitri and I were walking with Lissa in between us, carefully listening and looking for any signs of them. Matt and Abby were hidden away safely at our base.

I heard a rustle in the bushes, and then suddenly a ball of fire was flying straight at me. I spun Psych in a flurry, dispersing any and all of the flames. Dimitri blocked a similar flame, but Lissa wasn't so lucky. She didn't get her shield up in time, and neither of us could get to her in time. We watched her 'die', but in 'killing' Lissa, Mia had given up her position. I let a knife fly, and narrowly missed her heart. It buried into her arm instead, and she let out a shriek of pain.

Dimitri followed my knife and had her pinned down before she could blink. "Get the Genezer," he said roughly while taking out his dagger. I immediately scanned the area surrounding us and found her hiding in a tree, scared out of her mind. An evil smile came across my face, I couldn't help it. I wrestled her out of the tree and had her arms tied and mouth shut within a minute.

I expected to find Mia dead when I came back, but instead the dagger was thrown to the ground. He was clearly having trouble subduing her. I was about to kill her when I heard her say, "Come on now, just let us win, baby. You guys win everything it's just not- " My knife in her throat cut her off. Dimitri looked up in shock.

I turned on my heel, marching the Genezer back to the camp and leaving him there with Mia. He could help her to the infirmary. I didn't care. At least, that's what I told myself. Over and over and over.

Just like that, all of my feelings about Dimitri, all my doubts and fears and hurt came back. My stress level jumped higher than it was before, and I was returned to my role as leader. My break was over.

Back to reality.


	26. Dream

**Okay so i know it's been a while but it's sumjmer now and I'm hoping to finish this story by the end of it. Once again, I HAVE A STORY LINE AND KNOW WHAT I"M DOING. So don't you even worry. I will also be working on my other story, though i don't know if I will finish it by the end of the summer.**

**So, here's chapter twenty six.**

Chapter 26

The rest of March went by in relative peace. I spoke to Dimitri as little as possible while trying my ahrdest to maintain the relationship i had found with the girls. We went on more shopping trips, hung out around the dorm, and went to the movies like normal teenage girls. It was so strange.

In other news, Nick got a girlsfriend from one of the freshman packs. This was good because she was his age (we were supposed to be freshman), but we wouldn't have to fight them (we were sophmores). Her name was Serena and we all actually liked her. She was over at our house some nights, and she seemed genuine and kind. Serena was a Genezer, and a pretty good one at that. I actually wouldn't have minded her being part of our pack. The thing i really took away from all this was that Nick's attention was finally off of me. He was content with this girl, which was good. I wanted to see him happy, even if it wasn't with me.

Matt stopped being clueless and started to notcie Abby (who was thrilled) after he overheard Kylie going on and on (and on and on and on) about Sam. They weren't a thing yet, but the glances and hand brushes were not unnoticed by me. It was cute to see the beginnings of a new relationship. Kylie was still being Kylie and Sam was still being Sam which meant that when Sam didn't respond to Kylie, she came and started complaining to us. Abby no longer cared (she would just zone out thinking of Matt), but it was annoying for Lissa and me. Still, i sat through it for one of my best friends.

In conclusion, everything was going fine. But that doesn't sound like my life, does it? Nope, it didn't last long at all. The night after we won our sixth tournament (the sixth of the year, coicidentally), I had a deep dream. I was on the balcony, spacing out looking at the moon. Suddenly, my mother appeared beside me. For some reason, this didn't bother me. Which told me it was a dream. I sometimes dreamed about my mother, but generally it was like a memory i had of her, and not a conversation.

"Rose, darling, how have you been?" She asked in a gentle, motherly tone.

"Alright i guess," I said unconvincingly. My mother, although she wasn't really ever there (she was a badass Guardian herself), knew me well enough to know when i was lying.

"Things aren't as glamorous as you thought they'd be, huh?" I nodded, and she looked at me. "Catch me up on what's going on with you. I haven't spoken to you since that day."

I cringed at the memory, but spoke. It was a dream, after all. "Well okay. I made Guardian. Alpha, actually. It's pretty sweet sometimes. I get to go to the movies and all. And my pack hasn't lost a single battle yet. In fact, halfway throught the year we were moved up to the Sophmore league. My pack is awesome. There's Nick, Kylie, Abby, Matt, Paul, Sam, Jean, Lissa, me, and Dimitri. Dimitri is my Beta..." My voice trailed off. I felt like a little kid, explaining my whole life in a few short sentances.

"Oh? Do i sense something going on with my baby and this Dimitri?" I blushed. Even as a ghost my mother embarrased me.

"Yes. Well, we had a thing, and it was awesome. I loved him. Love him. But he hurt me, and got too curious, and I just don't want to scare him away. Plus, he's got Mia now. He doesn't need me. So we're over." My mother was quiet for a long time.

"Rose, do you know the story of your father and I?" I shook my head.

"We meat when we were juniors. He was a Jaeger. I of course, was a Guardian. He came to my balcony, sang and threw pebbles at my window to get me to come out. The whole thing was very Romeo-esk. We fell in love and spent the whole year happily in each other's arms. We graduated and moved out. He of course had requested to be sent to my Pack. The request was, thankfully granted. So we lived with the Pack at our camp, fighting the evil that came our way.

"Then one day i found him with another woman. I was so furious that i ran out of the room annd locked him and the skank in. There were some loud noises and then he came out, drenched in blood. Turns out, the girl had been a dami that snuck into our camp. I thought it was a human, and left my own husband, my own Dimitri to die. We made up, he forgave me, and the rest is history. I learned to trust him. You should do the same. I don't think that you want your Dimirtri to be left alone." I was tearing up by the end of the story, and was only able to nod in response. She smiled at me with pride, as a mother smiles at a baby taking its first steps. "I love you."

"I love you too mom." My voice was choked up, but i managed to get the words out. The tears blurred me vision and when i wiped them away, she was gone. I woke up knowing what to do.

**So there it is. Kind of heart felt. I realized while writing this that a chapter i had included earlier in the story had been replaced by a different version of another chapter. Sorry for the mix up. I inserted a part and tried to fix it up, which is why this chapter is actually chapter 26. That means i also have to take a detour from the story line to insert the missing part, because it is, after all, very important. Alright. So I'm gonna get busy with the next chapter.**

**bybye**


	27. Confessions

**I'm baaaccckkkkkk. From like two minutes ago even tho to you guys it'll probably seem more like an hour. Anyways, like i said at the end of the other chapter, i have to make a slight detour from the story line I've written to make up for the error. This chapter should clear up some questions about chapters 6-11. In case i didn't say it last chapter, i also edited chapter nine. so ya. here's the real chapter twenty seven.**

**here ya go, enjoy**

Chapter 27

I woke up from my dream and knew exactly what to do.

The dorm was quiet, aside from the sound of Sam's snores. You woudn't think he did, but he sounds like a chain saw. I got up and put on my robe, which was warm and soft. Thank god for that, because when i got onto the balcony, i really just wanted to step back in. The night air was frigid. Instead, I went over to the guy door and lightly tapped. Dimirti, who had the bed closest to the door, woke up. He saw it was me and got curious.

"Yes?" My heart fluttered. His hair was slightly disheveld but not in an ugly way, and his voice was as husky as ever.

"Can we talk?" He nodded and stepped outside with me.

I went and settled by the rail as i had been the first time we kissed, looking out at the beautiful forest. He was behind me. It was a complete deja vu. Only this time, i was going to be completely honest with him. "Okay so I may have been avoiding you these past weeks. I didn't want to talk to you because i was confused. I pushed you away because I didn't want to tell you the whole, scary, messed up truth. But I love you. So if you really want to know, I'll tell you. You can ask away." I bit my lip, half hoping he would just walk away. He didn't.

"Who was it in the forest? That night?"

"Alex." My voice broke as i told him the painful truth.

"Was he here to get you?" I nodded, grateful he couldn't see the tears rolling down my cheeks. "Is he bones?" I nodded again. "Did he do anything to harm you?"

I scoffed. "You mean besides nearly killing me by giving me this lovely scar?" I held up the wrist that had been bitten. "Not while you've been here." I tried to work my way around the question by giving a half truth.

He spotted the lie in my tone and pressed me further. "What do you mean?"

I swallowed my tears and turned around. I knew he could see the puffiness in my eyes, but he didn't make a big deal about it. "Did i ever tell you what happened to my mother?" He shook his head. I choked back some more tears and took a deep breath. "She didn't die a normal war death. When Alex first thought of leaving, he brought up the idea with me. I thought he was joking, and hurt his pride in that way. When he transformed, his hurt turned into resentment and anger.

"So when my mom and I were video chatting one day over the summer, he found her. He had a group of Dami with him, and had them subdue her Pack. She thought they had gone to sleep, and didn't think twice about it. I saw Alex creep up behind my mom, but was helpless to do anything but watch as he knocked her unconcious. He said hi before turning into a vicious mountain lion and murdering her. In front of me. It was the worst thing I've ever seen. I found out the next day he did something similar to my father and brother. He- he's a monster." I broke down. Dimitri came over and took me in his arms. He sat us down and held me for a while.

"I'm so sorry, Rose. I'm so sorry. You're sake now. It's gonna be alright." We sat that way for the rest of the night, comforted by each other.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping. Something was wrong, but i coulnd't figure out what. Until I opened my eyes. I was still in Dimitri's arms. He was looking out at the forest, clearly in deep thought. He looked troubled, and i wanted to lighten the mood. "So do I snore?" I asked the question jokingly. We had spent the night on the balcony before (but not gotten anywhere), so he already knew that I slept like a rock.

But he played along and jokingly said, "Yes I didn't sleep a wink. You really should get that looked at."

"Maybe if you have some time later..." I trailed off, realizing that my flirting had come back all too quickly. Thankfully, he seemed to take it as a suggestion and continued the flirt.

"As a matter of fact, I think I have some right now." He leaned down and kissed me. I was surprised and locked up. He pulled away. "I'm so sorry- I thought- after last night- and then this morning- " He was cut off as i reached up and pulled him back down to me.

"I love you," I said against his lips.

"I love you too, Rose. Always have, always will." He leaned back down to kiss me, and I sat up, stradling him on the chair.

After several minutes of heated making out, I suggested that we get to our classes. We had already missed conditioning and the first half of first period. Finally, the weeks of tormented confliction were over. I had my dream guy, my soulmate back again.

**Yay! They got back together! even if the rest of the chapter is sad...anyways, that is what the kink was. I realized that the nightmare in chapter nine and the story of Alex murdering her family was missing, and had to add it in somehow. This will only change a few things, so the story is still on track. Another chapter soon to come.**


	28. Stress

**Okay so I know that I haven't updated in a while and I'm sorry. I've just been really busy. I guess I'll always be really busy. But I'll try to update as often as possible. **

**Here's the next chapter.**

Chapter 28

The rest of April was, for the most part, calm. But knowing my life, there were a few rough patches.

Mia was even bitchier now that Dimitri had stopped flirting with her. She knew that it was because he had chosen me. Her bitchy nature drove her to tell everyone in the school a ridiculous story about finding us in an empty tool shed after practice, getting down and dirty (for the record, we had only been kissing. I would _not _get it on in a tool shed. How disgusting). We made sure that no one would believe her by fighting every now and then and keeping distance at all times when in public. People probably thought we hated each other.

She was a fighter, however, which gave cause for a social beat down. After all, the best defense is a good offense. Lissa found out an embarrassing truth about her. Her father had been a Judge at an English institute. The scandal was that he had left his wife, given up the honor of being a Judge and of helping to fight the war, to run off with his mistress. It was the second most disgraceful thing a Stridjer could do, right behind asking to be turned into a Dami. This was big, too big to pass up.

I had Kylie, Jean, and Lissa spreading the secret the next day. It was too obvious for me to be doing it, and Abby was too nice. The guys couldn't gossip to save their lives, but I did ask them to confirm the story to anyone who asked.

I knew the rumor had fully circulated when I heard Mia defending herself to her friends. "I told you guys, _he's _not my father. My mother remarried after that disgraceful son of a bitch. My _real_ father is a successful Guardian." She added a bitchy hair flip before continuing, "Why don't you guys just believe me?"

Her 'friends' looked at each other as if for reassurance before the lead one said, "Um, we just don't know how smart it is to associate ourselves with someone, um, under so much speculation." The others nodded. Ouch. I felt like someone should have been saying 'It's not you, it's me'. They looked at each other once more before the girl who talked lead the others away.

With her friends gone, Mia was broken, at least for a little while. No one listened to her anymore, so that danger was gone, at least for now.

Andre visited once, but Lissa kept him occupied so that I, thankfully, didn't have to deal with him. He was so fucking annoying. Even after months of me ignoring him, he still kept hitting on me. One day I really was going to hurt the boy. That day was not the day though, and he left without seeing me.

In other news, Mr. Fargh was still the dick I knew him to be. I now had him for my third period Tactical Theory 2 H class. He was so 'impressed' with my performance that he sometimes made me 'teach the class'. He said that it was too better the class' understanding of a successful strategist's thought process. Bullshit. He really just wanted to try and embarrass me as often as possible, calling me out on everything I did to the point where most of the time I ended up saying, "It worked, didn't it?"

He always sneered and replied, "This time. But there will come a time when it won't, and your callous use of teammates will lead to their actual deaths." I knew he was right, but the fact that he wanted to embarrass me in front of the class kind of cancelled out the life lesson part.

As the days, and battles, slipped away, I started to realize something. I was running out of ideas. This normally wouldn't have been such a problem. I could have just recycled old plans for the same situations. My situation, however, was different. Since I'd had so much success, people had begun studying my battles. Like, all of them. And my practices, and my tests. It was ridiculous, and made me certain that I wouldn't get away with reusing an idea. I had to find some way to switch up the teams, the dynamic, something.

The stress kept weighing me down, and my Pack noticed. They tried to cheer me up, and for the most part, it worked. I would come back to the dorm laughing and feeling good, and then go to bed worrying about the next battle, the next test, the next meeting. I spent hours at night thinking up new plans and, I'll admit it, snarky comebacks. I couldn't come up with all of my smart ass lines on the spot anymore. It was too much work to try and think up everything on the spot while also trying to think two steps ahead and focus on my classes.

One of my late nights, Dimitri came out onto the patio, stumbling and rubbing his eyes. "What are you still doing up? It's- " he checked his watch, "tomorrow. You should be getting sleep the big battle." I looked at him questioningly. "You know we have the start of the monthly tournament." I felt stupid for forgetting, but that was the way I my thoughts were working those days. I focused on the next battle, one step at a time.

"I am preparing," I replied instead. "I'm trying to come up with a couple of new strategies. Fargh has, once again, pointed out a few faults in my old ones."

He rolled his eyes. "You know that those strategies were near perfect, and only a few people have caught on to what you've been doing. I really can't think of any improvements."

"Well I can," I snapped. "I have a lot of pressure on me to be the best. To stay the best. And people telling me that I can and can't improve are not helping. Anyway, Fargh's right. I have to fix my mistakes."

He held up his hands in a defensive motion and said, "Jeez, just trying to help. Anyways, you're driving yourself crazy stressing about this. Your plans work just fine."

"My plans kill people," I said sharply. "I can't take these deaths easily, and neither can you. I mean, in the real world, our friends, our family, could die because of my plans. They need to be perfect."

He studied me for a moment, then shook his head and went back inside with a mumbled, "Whatever."

I felt bad about being such a bitch, but needed to finish my work. I'd apologize in the morning.

I woke with a major headache, and for the fourth time that week, to the sounds of birdsong. I picked my head off the desk and scraped the papers off of my cheek. I groaned as I thought of what Coach Dargan would say about me missing conditioning again.

I quickly showered and dressed, got breakfast and advil, then set off for second period. I was late for a presentation on a strategy assignment. Despite my tardiness, I gave an A-grade presentation and managed to get excused from Fargh's class to do research in the library. I sent a quick text to Dimirti, hoping he could get out too. I smiled when I saw him at the entrance to the library, and after apologizing profusely, we snuck off to a deserted corner.

The library was huge, so the chance of being spotted was slim. Things started slow, but then got going fast. We got to some pretty heavy romance (like half-naked, get you suspended or fired for us Guardians Romance) before the bell interrupted us.

He swept me a gallant bow after we had both put on our clothes again and asked in his husky voice, "May I walk you to class?" He offered me his arm. I rolled my eyes to keep from showing him how close I was to melting and then took his arm. As soon as we got back to public space, we scooted a little bit apart, keeping the image. But there were still side long glances and suggestive gestures that few others saw.

The rest of the day, including the big battle, went smoothly.

I personally took down four of the ten opponents, including a Dief, Guardian, Heks, and Jaeger. Our assignment was to capture their fort while killing all of them; theirs was to capture me and kill the rest. Fair enough. I gave the groups and assignments and then headed out, deliberately putting myself in my own group. I didn't want any of them messing with my team. The whole team loss lesson had really hit home with me, and I had made it a personal goal to keep all of my Pack safe.

I targeted the range first, taking down the Heks and then Jaeger. Ranged opponents were always a bitch when coupled with the massive strength of, say, a six foot two Guardian. The guy had me pinned down as soon as I reported the deaths to my Pack. He told the Dief that was with him to take off and help the others, since he had me captured.

Fortunately for me, he was pinning me wrong. His knee was too low on my legs, which allowed for my next move. I waited until the Dief had left and he was focused on the hand restraints before I jerked to my right, kneeing him in the crotch in the process. Dusting myself off, I watched as he writhed in pain on the floor. I thought to myself again how lucky I was to be a girl before running him through with _Psyche_.

I then had my team report back to me through the hidden bracelet communicators Abby had given us for Christmas. I learned that the two Genezers, a Jaeger, and the Dief remained. The Dief was still out looking for my teammates, but the other three had banded together in a last ditch effort to keep the fort. I gave out new groups and their assignments before setting off to kill the Dief. They could handle the fort.

It didn't take me long to provoke her, I was sitting on a tree branch, in plain sight when I heard the knife. It was coming from the front, so I let myself fall backward into a hanging position (jungle-gym style). I knew another knife would be coming soon and did a graceful back flip onto the forest floor, walking to the bush where the knife had come from.

She wasn't there. I looked around, getting frustrated by the fact that I now really was a sitting duck, in danger. My point was proved when a knife sank into my sword arm. I sucked it up and rolled forward, just in time to avoid two other knifes that would have gone through my stomach and heart. Bitch. I came out of my roll and threw the knife that was still dripping with my blood into the direction it had come from. I missed, but heard enough movement in the dodge to find and kill her. Finally.

I asked for a report just in time to hear the whistle. They didn't respond, but they didn't need to. It was obvious that we had won. We celebrated a little, but to be honest, we were all too tired to muster the energy for a party. Besides, it was only the quarterfinals. We would party when we won the Championship.

I was just walking back from the now-mandatory post battle debriefing when I noticed something was wrong. I had gotten an inkling when Dargan had been the one debriefing me instead of Harks, who always did it. But I had just figured that he was too busy to listen to a teenager talk about how she won. Again.

Then there was the fact that the usual post-battle party music was nonexistent. Couple that with the fact that the grounds were empty and you had yourself a situation. I started jogging, wanting the safety of my Pack. It was then that I heard the caw of a large bird, sounding almost like laughter. I remembered the cliff incident and broke into a sprint, reaching the dorms in less than a minute.

I walked into a room full of scared and shocked people. "What's wrong?" I asked, still slightly out of breath.

Dimitri walked over and answered, in a hollow voice, "It's Judge Harks, Rose. He's been captured by the Dami. And well, they're making demands."

**Duh Duh Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Anyways, sorry for the long wait, but I tried to make this chapter longer to make up for it. Also, I realized that there were some issues with chapters 5 and 6, and fixed those. I will try to update Fallen tomorrow, if I get the chance. But it'll probably be more like Wednesday. Anyways, thanks for Reading, please take the time to review. See you next time **


	29. Loss

**I updated my other MR story yesterday, as promised. So today, Imma start on this chapter. It might take me a little while cus I hv too much hw and the next few chapters are very vague concepts…so ya I will start but it might take me a little while to finish.**

**Here's a reminder of the last chapter since it was kinda really important…**

_I walked into a room full of scared and shocked people. "What's wrong?" I asked, still slightly out of breath._

_Dimitri walked over and answered, in a hollow voice, "It's Judge Harks, Rose. He's been captured by the Dami. And well, they're making demands."_

**Without further adieu, here is chapter 29**

Chapter 29

"What?" Our Judge, taken. I couldn't believe it. And demands? This was unheard of. They hated our race so much that when they captured us, they killed us immediately. This was bad. Dimitri just shook his head, mute. "Wh-what demands?"

Behind him, Abby started crying. Lissa and Jean comforted her, but I could see that they too were fighting tears. Dimitri just shook his head again. I looked around at them. I couldn't believe that such a strong team was just giving in like this. I thought I had trained them better. I knew I had trained them better. So I shouted, "Report!"

Their heads snapped up, but Abby was still crying, and Lissa and Jean were at a loss for words. Paul and Sam were lying down on the coach, shaking their heads. Nick looked away. Dimitri met my eyes, but could only shake his head. I saw tears start to well up in his eyes.

Only Kylie could utter the words, "They…they made a list. They want all of the teachers to leave immediately. And then…they want," her eyes were brimming with tears now. "They want you and us. They want our Pack, Rose. They asked for us specially. Why would they do that?" Her voice broke on the question, and I just pulled her into a hug, shushing her calmly.

"It's alright. It's going to be alright. We're going to make it alright." I just kept saying those words, over and over. I wished Jean would just calm everybody down. I stared at her for about five minutes before she realized what I was asking. I felt a warm breeze creep in, and Kylie calmed down a little bit. I sat her down on the coach and started rubbing her back. I then turned to Dimitri.

"How long do we have?" Jean's work seemed to have woken him up a little.

"End of the week. I don't know what the teachers are planning, but I expect they'll want to see us about all of this soon." I nodded.

"We might as well go there." I noticed some of them had already changed and decided something. "Everyone back in uniform. We are going to do this as a Pack, proudly and honorably." They all nodded and went to change back, which left me, Dimitri, and Lissa. None of us had changed, and I figured that was for the best. It gave us time to figure out a plan.

"We are going to march in order to the hall. I know that some of them are scared, and need to know that you two will stay strong. I need you to help me keep them calm. Can you do that?" They both nodded, and I turned away. I didn't want them to see me so close to crying. I needed to regain my composure, fast. Dimitri put a hand on my shoulder, and I took a deep breath, feeling a little better.

My Pack came back, and I explained the formation we would be taking down the halls and through the campus. I would be in front, with Dimitri slightly behind me. Next would be Matt and Abby, then Lissa and Jean, then Paul and Sam, and finally Nick and Kylie. We were in a defensive formation. The spread of the Klases left room for attack and defense, and the two columns just looked good.

We walked out of the Dorm, our faces set. We passed people on our way out, staring at us. Some of them, the younger ones, looked sorry for us. But the older, smarter ones got it. They met our eyes with respect, realizing that we were doing the right, honorable thing. I even had a couple of seniors salute me. I gave returned the gesture, but didn't stop. We didn't even jog like I normally do. We marched the whole way. It took about ten minutes, but none of us complained. We were facing our fate with dignity.

We arrived at the Administrative offices, and I sighed. They had put nasty old Fargh in charge. I couldn't say this of course, and I was trying to be honorable. But still. Really? He looked up from the Judge's desk. "Ah. Very good. I don't have to get you." I nod and salute. He waves away my gesture. "No need to be formal, Rose. I suspect you already realize that we aren't just going to hand you over." Actually, that was exactly what I had been expecting. I had also expected him to be a huge dick about everything. But he was being very professional, and I started to think that maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

"We are going to continue school as normal for the rest of the week. Meanwhile, I'm going to send out a search and rescue team, composed of about half of the teachers. I want you to do your best to stay calm, and try to keep people around you calm. Whether you know it or not, you are an icon around here. The others look up to you, as a Guardian and as a person." Wow. That was one of the biggest compliments I'd ever gotten. I almost wanted to ask if I'd heard him right, but figured that would take away from it.

"Yes, sir." I saluted again, and turned around to leave.

"One more thing," he called me back. "Keep on the lookout for anything and everything. Don't talk about what I've mentioned to you about the search party. Don't talk about what was said here. Something strange is going on, and we need to find out what before it's too late." I nodded and left.

The next day continued, almost normal. But it was weird. I kept a constant surveillance going. I knew I was acting paranoid, but what was I supposed to do? After hearing Fargh, I couldn't help it. I scanned everything constantly, not wanting to be surprised by anything. If I was jumpy, I tried not to show it. I kept in mind the whole stay calm thing, and was able to comfort a lot of the freshman and younger kids that were so scared. I actually noticed what Fargh had been saying, about how they looked up to me. Even a couple of juniors and seniors were looking to me.

The weirdest thing by far was the fact that they were continuing the tournament. I guess I should have expected it, but it seemed so odd to be doing something so routine while everything was so chaotic.

We won the semifinals, but only by the skin of our necks. I couldn't stand it. We were down to our last person, Dimitri, before we won. It was my bad planning too. I was distracted by everything and overlooked the fact that their fortress was _surrounded by bombs_. They had actually put mine bombs in the ground around them, and I had let half of my team get blown up. It was dumb. I should have had someone tested the ground, like I'd taken to doing after our first encounter with the things.

We still won though, and I took the chance to be happy. I didn't get that opportunity too often anymore, and was grateful for it. I even had a couple of drinks, which was a bad idea, because it ended up as a huge party with almost everyone on campus. I almost got caught making out with Dimitri, which would have been major.

We were kissing on the balcony and a kid had come to throw up. Thankfully, he couldn't get through and was too distracted by the lock to see us in the moonlight. We split apart and watched as he threw up on the glass and walked away. Dick. Who just throws up on your door and then leaves? A dick, that's who.

I sighed and started to get up. The world spun before me, and I realized that I'd had far too much to drink. Dimitri reached out to steady me, having had far less to drink. "We should probably get some sleep or whatever," I muttered. I was still seeing three of everything, but didn't want it to be too obvious. I was going to have a terrible hangover in the morning.

Dimitri nodded and got up. We went through the rooms, clearing everybody out. I knew that they would just keep partying in the streets, but they were no longer my problem, and that was the important part. We made sure that everyone from our Pack was in bed and then went to sleep ourselves. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

My alarm clock shattered my peace the next morning, splitting my ear drums with shrill rings that echoed and grew in my head, pounding against my skull. I threw the thing at the wall before clutching my head and moaning. I couldn't believe that I had been stupid enough to drink that much. And on the day before a battle? Idiotic.

* * *

I climbed out of bed and went to pull myself together, getting dressed in my comfy jeans and a white tank-top. I scarfed down some eggs that Dimitri made and threw my green hoodie on as I went through the door. We were running late, so I got a preview of what I was in for at conditioning. The running was terrible. Each step sent a shock wave from my feet to my hair, pounding me. I hated it and wondered how soon this thing would end. Dimitri just looked at me with amusement.

"Shut up," I muttered at him when I caught him snickering.

"I told you not to drink that much last night, but noooooo. You just couldn't resist letting your hair down and actually drinking." He was right, but I didn't want to admit it.

So instead I just fixed him with a glare and repeated, "Shut up." He shook his head again.

The conditioning was just as bad as I thought it would be, and by the end I was begging my muscles just to keep moving. I got through the rest of the morning like that, begging my mind and muscles to just keep working a little bit longer. I still didn't know what my strategies were going to be for the final that night, and hoped that my team was in top condition.

To my chagrin, more than half of them were as hung-over as me. Nick, Kylie, Abby, Matt, and Lissa were all clutching their heads at lunch, with dark circles under their eyes. "Whose bright idea was the booze?" Kylie groaned. Abby glared at Matt, who got defensive quickly.

"Hey, it was Rose that said she wanted to celebrate. I just translated that. And don't even try to say you didn't have fun. I know you did." I glared at him too.

"You're right, I did. But now I can't think, which means that I don't have a plan for our battle today. And over half of our team is incapable of thinking for themselves." He looked down at his hands, clearly put in his place.

Abby and Kylie looked at me, shocked. "You don't have a plan? But you always have a plan! I thought you came up with them in advance!" They looked so much like spoiled children at that moment, I wanted to slap them.

My hangover finally got to me, and I went off. "I can't think of everything all the time! Did you ever stop and think that maybe I don't know what the hell I'm doing? Did you ever stop and think that I can't just pull these ideas out of my ass? Did you ever stop and think how hard I might have it? No! You didn't stop and think, because that's my job!" I got up and stalked out of the room.

I didn't speak to them again until we had to get ready for the battle. By that time, I had gotten enough time and water for my hangover to wear off, and was feeling guilty about my explosion. I got dressed and told everybody to do the same, then gathered them in the living room for a meeting. "First of all, I want to apologize for my explosion at lunch. I was out of line. It _is_ my job after all. Second, we _cannot_ lose this battle. We need to show everyone that we can win." I needed to show myself that I could win.

"In the face of darkness, we will see light. In the face of danger, we will stay calm. In the face of weakness, we will be strong. In the face of defeat, we will persevere!" It was my best pep talk of the year, and I saw the fire that I had instilled in their faces. I was glad for it, because despite the front that I was showing, I was worried and desperate.

We jogged out of the Dorm in single file. Whenever I shouted, they shouted too. Wherever I jumped, they jumped too. Whatever face I wore, they wore too. We were an inspiring sight, I will admit that. Our spirit brought the attention of others, who started following us. I knew that we would have a packed Arena tonight.

We entered the locker rooms, and I pulled Dimitri aside. "Keep them pumped while I'm gone, okay?" He nodded and I left, satisfied that he would do a good job. I was feeling good, definitely.

The good feeling left as soon as I saw Coach Dargan, and my opponent. Or should I say my opponent_s_. I saw not only the alpha I knew I was going to face, but also the alpha that I had beaten yesterday. What was this?

"What is this?" Dargan looked at me, straight faced.

"It's a war. We decided that yesterday, your match was a tie." He rolled right through my attempt to argue. "Your goal was to kill everyone else and infiltrate their fortress, _while keeping the rest of your team safe_. You killed all of their players and infiltrated the base, but failed to keep your teammates safe. Therefore, today's championship will be a three-way battle for victory." I was left speechless. This was unheard of. It defeated the purpose of a championship to have a three-way battle. But I couldn't argue.

"Your goals are simple. Pack 2: kill all opponents before they kill you. Pack 5: kill all opponents before they kill you. Pack 9: kill all opponents before they kill you." I saw the other Alphas exchange glances and knew that they already had an alliance. Great. "Here are your maps. The Battle will start in 10 minutes. Dismissed!" I sprinted back to my Pack, completely bewildered. I had no idea how we were going to do this. I tried to remember my earlier words, but they seemed fake and false to me now.

I walked in to the locker room and heard Dimitri finishing a speech. He noticed me and smiled. "Ah, here she is. Our fearless leader, come to show us victory."

I hated to be the bearer of bad news. But it was my job. "Alright guys, so this battle is going to be a little bit different." They looked at me, confused, and I explained to them the three-way battle. "I also think that the other two teams are going to team up on us. We're the biggest threat, so it makes sense to get us first, and then go after each other." Almost immediately, their faces changed to ones of fear and outrage.

"They can't do this!" Shouted Kylie. I had to do something.

"They already did!" She shrinks back in her seat. I can't have my team timid before the hardest battle of our careers. "So what are we going to do? Are we going to keel over and die?"

"No!" shouted Dimitri. I was thankful for his help.

"Will they defeat us, for the first time ever?"

"NO!" came the heated reply, this time with half the Pack.

"Will we lose because we can't handle the heat?"

"NO!" The whole Pack was screaming now, the fire back in their eyes.

"Will we prove our worth, and win the EIGHT CONSECUTIVE tournament championship?"

"YES!"

I unfurled the map, checking the terrain. It was going to be a hilly forest. The fortresses would all be raised, suggesting a defensive tactic. But I wasn't so sure that that was the best idea. I didn't want to be a sitting duck for two teams. I folded up the map and tucked it into my pocket. Dimitri and I had both memorized it already, but I wanted to have it just in case.

"Alright guys, here's how it's going to go. Two teams. Jean, Nick, Abby, and Paul are with me. Lissa, Kylie, Matt, and Sam are with Dimitri. My team is on Pack 9; Dimitri's team is on Pack 5. We're going to lure them to fight each other, okay? After a few well placed blows, they will turn on each other. We'll wait that battle out, and then go in to clean up the survivors. Stay in formation, and keep your eyes open at all times. I don't want to be surprised here. Understand?" They nodded, and I called out, "Formations!"

Immediately, they fell into the formations that I'd taught them. We formed a box around our Genezers, Guardian and Dief in front, Heks and Jaeger in back. The pets stayed in between the Guardian and Dief in front, leading with its nose and hearing. The Heks put up a shield that alerted us when someone was near, which I thought was brilliant. "Move out!" and we started jogging in opposite directions, towards our targets.

We were able to kill three of their members, which got them to follow us. We led them to a little valley that I had shown Dimitri. It had two little clearings, separated by a thin layer of trees. I took Pack 9 to one clearing, and Dimitri took Pack 5 to the other. Unfortunately, the process killed Nick, Sam, Matt, and Kylie. But we got both Packs to the clearing. I hoped that the other Alphas didn't realize where they were.

My Pack members stopped to fight our respective Packs, as if we were making our desperate last stand, but then I gave the command and we all retreated into the trees, which The Genezers and Abby propelled us into. A few arrows were shot at the trees, which was perfect. I had Abby blow the arrows so that they hit a member of the other Pack. Each arrow was marked with the color of the Pack, so they knew that their ally had just fired on them. As if that wasn't enough, I had Paul go down, hidden, and throw knifes at the opposite Pack members. These were not marked.

While we watched the angry Packs duke it out, I had Lissa and Jean heal us up, swapping stories with Dimitri. "We were trooping through the forest, and Kylie heard someone. We all stopped, which gave the Dief the perfect opportunity. He got a knife through her back, then another in Sam. Abby set him on fire, and we continued. We killed another Jaeger that was searching before finding the rest of their Pack trouping around as a group. We killed a Genezer and then ran for it." I nodded. Sounded about right.

"Their whole Pack was in one group, so we had to take a more direct route. We killed a Genezer before they killed Nick, and then a Guardian. We ran after that, but a Dief caught up to us and killed Matt. I got the satisfaction of killing the girl." Dimitri nodded, and we turned our attention back to the Battle before us. Pack 5, the Pack that we beat yesterday, was about to die. I knew they would. Their Alpha was just too hot tempered. Didn't think things through. Like charging into a field of arrows. That was just dumb. As soon as they were down, Dimitri, Paul, and I dropped down. Abby, Jean, and Lissa spread out into trees around us, casting magic unseen.

We faced their Alpha, 2 Heks, a Dief, and a Genezer. I took on the Alpha immediately, while Dimitri jumped onto the Genezer. Paul went hidden and started to take out the Heks, who were wreaking havoc on me. I had to stay close to the Alpha to avoid being set on fire, but got frozen every now and then. Abby took out the Dief, and Dimitri took out the Genezer, and then helped Paul with the Heks.

These Heks were _skilled_. Paul was down, then Lissa, then Jean. Dimitri and I were left with Abby, the other Alpha, and the other Heks. Abby finally got a hit on one of them, who went down, struck by lightning. The other Alpha was distracted, and I took the advantage. I pressed hard on the Alpha, and gained the upper hand. I almost had him pinned when I heard Dimitri scream and glanced back. The Heks had set him on fire.

Right as Abby's lightning struck the girl, the Alpha's knife made contact with Abby's heart. I wheeled back around and saw the Alpha smiling triumphantly.

"THAT…WAS…MY…FRIEND!" I screamed at him, cutting him with _Psyche_ every time I said a word. He was on his knees in front of me, his sword gone from his grasp.

Right as I was about to deliver the finishing blow, a shadow passed over us. "_Rose_!" My name was cawed. I looked up and saw a bird. No, I saw Alex. And then I didn't see anything, because the Alpha had pulled a knife out of his boot and stabbed me in the heart.

The last thought that passed through my brain before I fell unconscious repeated over and over.

_We lost. I can't believe that we lost._

**Okay so obviously I didn't finish it when I started writing it, and then I went to Indiana with NO INTERNET and now I finally got back and can post this so here ya go. Please read and review! I always want to know what you are thinking. It gives me a boost to know that you care about what I write. SO:**

**Come on, it's not even that hard! Just click that little button and tell me what you think!**


	30. Realization

**Alright guys so I just started school which means three things:**

**I will have less time to type and update.**

**When I do update, it will be infrequent but the chapters will be longer so please, stay with me.**

**I will be providing brief excerpts from the end of the previous chapter to jog your memory.**

**This goes for both STML and Fallen. Again, please bear with me. I will be writing when I can over the weekends (like now) but will be very, very busy.**

**Also, I don't know why (perhaps it's because of my infrequent updating) but lately I haven't been getting any responses from you guys. It's kind of disheartening to post a chapter and a week later have 1 review. So after this chapter, let me know your still there? Awesome. Now that that's over with, here's the continuation of The Scars that Memory Leaves!**

Last Time:

_Right as I was about to deliver the finishing blow, a shadow passed over us. "__Rose__!" My name was cawed. I looked up and saw a bird. No, I saw Alex. And then I didn't see anything, because the Alpha had pulled a knife out of his boot and stabbed me in the heart._

_The last thought that passed through my brain before I fell unconscious repeated over and over._

We lost. I can't believe that we lost.

Chapter 30

The next few hours were a blur. Kylie and Abby tried to cheer me up with gallons of ice cream (which they had snuck from the kitchen) but all that did was make me feel pathetic. I curled up in bed and told them to wake me up when we had to get ready for the dinner. At which we would be at the normal table. God.

I tried to just fall asleep, but my mind was holding me captive. Thoughts kept running through my head, and I couldn't help but stay awake. _I lost. I let every single one of my friends down. I let them die. What's wrong with me? How did I lose? _The negative thoughts kept swirling around my brain, beating down on my fragile mind. And then the worst one: _I let them die. How can they ever trust me to lead them? _A tear slipped down my cheek.

After a fitful nap had finally been achieved (even if it hadn't helped all that much) it was time to get ready for the big dinner. I showered quickly, not allowing myself time to enjoy the hot water, and then pulled on my fancy uniform. Once that was done, I applied some eyeliner and mascara, took a deep breath, and walked into the living room. The heads of my well dressed Pack snapped up when they heard the door open. It was obvious some of them had been crying. But then again, I'm sure it was obvious that I had been too.

Dimitri walked over and stood behind me, ever the perfect guy. He shouted "March formation!" and everyone fell into line instantly. At least they still pretended to follow me. I took another deep breath and then started the march, keeping my head high even when I felt tiny. There were some murmurs as we went by, and I told myself to just get used to it. There would be a lot of murmurs after this.

The dinner was almost painful. When the Alpha of Pack 9 (the guy who had killed me this afternoon, in case you forgot) gave the speech, he had everyone give me a round of applause. It was ridiculous. I mean, was I the only one in the room that realized that he was just mocking me? Seriously. But then I realized – they were in on it too. The entire time, the other Packs were smiling smugly at each other when they thought that I wasn't looking. They were glad to see me knocked down a notch. Everyone had been tired of me winning.

As I had this realization, I found that I had also been tired of me winning. I mean, when I was winning and everyone was expecting me to keep on winning, it was all so hard. Depression and failure were always on my heels chasing me up a mountain that I was quickly ascending. When I got to the top, I found a cliff. But I couldn't stop, so I was chased right of the edge. And now I was at the bottom, struggling to stand back up. I laughed to myself as the grim thought crossed my mind, mostly because this year, I actually had fallen off of a cliff.

The dinner slowly, torturously passed. When it was over, I marched my team back to the dorm and went to sleep without a word. No one minded, or if they did, they didn't say anything.

The next day was a longer version of the dinner. People murmured when we walked past, shot us looks when we weren't looking, and talked about the same thing – why haven't they been taken yet? After all, everyone knew that we were the cost for the safety of the school. Fargh hadn't gone back on his words. We were still safe. But we were also only one day before the deadline, and I didn't know what was going to happen when the time was up.

In one of my classes, Mia stood up and asked the teacher why we hadn't been turned over. The teacher stared at her for a long time, then turned back around and continued the lecture. When she asked again, the teacher turned around and calmly walked over to her desk. He murmured something along the lines of "We don't need the negative attitude" and "What kind of classmate are you?" which made me feel a little bit better about the accusing stares that the rest of the class was giving us. Most of them were on her side. Most wanted us gone. I stood up, motioned for my Pack to stay, and left.

I intended to go straight to my balcony, tired of trying to ignore the stares. Halfway back to the dorm, I saw a giant bird flying above me. I froze, thinking it was Alex. Then the thought hit me. I started at a run in the opposite direction. It didn't take long to get to Administration, and Fargh looked as if he had expected me.

"What were their exact demands?" I wasn't wasting anytime.

"They asked for the teachers to leave, and for Pack 2 and the Alphas. They said that we had until the end of the week. Why?"

I didn't respond to his question immediately, lost in thought. They wanted me and my pack specifically. They could only have targeted us if they knew the institute and us personally. Which meant that either Judge Harks had talked, or, the more likely answer, that Alex was working with them, and had considerable influence. That wasn't good for us. Alex was just as smart, if not smarter than me when it came to strategy.

Then another thought hit. "They asked for the teachers to leave?" Fargh nodded, staring at me.

"Rose, what are you thinking?" I put a hand up, mulling it over in my head.

If Alex was in influencing the leader, then Pack 2 was the real goal. So why have the teachers leave? If all they wanted was a Pack, they could easily have us dropped off and then take us. They didn't need the teachers leave unless they were planning to come into the institute. It just didn't make sense.

I explained this to Fargh, who nodded. "We thought of that too. It doesn't add up, but since when have the Damis used logic?"

"Well, they've been smart enough to avoid getting killed all these years. And anyways, they have Alex, which means that they'll have more logic and strategy. I mean taking the Judge, that was…" I trailed off as my eyes found a statue behind Fargh's head. It was of a bird in flight. The same bird that Alex always morphed into. The same bird that I had seen before coming over here. Suddenly, a memory jumped to the front of my mind.

_As I lifted my hand to open the door, I heard Harks talking. He was on the phone, and didn't seem happy, so I listened decided to listen in._

_"I don't care what it takes, we can't give any hint that something's wrong…No, I don't want to have to tell you what to do! You should know! …Alright. I expect this to be sorted out by the next time we talk. Goodbye." His call ended abruptly, and then I heard him stand._

"Call the teachers back. Call them back right now! We've been fooled!"

Fargh stood, alarmed. "What are you talking about? They're out searching for Judge Harks!"

I turned to him, fear streaking my face. "They're probably dead." My voice was hoarse, and wouldn't go above a whisper.

"Rose, the search team is a group of twenty fully trained Strijders!"

"How long has it been since you've contacted the search party?" His face visibly paled. It had been a while. "Don't you think it's odd that even though they want my Pack, they're asking the teachers to leave? They would only do that if they planned to come on campus!"

Fargh still didn't understand.

I wanted to scream. "Don't you see? Alex takes the shape of a bird! That bird!" I pointed to the statue, and Fargh turned, confused. "Isn't it odd that Judge Harks has a replica of the same bird that Alex has been taking the shape of for most of the year? Judge Harks wasn't kidnapped. He's one of them! He's been one of them! They're planning an attack! Prepare for battle!"

Fargh sat down. "Even if Harks is a Dami, even with half of the teacher's gone, the walls still can't be breached."

"They can fly, dammit! They're birds! Prepare for battle!" He looked at me, all color from his face fully drained.

"If you're right, then there's no use. It's already too late. They already took down twenty teachers, which is as many as we have. Back up could never get here in time. There's no hope." I reached across the desk and slapped him.

Ignoring how good that felt, I yelled at him. "There's always hope. We have twenty fully trained Strijders, 400 well trained Krijders, and a defendable fortress. NOW PREPARE FOR BATTLE!" He picked up the phone, still glaring at me for slapping him, and started making the calls.

"Go back to the dorms. We need some of the Packs protecting the Lower Krijders. And someone to organize them. I'm placing you in charge." My moment of confidence was over. I wasn't even worthy to command my own Pack. Why did he think I could handle the Krijders? And anyway, the senior Alphas would know more strategy, be better than I could ever be.

I told him this, but he just shook his head. "You're not only the best strategist, but you have the ability to inspire people in the bleakest moments. What you've done this year, dealing with every shot that we threw at you, it's astounding. And you know Alex and the moves that he'll be taking. You're the best option for the job, so you've got it."

I was hesitant, and about to argue when he looked up and saw I was still there. "GO!" His yell spurred me into action. Even if I had no right, I had to at least pretend. It was an order. I sprinted to the Dorms, and burst inside. My Pack looked up, all clustered in the living room.

"Everyone up. We're preparing for battle."


	31. Preparation

**SRY SRY SRY I apologize for taking this line I realize that I'm a terrible person okay? And the fact that I just had an amazing new idea doesn't help things but I will start writing again from today on out. So there. **

**Btw Happy Presidents day!**

**Okay guys. So I realize that I forgot to give you my input at the end of the chapter last time. I didn't really have much, except to say that I'm back and I'm sorry that it took me so long. This one is kind of long to make up for it. I will get on the next one as soon as I finish this one, but again, it will be awhile. Just stick with me.**

Last Time:

"_Go!" His yell spurred me into action. Even if I had no right, I had to at least pretend. It was an order. I sprinted to the Dorms, and burst inside. My Pack looked up, all clustered in the living room._

"_Everyone up. We're preparing for battle."_

Chapter 31

My Pack didn't hesitate, didn't ask questions; they jumped up and got changed, grabbing their weapons and gear. I did the same, dressing quickly in battle uniform and sliding Psyche into my belt. When I got back into the living room, they were already lined up standing at attention. Dimitri turned to me, his eyes shining. "Glad to have you back, Rose."

I smiled. "Glad to be back." And it was true. Looking down their faces, at the respect that they still held for me, I knew that I was back in the saddle. And it was okay. I knew that I did the best that I could in the circumstances, and that I would do better this time. After all, failure was not an option.

"Right. So here's the situation." I briefed them on what we had learned. Some were confused, most were surprised. Jean remained unperturbed, probably having suspected for a while. "It doesn't matter when it happened or how it happened. All that matters is that it did. We have a battle on our hands. Judge Harks is not on our side. Alex is not on our side. Circumstances are not on our side. But we don't need any of them. We are strong, we are a team, and we will not lose two battles in a row!" They smiled and yelled in agreement.

"So now I need your help. Fargh, acting as our stand-in Judge, has activated Omega Protocol." As my Pack stared at me with blank looks, I fought the urge to sigh. I couldn't expect them to know Guardian lingo. "Basically, lockdown aside from a select group of people with special clearance and the commissioning of a campus army. Fargh is now our General of the Army. He has selected Dargan and some others to serve as Generals alongside him. And he has promoted me to Colonel, effective immediately." That meant that I had the same rank as the teachers that weren't generals. I showed them the plastic card that had been given to me. It was similar to our ID cards, except that it held my new status and dictated that I was in command of the Krijders. I then pulled out the nine other cards that had been given to me, and handed them to my Pack members respectively.

"Dimitri, you've been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. Kylie, you're a major. Abby, you're a major. Lissa, you're a major. Sam, you're a major. The rest of you are Captains. These promotions are an honor, but they're also a responsibility. We cannot take these responsibilities lightly. People's lives are in our hands." They all nodded and saluted respectfully. I knew that they would never really understand the weight of command that I bore, but at least they might get a small sample. And really, I didn't want them to have to deal with what I did. The pressure of holding another being's life in your hand – especially a friend – was a burden that I never wanted them to experience. It was a terrible thing to deal with without training. Of course, it was a terrible thing to deal with _with_ training, but I knew that I was strong enough to handle it.

I took a deep breath, trying to think through my mind's ramblings. I didn't know how much time I had, only that it wasn't a lot. "Right. I'm going to visit the seniors, try to get them in order. Jean, you're with me." I ignored the surprised glances. I needed her to help me with the seniors. I knew that they wouldn't be quite as willing as my own Pack to follow me, and wanted Jean to help me sway them into obedience. "Dimitri and Nick, talk to the juniors. Kylie and Paul, take the sophomores. Sam and Matt take the freshman, and Lissa and Abby take the Lower Dorms. I need the Upper Guardians to be brought back here, where we will be setting up command. The Lower Dorms need to be protected, so I'll be sending some Krijders your way as soon as we can. In the meantime, set up some small physical barriers. Kylie and Nick, I'm going to need Bowser and Boo to run some messages for me, if that's alright." They both nodded. "Okay. Everyone knows what needs to get done?" More nods greeted my statements. "Good. Stay smart, stay strong, stay safe. Let's get to work."

After we broke up, I pulled Bowser and Boo over, wrote two notes, and sent them off. I watched them sprint away before turning back to Jean. "Let's go." We ran up the stairs to the senior dorms, knocking on all of the Dorm rooms and calling the Guardians. All of them were annoyed, grumbling as they strolled out, but as soon as I showed them my badge, they got serious. They ran back inside, yelled some orders, and came out a few minutes later in their outfits. I talked them through the situation as we walked back down to my dorm.

"Why can't we just use the senior dorms as command center?" One of the Betas asked. I glanced back, surprised that he couldn't think of the answer on his own.

"Because they can fly, and in any case if we're in the middle of the building we have two equally distanced exits and more fortification. If we were on the bottom then they could come as humans and we wouldn't have time to get to the top. If we were on the top then they could come as birds and we wouldn't be able to reach the bottom. Either way we die."

"But couldn't they just attack from both sides if we were in the middle? I mean it just doesn't seem like the best idea."

I hated people that argued. But I did my best to be patient as I explained to him, "You know how we have the advantage in numbers?" He nodded. "Well they have the advantage in maneuvering. If we give them space, like the air or the ground, they will inevitably out maneuver us and we will be defeated. This way, they have to come through narrow hallways one at a time to get to us. We can navigate the halls better and get around them. We are funneling them in. I'll explain more later."

The hall was silent as I finished my statement. They were just coming to the realization that I actually knew what I was talking about and that we were actually in a real war situation.

I offered a confident smile to try and boost their morale. They were going to need it. As confident as I looked and sounded, the fact that we were forced to remain in the building was _not _a good thing. I had no idea if we really had the manpower or numbers to fend them off. I was making this up as we went along, and I prayed that I didn't make a mistake. What we were doing was dangerous, after all. It was war.

We reached my Dorm and Bowser was sitting out front waiting, a bag clutched in his maw. I took it, patting his head absentmindedly as I looked through the bag.

Excellent.

I walked into the dorm, the seniors trailing behind me. Looking up, I was pleased to see that Dimitri already had the Junior Guardians and that they had set the room up as a command post, clearing the furniture to the peripherals of the room and putting up a big table in the center.

Dimitri saw us walk in amid the confusion and pushed his way through the room to pull me aside. Everyone in the room was nervous, and most were expressing this through chatter, which meant that the room was incredibly loud. To make himself heard, Dimitri had to put his mouth right next to my head. I felt his lips brush against my ear and couldn't help the shiver that ran down my spine. I knew that I shouldn't be thinking that way considering the situation, but I couldn't help liking the closeness of our bodies. All that passed through my mind as he whispered something into my ear, so that I had to ask, "What?" as if I hadn't heard.

He repeated, a little bit louder, "There are going to be too many people in here. We need space." After a quick scan of the room, I nodded and pushed my way back through the crowd to the table. In the most dignified way possible, I climbed onto the table like a drunk girl at a karaoke bar.

I gave my loudest whistle (which was pretty loud) to get the crowd's attention. "Alright! So I need two Alphas from each year. Preferably the highest ranking. The rest please go find a close room in the hall. We'll have messengers keep you posted." There was some grumbling, but after five minutes we were left with the four Alphas that represented the juniors and seniors. The Alpha of the Sophomore Pack 9 (the guy that had beat me, in case any of us forgot) and two more Freshman Alphas showed up just as they left, which meant that our little war committee was all here.

I was about to start speaking when I felt a nudge. Turning, I sighed. It was Mia.

"What the hell is she doing in here?" I asked Leo, the Pack 9 Alpha.

He shrugged. "She said she wanted a word with you before…" He trailed off. "Before whatever happens happens." I glared. He should have kept better control in a situation like this and he knew it. Instead of apologizing he just shrugged again. "She wouldn't take no for an answer."

I sighed and turned to her. "This really isn't the best time. Go back to your dorm and await instructions." I was about to turn back to my assembly, but she caught my arm.

"It's important," She said through gritted teeth, her nails digging into my arm. I pulled my arm back and walked away, annoyed. She followed me onto the balcony. I motioned at her to speak.

She coughed, and looked at the ground. _Huh. Never knew she had a weak side_, I thought. It looked like she was fighting herself for this. After a few moments she took a deep breath, and when she looked back up at me she had a clear determination about her. "I think you should rethink your decision to lead us. I don't believe that you are the best candidate for the job. In light of recent events-" I cut her off with a hand. I couldn't believe that she was going to bring this up right now. Seriously, the girl had control issues. I mean I knew that she hated me and everything, but this was a little extreme. In spite of all of this, I couldn't help a little internal chuckling.

"Truth be told, I had the same thought when Fargh told me." Her face showed shock. "I lost. I let my team down. I let my family down. I let myself down. In light of recent events," I quoted her, "I don't think that I should lead you all either. And I'm scared. But here's the thing. I don't have a choice. Someone has to lead us. And it isn't going to be you, and it isn't going to be Leo and it isn't going to be Dimitri. Because even if you despise me, you have to know that I'm the best. Fargh wouldn't take no because he believed that too. He believes in me.

"I know that I let my teammates down, and I know that you don't trust me. But you have to. Because I know that I won't let my teammates down, I won't let myself down, I won't let this school down. I will do anything, give everything, to protect this school. I will not fail. I believe in me. And now you have to too."

She looked down at her shoes again, then up at me. "I really am trying. I know that I haven't been the nicest to you since, well since Alex left. Truth be told, I think I blame you for his leaving. I always had a crush on him before, and I guess I felt like I was competing with you for his attention. And he left, and now we're doing it again, with Dimitri." She chuckled softly and turned away.

I knew she was crying, but didn't want to say anything. I didn't know what to say. I never knew that she felt that way about Alex, but thinking back on it, it had been kind of obvious. She had always looked at Alex a little strangely, always trying to talk to him. She had been shy and quiet back then. She had been nice. I guess I never really thought about how Alex's leaving might have affected other people.

Without turning to me, she sighed, "I can't do it. I can't forgive you for driving away Alex and stealing Dimitri."

It made me sad to think that we could've been friends. I sighed, and then put a hand on her shoulder lightly. "You don't have to forgive me," I said softly. "I still haven't forgiven myself. But it would be nice to have your support, at least on the field." I let that sink in for a moment and then sighed. "Stay out her for a bit if you want. It always helps me think. Just get to your dorm before too long. You need to prepare."

I walked to the door, but a thought stopped me. "You know, maybe after everything's said and done, we can be friends. You're not that bad." I didn't wait for her response. I wasn't one to push my luck. Instead I walked back to my assembly. Dimitri had started discussing our situation with the newcomers at the table. The seniors and juniors were talking amongst themselves off to the side.

Upon my arrival, they walked back up to the table. All eyes were on me. I coughed, freezing like a deer in the headlights. Then I felt Dimitri's hand on my back, just holding me there. His warmth was comforting and I looked at him in thanks.

"Right. Now that we're all on the same page, let's start talking strategy." I explained my half formed plan to the others, careful to include an explanation after the questions in the hall. "Any objections?" Nothing. "Right. So now we need to consolidate all of our resources and distribute them to the posts. I need you, you, and you," I pointed at one alpha from each grade level, Leo included, "to relay that to your teams. Ammo, food, bandages, medicine, weapons, shields, all that needs to be in this room in the next fifteen minutes. Go." Immediately the four left.

"Now we need a list of all of the Packs." Dimitri took the information down and showed it to me. "Alright now, we can put these two packs here and here to hold the roof with these four as…" The strategy continued, the other Alphas asking questions or making suggestions as we went through the list and posts that needed to be filled. Half an hour later, we had figured out a vague map of positioning. The details would need to be figured out among each of the Packs themselves.

I thought through the logistics again in my head. There were 40 Packs, ten Krijders to a Pack. That meant 400 Krijders. I had sent seven Packs to the Lower Dorms, knowing that teachers would be there to help them out too. That left us with 330 able bodied Krijders, though who knew how many would actually be able to fight well? I knew that they were scared, and I knew that they didn't want to fight. I just didn't know how many would give into their fears.

"Wish I could give them all a pep talk," I muttered to myself.

Dimitri, who had stayed with me, heard and commented, "Well you know there's the P.A system down in the offices on the first floor. You want to use that?" I looked at him. He laughed and asked, "What?"

"Nothing, nothing. I was just thinking about how I'm the luckiest girl alive to have someone like you." He chuckled and I leaned in to kiss him. I had also just thought about how after today, I might never see him again. I was sitting on the table, Dimitri standing facing me. I pulled him closer, deepening the kiss, and he chuckled against my lips.

"Someone's a little aggressive," In answer, I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer still. I was trying to convey everything that I might not be able to later. Who knew when we would have a moment alone again? Who knew if I we would both wake up tomorrow? Who knew if he would ever know how much I loved him?

I needed him to understand, in that moment, that there was no one else. That I loved him completely, forever, with everything that I was. I loved him so much that it hurt sometimes. He made me laugh, cry, shout, scream, smile, worry, and wonder. He made me a better person. And I loved him for it. I needed him to know that, but I didn't know how to say it.

So instead I kissed him, with everything I had, completely unreserved. I invited him in, more than I ever had before. In that moment, I was completely vulnerable. In that moment, time seemed to freeze and I could imagine that we could stay like that, connected, one, for the rest of eternity.

When we finally broke apart, both of us were breathing hard. He pressed his forehead to mine. "I'm the lucky one," he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered back. "Don't ever leave me."

He smiled. "I won't."

"You promise?" He nodded, his smile broadening. "Alright. Let's go to the PA system." We walked through the hallways overflowing with Krijders hand in hand, at peace.

When we got to the room, I wasn't sure what I would say. "How far does this thing reach?" I watched Dimitri setting it up.

"Well, we have speakers throughout this building, and the Lower dorms next to us. They use this room to control the lights and such of the dorms." I nodded, and he handed me the microphone.

I took a deep breath. "Right." I pushed the button, and the feedback was loud enough to catch everyone's attention.

"This is Colonel Rose Hathaway speaking." I paused, and then let the words flow freely. "I know that some of you are scared. I'm here to tell you that it's alright to be scared. We're at war, and I know that up until now, many of you didn't think that that was really going to affect you until you got to the real world. Well, the real world is here now. Our parents have been fighting this war for centuries, and it's time for us to step up to the plate and fight alongside them. It's time for us to pick up the slack and hold the fort down, because we're the only one's here to do it. The California Strijder Head has been notified, and reinforcements are on their way. But we don't know how long they are going to take and until then, it's up to us to stand up and fight. Don't fight for yourselves. Don't fight for the glory. Fight for the people standing beside you holding the line. Fight for your friends, for your families. Fight so that one day, this war may end, and peace may again sweep the land. I urge you to stand and fight." I pulled the microphone down and looked at Dimitri.

"Ready?" He asked me.

I looked at him. "God, I hope so."

**Alright so I know the Mia thingy may have been a little weird, but I had to tie up that loose end. And I hope the Dimitri thingy wasn't too bad I'm just not that good at like romancey stuff. **

_**Alright so I want you guys' input on the battle. I'm gonna let you guys decide who dies. You can choose any of the characters (except for Rose) or no one if you really want but that wouldn't be any fun. I will kill up to two people, just review and tell me who you want to see die. So review and tell me and then I will write it in. Alright?**_

**And also tell me what you thought about the chapter obviously. Alright, until next time!**

**PS:**

**pllllleeeeeaaaassssseeeee? I really wanna know what you guys think and also who to kill...sooooooooooo REVIEW!**


End file.
